.

I mean it!!!

And SHE can't even -use- the pickle jar!

For the next 8 years and nothing is going to stop that.

And it's going to be great!

We got a year and a half to go! Try playing the alphabet game.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Make him stop!

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and says its me farting........okay maybe six or seven were mine ............

I've *really* got to go!

What's a dildo?

or I'll drive crazy and we'll all be dead!

(actual thing a mom used to say to her kids back in the 50s... not MY mom)

We were the Roat Trip Vacation family. On those road trips, I used to torture my Sister with Pringles. My Mom would measure, actually COUNT out two stacks. One for me, one for my Sister. I'd wait til Sis wasn't looking, and put three or four aside somewhere in the back seat...

I'd eat them one at a time. Sometimes I'd crush one in my hand and let the crumbs fall into my open mouth. That always made her laugh. My Sister carefully matched me chip for chip, never noticing that sometimes I'd eat two at once.

So we'd finish our Pringles about the same time, and I'd let her forget about them. Then, oh maybe an hour, two hours, heck sometimes half the day would pass before I'd calmly reach into my hiding place and pull out four or five Pringles chips.

Now. I want you to imagine the sound of a pre-scream, deep-lung, gotta-have-as-much-air-as-I-can-scream with inhalation... followed by MMMMMMOMMMMMM!!!! If you have the song "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons, go to the 40 second mark and you'll hear the best re-creation of that sound I've ever heard.

I have to laugh at some of you though; my Dad's threat was never that he was going to turn around. It was that he was going to PULL OVER and get in the back seat WITH us.

I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you I'm not touching you

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Stop!"

Poke.

"I said stop" (starting to laugh)

"Poke"

"Stop!"

"Knock it off, you two"

"But I didn't... She poked me!"

"Just stop!"

Quiet for a moment.

"Poke"

and I will shut your water off!

(The worst threat dad LW ever made!!)
IT MEANT BUSINESS!!!