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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBorowitz: Santorum Proposes Replacing Church, State with New Entity Called ‘Sturch’
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/02/28/santorum-proposes-replacing-church-state-with-new-entity-called-sturch/LANSING (The Borowitz Report) Telling a crowd of supporters that the separation of church and state makes me want to throw up, GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum today proposed replacing church and state with a new entity he called sturch.
Merging church and state into sturch will benefit all Americans, he said. Except maybe Jews.
Mr. Santorum said that the combined entity would offer greater convenience to the American people than the separation of church and state currently does, since Americans would be able to get salvation and motor vehicle renewals at the same place every Sunday.
Turning to another campaign theme, Mr. Santorum told the crowd, I support the rights of the unborn child until it is born and wants an education.
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LiberalEsto
(22,845 posts)It's a nasty one.
Chipper Chat
(9,708 posts)1) Replace all state college governing boards with religious leaders. Catholics would control schools above the Mason-Dixon line; protestant churches all below.
2) Ban all fraternities and sororities from college campuses.
3) Eliminate campus lounges and student "watering holes."
4) Require students to attend church services on Sunday and one weeknight. Violators expelled.
5) Require sports teams to visibly pray in front of the audience before the game and after each score.
6) Out homosexuals would be banned from attending college.
7) Science courses would be eliminated.
8) All students would be required to either major or minor in religion.
9) There will be no such thing as 'student loans.' All college attendees must be self-funded.
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zbdent
(35,392 posts)you rang?