WTF?!? NOT the Onion! "Grand Central: A Letter to Stingy American Consumers" from the WSJ
http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2015/06/02/grand-central-a-letter-to-stingy-american-consumers/Dear American Consumer,
This is The Wall Street Journal. We’re writing to ask if something is bothering you.
The sun shined in April and you didn’t spend much money. The Commerce Department here in Washington says your spending didn’t increase at all adjusted for inflation last month compared to March. You appear to have mostly stayed home and watched television in December, January and February as well. We thought you would be out of your winter doldrums by now, but we don’t see much evidence that this is the case.
You have been saving more too. You socked away 5.6% of your income in April after taxes, even more than in March. This saving is not like you. What’s up?
more crap like this at the link.
= new reply since forum marked as read
We're gonna need a lot of it. 
1:47 pm June 2, 2015
PissedOffAmerican wrote:
Greetings, Clueless Wall Street Apparatchik.
Apologies for not spending more. Truly, I am very sorry that i didnt start this project earlier.
I am currently saving to buy some lumber for a scaffold, then will need to spend some more $$ for a steelworker to fabricate the blade. Once my resulting Guillotine is functional, I will be sure to bring it to Wall Street for some testing.
Care to volunteer?
Cheers,
AngryRabbleInTheStreets - coming to a street corner near YOU! 
1:48 pm June 2, 2015
Charles wrote:
Dear John EFF OFF AND DIE
1:49 pm June 2, 2015
Guy wrote:
have lost faith in the system The crooks were reward with trillions in print money for breaking the financial system. The people responsible for justice were rewarded with 8 figure jobs from the crooks running the banks. The same crooks are still running the same crooked mega banks.I didn't receive a dime from the printed trillions! Savers have been STOLEN from for 7 years. I don't happen to be a IPO ZERO revenue company sitting on a billion in stock. PEOPLE KNOW THE FED HAS BEEN BOUGHT! Please explain the punishment meted to those that broke the financial system! We have a CRONY ECONOMY... People know it is another BUBBLE!
1:59 pm June 2, 2015
jeffefh wrote:
Maybe the stingy employer should raise the consumer's wages? Just a thought. You've got your Ivory Tower glasses on John. Look out the window from time to time.
2:00 pm June 2, 2015
Dammerung wrote:
Dear Fed Jackass
Yeah, how DARE I save any of the meager earnings left over after paying $1700 in rent for a one bedroom apartment and $600 a month or more on groceries? How DARE I prepare for an uncertain future and not totally trust your cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die promises that you'll pay all my medical needs and for my eventual (like that's going to happen, ha!) retirement. Oh well at least I HAVE a job unlike a lot of my friends, and at least I don't have any student loans to pay off like almost my entire peer group thanks to the generosity of my parents.
In conclusion, you've got a nice neck but wouldn't it look better dangling from a lamppost?
Love, Millennials
2:08 pm June 2, 2015
Tex wrote:
Yet another elitist who appears to be completely out of touch with middle-class America.
2:12 pm June 2, 2015
hmm wrote:
Still looking for "The Onion" title. Did The Onion steal the wsj domain name? So confused. This can't be real. If it is, well, wtf?
2:14 pm June 2, 2015
mynamett@yahoo.com wrote:
I see that there is two comments calling for social revolution and the death of the elite that is now running the corporate fascist political country.
2:14 pm June 2, 2015
Mike K. wrote:
if your economic model looks on personal after tax savings as bad - you are an agent of the state and the banks, not the people.
It is an idiotic, cynical view of what people should do with their money.
*Once my resulting Guillotine is functional, I will be sure to bring it to Wall Street for some testing.
Two of my favorite signs, from back in 2008
You need to contact the handful of people who have amassed all the money by savaging the middle class over the past 35 years in order to maximize profits and boost their stock prices. They're the only ones left with the money to keep your unsustainable economic model from imploding, and they already have sixteen microwave ovens, twelve luxury sedans, three yachts, and several mansions. They'll probably be needing some bigger warehouses to store all that excess stuff that today's minimum wagers can't afford to buy, so there's an investment tip for you. 
WHY U NO EAT CAKE????? 
