Update on the end of a 50 year marriage.
If this the wrong place move or delete it.
Back in mid October my wife of 49 years and 7 months woke up on a Wednesday and decided we should separate for awhile. A week later she filed divorce papers. It was a complete surprise and a shock because she never gave any indication of unhappiness. Not a single clue or complaint.
She gave me four reasons for the breakup over the next month; I was angry all the time and "took a tone" with her, she wants to be independent and capable of being on her own and because our next door neighbor (15 years younger than we are) was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer causing her to re-evaluate her life at 70 and just needs to "do something with her life".
On November first I moved out and into a 600 sq foot apartment.
My grown daughter and I spent a long time comparing notes and have come to what we think is the REAL reason she blew up our marriage and all of my life and future. About two years ago she was diagnosed with generalized epilepsy. He Neurologist prescribed Keppra in a low dose, one tab in the morning and two at night. She immediately became easily distracted and rambled when talking to the point that she actually babbled. At our urging she discussed these side effects with her doctor who immediately reduced dosage by 30%. She got a little better but could still wandered off topic to the point not being able to maintain a conversation. She also seemed agitated and tended to snap at us at every exchange. In September she lost all interest in sex and and the ability to orgasm. Googling Keppra and side effects we found those symptoms to be common side effects along with memory loss and changes in personality.
Again at our urging she asked the Neurologist about these and other symptoms with my daughter on a three way conference call. She denied having any of the behaviors described. The neurologist considered our concerns and prescribed another drug that takes 3 months to titrate up as the Keppra titrates down. She refuses to fill the new prescription. I have asked why and she says all our concerns are imaginary. Finally I pleaded with her, telling her that everybody who knows and loves her has seen the changes and spoken to her about them and I asked if she would please consider taking her doctor's advice. The answer was a resounding "NO!" in her typical snappish fashion.
So it seems that our marriage is irredeemable. Keppra has killed the woman I loved and lived with for all those years. She has been replaced with a body double with a completely different personality.
The only good thing is that we have finally found something about our breakup that bothers her. She's going to have to cash out half of her 401k, about $350,000 and pay income taxes on it before transferring it to my account. That seems to be giving her heartburn.
Valentines Day would have been 50 years.
ETA
I have moved out of the apartment which in my current state of mind is nothing but a suicide trap and am sleeping on daughter and SIL's couch. We will convert the 11x12 formal dining to a bedroom.
= new reply since forum marked as read
You have grandkids?
It’s really great your daughter and SIL are being supportive 
Good for your daughter and SIL for supporting you -- it shows the kind of relationship you have with them. (Not every SIL would want an in-law moving in.)
