Today Is a Work Holiday in Alabama to Honor Jefferson Davis

(And Lindsey Graham declares his campaign. Coincidence?)



If you needed to run yonder to Bessemer for that easement to cross Scuzz McWhorter’s field so’s you can dig up all the lead shot what gramma’s blasted out there from the kitchen porch over all these years, let it wait till Tuesday, son: Alabama done went down to the beach in honor of the Confederacy!

Yes, it is another first Monday in June, which means it is Jefferson Davis Day, Alabama’s official commemoration of the Confederate States’ first and only president. A holiday still celebrated by two thirds of state residents. The only state holiday, in fact, to commemorate ol’ JD. Offices are closed, just like they would be on Confederate Memorial Day and Robert E. Lee Day in Alabama! Go home, get grilling, get wet, get stupid, and reflect on the things that matter in life.

It’s a peculiar holiday, given that Jefferson Davis’ birthday is actually on June 3, and also given that Davis was born in Kentucky, ruled in Virginia, fled through the Carolinas and Georgia, retired in Tennessee, and settled in Mississippi, with only the briefest of layovers in Alabama. And also because Jefferson Davis was the head of a fucking racist tyrannical state whose fucking reason for fucking existing was its fucking insistence on the treatment of enslaved human beings as fucking chattel to enrich fucking people like Jefferson Davis.

But, you know, it’s June. And it’s nice out! Lay in the recently repainted bed of the ’79 El Camino and soak up the states’ rights.

FYI: There is a young lady about mid article in a Confederate flag bikini laying on the aforementioned '79 El Camino, so clicking on the link and scrolling down could be NSFW

http://gawker.com/today-is-a-work-holiday-in-alabama-to-honor-jefferson-d-1708148870