Trump Declares Houses That Worship Him "Essential"

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, the President of the United States of America declared the 10th Amendment “total and complete bullshit written by likely Never-Trumpers” on a podcast hosted by right-wing conspiracy theorist and world record holder for largest, emptiest forehead Dan Bongino. A few hours later, Trump would announce from the White House briefing room that he was strongly urging governors in all 50 states to allow congregations to return to their tabernacles, synagogues, mosques, and churches. Though the Constitution gives no president the ability to demand a governor open churches back up in such a way, Trump hinted he’d be willing to take some kind of action in an attempt to do just that.

President Trump declared religious structures as “essential” during today’s press conference, which was not on his official schedule yesterday.

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“Thank God President Trump has the strength to tell the Constitution where to go fuck itself,” Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Donald’s Anus) told reporters on the Hill shortly after Trump made the announcement. “He’s not like Obama trying to use executive overreach to help undocumented workers establish some kind of security and future in the country they live and pay taxes in for God’s sake! He’s using it to push this country ever closer to a theocratic kleptocracy run by a bunch of kakistocratic, racist, white collar morons! If that ain’t what the founders wanted for this great nation when they rebelled against Lincoln’s tyranny, then by Jesus Christ I don’t want to live in America anymore!”

https://www.politicalgarbagechute.com/trump-houses-essential/