My new, upscale restaurant in Washington, D.C. is opening soon.

Here's the first page of the menu.

Welcome to The Velveteen Ocelot Bistro!

Everyone is welcome to dine here. We don't turn anyone away, including Republican members of Congress and people who work for the Trump Administration in any capacity. Our excellent staff of servers, bartenders, cooks and other staff are ready to provide everyone with a first-rate dining experience. And because so many of our staff are Latino or LGBT, we will be donating a percentage of our profits to the ACLU and other organizations fighting discrimination and inhumane immigration policies. If you are one of our very welcome Republican members of Congress or Trump Administration employees, we will notify our staff that you are dining with us so they can be sure to prepare your meal with special attention, and for dessert we'll serve you a complementary piece of Minny's Chocolate Pie! In recognition of your humanitarian efforts we will donate your entire bill and bar tab to the ACLU.

So, Welcome to The Velveteen Ocelot! Enjoy your meal!