to fire a pistol in a residential neighborhood. That guy should be arrested and should not be allowed to own a gun. Completely reckless act.

... and just focus on the big scary gun.

So sorry you don't like it.

What did the father do that was illegal again?

instead of gone into gungeoneer mode, you would see. Bye.

... you don't know.

You don't know where he lives, you don't know the laws where he is and I have a sneaking suspicion that your knowledge of the gun laws in your area are based on "what you know" and not a specific reference.

Am I correct?

for shooting a gun in his yard. So that confirms my sneaking suspicion about you, that is you don't know shit.

... what is the law based on the residential/commercial/rural zone that he may be in?

Do you know this guys address?

I live in NC as well and we are well within our rights to shoot away in many places that would probably terrify you (to include off of back porches).

Again, I ask, which specific law did he break?

I'll give you a hint. You have no idea because you don't even know where this guy is. The state of NC is not one monumentally large no-gun zone (Thank God.)

Read it carefully, word by word. DU is a place for opinions. I gave mine. You don't like it? TS

Cheers...

He was obviously on an acreage. I live in Nebraska on ten acres, sometimes I shoot geese in my backyard (I have a 1-acre pond). I would not do that if I lived in downtown Omaha. Your post really makes little sense to me.

Take his laptop, er guns away from him for wreck less and unauthorized use and see if he agrees that he needed to be disciplined. After all, as a parent, he should be showing good example...walking the walk instead of just talking the talk.

the People's Republic of Montgomery County. While not saying the father in question was right or wrong, he could have done the same thing on the Eastern Shore or, heck, even south county Anne Arundel with enough acreage. You'd be surprised at what I hear sometimes being shot off down here.

That'd be news to me. I have lived here over 60 yrs. To my knowledge the county has not taken over the means of production. They do have excellent gun laws.

County that some of my liberal friends, who live there use. Sort of like the People's Republic of Tacoma Park.

Bad daddy, take him away? No, wrong...

Parents who DON'T care are the ones who need to be removed.

As far as reckless-

I guess it would be for someone who is scared of firearms and wants them wiped off the planet in some different World

LOL

here is her response to what her father did.

http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/mainheadlines3.html?feed=421220&article=9744152

Social services should get her alone and here her version. She's probably scared shitless.

let social services take her away from the bully,and give her version.

... and forced her to type out the rational reasonable "I learned my lesson" response that you posted.

You as well must know what is right for this girl, huh?


Im glad some people here know what is right for her, because her own parents do not.

The cluelessness on display here on du about deranged gun dad and his dysfunctional family is astounding.

he wishes now he had never pulled the idiotic stunt. It's funny how he tells in the update posted above, of how he lectured his daughter about posting things online that can come back to haunt you later.

from the public and media for allowing his anger to get the best of him and show him for what he truly is.

A control freak with a gun.

pfffffftttt. I feel bad for his daughter, he's dragged her into this. It wasn't bad enough that she just thought her father was an asshole, now she actually has to know it.

It's just bizarre to me.

How silly of me.

"Since this unsuspectingly threw her into the limelight much more strongly than either of us intended, I asked her if she wanted to make her own response video, and told her I’d let her do it if she wanted to. She doesn’t like being in front of the camera, so she declined, but I’ve told her if she wants to write a response or post a video response, I’d be OK with it. It’s only fair considering the viral nature of the whole thing. So far she’s not really interested. Quite frankly it seems she’s gotten bored of it much faster than the general public has. If that changes I’ll post it here."

I heard this on the radio on friday (Russ Martin show)---

Was fucking hilarious..I'm sure his daughter just needs to be sat down and talked to. Explain how it really hurt his feelings and her step-mom's. Maybe go ahead and take her shopping for an even better laptop for a bonding moment.

dares write this?

I was not aware of this video until now.

'It's not a gun. It's a tool.'

What a lunatic.

and we all know that never happens, so he must be right!

See post 192

What that father did was wrong in about 10 different ways. That your daughter doesn't recognize any of them makes her a teenager. That you don't is a different matter.

That father is teaching his daughter that you solve relational problems with drama, even with violence and shaming. That will be great for her later, won't it?

Geezus, it doesn't get more toxic than that.

I re-read my post and I don't recall saying I would shoot my daughters laptop.

I did read that I asked HER what she would do, and she herself said she wouldn't shoot it. Which says alot about her values, ironicly taught to her by her parents.

I also read that her and I had a thoughtful discussion on it... and give her a forum to get her thoughts out there.

Maybe you could point to where in the post I stated that I would do what he did?

Because if she isn't, you aren't giving her a forum but using her viewpoint for your own purposes.

She doesn't have an account on DU, hence the post with me typing what she said.

What do you think my purpose is? Considering I didn't give my own opinions on it, only hers? The only thing I posted is what we did as parents when she did something similar, to show she had an experience she could speak from.

If you want my own personal opinion on it instead of hers, all you have to do is ask. I think you'd be surprised, with the assumptions you made about me already.

My personal opinion:

Incredibly wasteful, doesn't teach any value except for "I'll do what I say", and even then that should have ALREADY been taught by caring for her and keeping promises.

It would have gone alot farther to have her take it and donate it to a charity, herself.

I would have had her write a letter to the family friend in apology for calling her a "cleaning lady"

I don't think "She got what she deserved" unlike my 15 year old's comment. I think more along my 17 year olds view which is "Drama much?"

It was unsafe for him to shoot it at all, shrapnel and glass could have injured him or others. Richocet, etc. He was speaking of respecting things and people, yet did something incredibly unsafe by not respecting the damage possible with shooting a gun. Mixed message there.

Now, that you know my PERSONAL opinion. Maybe you could focus on what the OP was about... my 15 year old daughers take on the whole thing?

Thanks in advance


Edited to add, also I don't believe in public humiliation. I feel it only breeds resentment.

And you're welcome.

So even with my answers you stand by this?

"What that father did was wrong in about 10 different ways. That your daughter doesn't recognize any of them makes her a teenager. That you don't is a different matter."

No addressing the fact that you made incorrect assumptions?

Alrighty then.

Which, btw, compares the viewpoint you say is your daughter's with another similarly filtered viewpoint that an abusive out of control father says is his daughter's.

you're entitled to your opinion, but just like I can't know exactly what you're thinking sitting in your home while you type you can't really know whats true in my home as well.

Assume that it's filtered, if thats what floats your boat. In the end it really doesn't matter to me what you think, as long as my post got you to THINK. It did that, because you're responding to it. You don't sit at my kitchen table and have coffee with me, or spend time with my kids so no big deal.

That's why it was ended with "Food for thought" instead of "This is the only way to view this situation and my family knows everything." It wasn't an absolute, it was a thing to ponder. I guess we'll just have to disagree with the semantics of it, and let it be done.

Take care.
MoF

One thing you might want to address with your daughter that "she" didn't pick up on. If she is in a relationship with a man who tries to control her by destroying her stuff and then blaming her for it, she needs to run.

That would seem to me to be the important point, not if some stranger is a horrible parent or what his daughter thinks of him. Food for thought.

I didn't catch the bridge from one to the other. People tend to repeat patterns of control and abuse, that's a simple fact.

I know this is just text and you don't know me from a stranger in the street, but if you can see your way to believe me trust that I'll talk to her about it. Maybe use something like "You know what someone brought up about that post today?" as an opener.

Here's a good page to read about it. http://www.stanford.edu/group/svab/relationships.shtml it's a site for abuse prevention and support.

I could also direct her to the fact that if she really felt the girl "got what she deserved." then why did she change it when I asked her what she would do if she were the dad? No where in there did my daughter state she would do what the girls father did.

If she truly felt the girl deserved to get her laptop shot, then why wouldn't she shoot the laptop herself? Why give it away, or sell it if shooting it was the right thing to do?

I'm always open to talking points.

This guy is a bully. With a need to use guns.

you know, that one we are all talking about here!


http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/mainheadlines3.html?feed=421220&article=9744152

here she explains that the internet is full of strange people.

Let social services intervene,get her out of that bully's house and then see what she says.

you know exactly what the daughter thinks and you know what is best for her.


thanks for clearing that up.

Yeah,I think she probably wants out.

oh please, get off your high horse

there are some here freaking out way too much over "he shot it"


OMG HE IS A HORRIBLE FATHER!! GET THAT GIRL OUT OF THERE!!

im going to assume everything is just fine because her parents are good people because there has been nothing more in the news about it. dont you think CPS would be investigating if they felt or heard there were problems there?

and they handle it.


What I do know is that things get blown way out of proportion when you get a lot of people trying to say what is wrong with a family and what they should do. we don't know what is right for this family or their history of problems. I haven't read anything that the father ever threatened his daughter to her face or that he is abusive, those are only words I have read others say.

I guess that depends upon your definition of "typical". In many families we manage to solve problems without shooting things. YMMV.

what they are doing.

or using a gun to destroy their shit, or destroy their shit for that matter. The few times I lost it with any of them and got physical I apologized and made it quite clear that I was wrong for doing so. I don't know anyone else who publicly humiliated their children, or shot their kids stuff, or acted like deranged gun dad. Deranged gun dad's behavior is way outside the norm. It is abnormal.

I hope they got out of that abusive situation.

so that would not be outside the norm. But I am not defending my actions. They were wrong. I clearly stated that. They were abusive. You on the other hand are defending this abusive asshole. Do you see the difference?

He merely destroyed a laptop. You actually physically abused your kids.

I can tell you this from experience. If you called CPS and said my father just shot my laptop they would have a hearty laugh. If there was actually physical abuse then it's a different story.

Via your super duper DU crystal ball?

I adore your posts on Latin America but you are off base here with all due respect.

But I've certainly raised my voice and taken away toys/privileges. I also majored in child & family studies in college and always had the attitude that corporal punishment was wrong. That said, I don't go around telling other parents how to raise their children because I wouldn't want them doing the same to me.

In this case, since we're discussing it, I'd opine that he's not abusive - but he could've made his point better by giving the computer away to charity. Why teach a kid to destroy something when they're mad? I understand he was angry but I think it let it get the best of him. Nobody's perfect - and he's certainly not as bad as psycho judge that we talked about a few months ago.

I admit to my failings. If you don't see how subjecting your child to a massively public humiliation with violent overtones is abusive, then we are just going to have to disagree about that. What was her crime? She whined to her friends.

but who knows what else goes on at that house. He does strike me as a bully - when he said he was "letting" her talk to CPS it set off a red flag for me.

that is why we call them children. Around 12 or so they become capable of abstract thought and that will vary based on the individual.

I have no problem with consequences to actions, and in this case my advice would have been take away the computer permanently (given it's a second and serious offense - give it to charity).

It sure looks that way. He is getting what he deserves all over the Internet, you are going to be quite busy.

That I can agree with 100%.

But what this guy did by his own admission and presentation is domestic violence. When parents become violent, the details become less important until the violence is resolved. That's how it works.

The problem here is, the teenager used Facebook to vent her anger inappropriately and her dad outdid her, with a gun and destruction of property. Not much she can learn from that except maybe if you escalate, you can win. Is that what he wants her to learn?

The parents need to learn how to deal with their own anger appropriately before the kid can learn that from them. Otherwise, they're looking at years of this sh!t.

And he isn't much of an IT guy, either, if he thinks he solved her Facebook problem by shooting one laptop.

same level of maturity (if not less) than his 15 year old daughter.


Seriously, a 15 year old girl complained to her friends about the chores her parents make her do chores. Seriously. Am I supposed to be surprised or shocked?

I get it--it's tough to have kids--they never properly appreciate you, are ungrateful, and even act like children.

The thing is while the daughter's behavior's is normal for a 15-year old, the father's is not for a middle age men.

And while I could see a kid over exaggerating about chores to her friends or just being overly whiney, given that her father's response to this was to shot her labtop nine times with exploding hallow point bullets, and post a video of it on youtube I am tempted to believe her that he might be an unreasonable man.

Last edited Sun Feb 12, 2012, 11:48 PM - Edit history (1)

to check and see if their relationship is abusive. I posted one here somewhere downthread.

I added a chart in #206.

supposedly condoning it. Even if so, she's a minor.

her who's boss. She knows she's got to live with him until she's old enough to move out on her own; in the meantime, she's wise to be saying what he wants to hear, because, lord knows, he's probably got a case or two of those dollar bullets.

As for those who are condoning his using a gun to destroy the computer instead of giving it to someone who could use one, I blame that on our present culture which seems to be de-sensitized to violent displays of anger.

Using guns to get a person's point across in a mood of anger is never okay.

become a stripper?

an extreme over-reaction, just as the dad's behavior was extreme.

Not saying he is a total dickhead, I do give parents a lot of leeway and believe most do their best, but he over-reacted.

spoiled, lazy brat and totally deserving of everything she gets? But suddenly her opinion is gold?

Victims frequently defend abusers. It's not unusual. It's definitely not surprising after she's been humiliated on a national scale- also she probably loves her dad, and he's taken some well-deserved heat for this. That doesn't make it ANY LESS ABUSIVE to bully her by firing a weapon at her possessions. Clear?