Borowitz: Trump's Trial Ends Abruptly After He Makes Full Confession in His Sleep
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In a twist that surprised even the most hardened trial watchers, Donald J. Trump’s hush money trial came to a sudden conclusion on Wednesday after the defendant issued a full confession while soundly asleep.
Trump, who had been snoring vigorously all morning, began mumbling shortly after 10 a.m. despite Judge Juan M. Merchan’s admonishment that he quiet down.
His eyes still closed, the indicted businessman blurted, “I had sexual relationships with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, then orchestrated an elaborate hush money conspiracy to corrupt the 2016 election.”
The courtroom was dumbfounded to hear Trump issue not only a complete confession but also a complete sentence, witnesses said.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trumps-trial-ends-abruptly-after
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