General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsJust so we're clear, if you deliberately use the wrong pronoun
to refer to a trans man or trans woman, you're wrong. In fact, not only are you wrong, but you're also probably a pretty awful person in general.
No, the trans* person in question being a Republican doesn't justify it.
No, the trans* person being involved in reality TV doesn't justify it.
No, the trans* person being charged with leaking documents to Wikileaks doesn't justify it.
No, sexual reassignment surgery and therapy to help a transgender individual live in the right body is not comparable to having plastic surgery to look like a dog.
Some of your fellow DUers are trans*. Some of them have trans* friends or family members. Your deliberate use of the wrong pronoun, whether you know it or not, hurts them. They shouldn't have to deal with this hatred from their fellow progressives.
Knock this shit off, please.
Xipe Totec
(43,893 posts)enlightenment
(8,830 posts)Pretty damned pathetic it has to be said at all on DU.
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)Nothing.
enlightenment
(8,830 posts)There is a lot of fear and loathing in the world - and DU is no exception.
Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)And they all seem to think they can demand fealthy and obeisance from we their "lessers."
Warren Stupidity
(48,181 posts)johnp3907
(3,737 posts)There have been so many repulsive and idiotic comments lately.
63splitwindow
(2,657 posts)Common courtesy costs nothing yet is so valuable.
63splitwindow
(2,657 posts)niyad
(114,007 posts)63splitwindow
(2,657 posts)for that common courtesy.
bigbrother05
(5,995 posts)My 2nd favorite model after the original
63splitwindow
(2,657 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)you wouldn't then turn around and call them Francine. Because it's not their damn name.
calimary
(81,612 posts)Common courtesy.
This is a great line, btw, 62splitwindow:
"Common courtesy costs nothing yet is so valuable."
63splitwindow
(2,657 posts)Definitely not an original thought. I'm not sure if I've heard it said exactly that way before or not.
brer cat
(24,673 posts)Welcome to DU, 63splitwindow.
brer cat
(24,673 posts)Welcome to DU, 63splitwindow.
63splitwindow
(2,657 posts)Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)Thanks for the reminder.
tarheelsunc
(2,117 posts)the word "progressives" should be in quotes.
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)As in, not understanding the conflict between sexual assignment and identifying with a different gender. I even admit to occasionally fucking up pronoun usage, even when it comes to my two trans* friends, even to their faces.
But it takes a special kind of hate to deliberately do that in the midst of constant reminders, just to spite them for their associations.
cherokeeprogressive
(24,853 posts)TDale313
(7,820 posts)Sad it has to be stated, but clearly it does.
City Lights
(25,171 posts)Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)It probably should be posted once a day so people don't have the excuse they didn't see it. Of course they should already know this and not need a PSA.
uppityperson
(115,681 posts)MisterP
(23,730 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)that I generally hold all forms of transphobia in equal disdain, thanks.
MillennialDem
(2,367 posts)and play video games and watch sci fi movies and shows with my girlfriend all day. Well, we have more hobbies and do other things than just that, but you get the jist of what I'm saying.
*Not that there would be anything wrong if I did, but this whole trans women are instruments of the patriarchy to infiltrate women's groups is truly tinfoil hat worthy.
OneGrassRoot
(22,923 posts)Last edited Fri Jun 12, 2015, 12:20 PM - Edit history (1)
I was deeply immersed in various feminist discussions last year, for the first time in decades. So many subsets of feminism now that I can't begin to list all of them. (But please don't get me wrong, I do consider myself a feminist, probably a radical feminist.)
But the impression I came away with was how many not only exclude but are almost vicious toward trans women. I knew they felt few trans women had truly experienced growing up as a female and thus didn't know what it's like to be a female in a patriarchal world, and many are flat-out nasty about that, but I didn't realize there was a conspiracy theory that trans women are instruments of patriarchy, infiltrating.
Wow. That is so friggin sad.
MillennialDem
(2,367 posts)transition should be illegal even for trans people who mind their own business.
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)As they should, they are bigots.
Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)But I can think of at least one person who fits the outline that MisterP put forth who is most assuredly not banned...
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)There have been a couple, but they get banned if you can catch them. It took a few years to get some of them gone, but it does happen.
F4lconF16
(3,747 posts)My opinion, anyways. You're not a feminist if you're not interested in equality for all. Screw that.
tblue37
(65,556 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)They exclude women who were born men?
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)It's a backwards and completely nonsensical ideology that women who were sexually assigned as male at birth and/or raised as men can never really be "true women."
treestar
(82,383 posts)That spelling I guess is to take out the concept of being a form of man (i.e. women are men in the species sense).
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)Also mixed in with a conspiracy theory that men are pretending to be women to invade women-only spaces so they can rape women. That's not a thing. 1) Trans women are not men and 2) cis gender men would not go to all of that effort when men can gain access to several other spaces for any purpose.
treestar
(82,383 posts)There can be some people who are really out there !
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)I breathlessly await your nonsensical reply.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)ladyVet
(1,587 posts)Shit. Never mind. To some people, I guess women are like a terrorist group, what with us pushing for equal rights and all. We must have an agenda, like all those gay people do!
I once had a job where I spoke to all sorts of people, including some transgendered folks. My habit was to speak to them just as I would anyone else, with civility and respect. From some of their reactions, it wasn't what they were used to.
To my knowledge, I haven't shared a rest room with a trans woman, but it's entirely possible. I tend not to be too focused on other people, so I probably missed it. I might be a little uncomfortable if I did realize another person was trans, but I don't think it would bother me much after the first second or two.
Also, what the heck is a "gender theorist"?
yardwork
(61,821 posts)bullwinkle428
(20,631 posts)MillennialDem
(2,367 posts)(I transitioned a little over a decade ago).
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)brooklynite
(95,070 posts)There are thousands on trans people going through difficult transitions that aren't getting any attention, because they're not on a celebrity TV show.
Logical
(22,457 posts)rock
(13,218 posts)Or am I being sarcastic? More than likely I'm just crazy.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)Jenner's fame, and transition from Bruce to Caitlyn will inspire others.
LostOne4Ever
(9,302 posts)Bigotry like that does not belong on DU!!!
xfundy
(5,105 posts)We're better than that.
AwakeAtLast
(14,134 posts)But I'm glad you did. I have seen things on this site lately I thought I would never see.
Thank you!
Spider Jerusalem
(21,786 posts)"trans" in this instance is an adjective that modifies "man" or "woman"; you don't say "a tallman" or "a blondewoman".
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)F4lconF16
(3,747 posts)DemocraticWing
(1,290 posts)This has to be a staple of keeping DU a safe space for LGBT people
F4lconF16
(3,747 posts)And one is a trans-woman (well, I'm not sure--ze's yet to make it clear, and I don't know if ze knows zirself). When I asked zir what name and pronouns ze would prefer when we skype tomorrow, ze was surprised and said
Call people by the name they want to be called. It matters.
Edit: whoops, pronouns. The irony.
romanic
(2,841 posts)What happened to just "he" and "she"?
RandiFan1290
(6,262 posts)Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)There has been some really nasty transphobia on DU through the years. Most people have learned to be more polite to transmen and transwomen, but too many still refuse to show any manners at all. Some people on DU are outright transphobic and flaunt the fact that they can get away with it, JUST to bully the T part of the LGBT community of DU. It is disgusting and rude.
ladyVet
(1,587 posts)I don't think I'm naive, it just boggles my mind. What is the trans person doing to me? Unless they rob me, or hit me, or call me names, or something like that, and even then I'd say it was because they were being an ass, not because they were trans.
Gay or straight, male or female, religious or not, darker skin or lighter than me, whatever that's different, we are all human beings and we should at least tolerate the differences, if some can't accept them. There's way more serious shit going on in the world.
riqster
(13,986 posts)davidpdx
(22,000 posts)I have on occasion made a mistake not using the correct pronoun. Certainly if it isn't deliberate, the person who said it needs to be gently reminded.
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)And it's usually pretty easy to tell when it's someone who either just doesn't fully understand it or just slipped up, or if it's someone doing it from a place of spite or hate.
KamaAina
(78,249 posts)He is an ex-DUer! He's pining for the fjords! </python>
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)That one was the most blatant when it came to transphobic nonsense, but there are at least two others there that should be gone as well.
Xyzse
(8,217 posts)It is mostly in regards to one person though.
A friend of mine, she got married to her wife at the time, who then after 5+ years decided to have the operation to become a man instead.
Since I first known him as my friend's wife, I still sometimes call her, her wife then automatically change to husband.
One reason though that I still make that mistake quite a bit, is because when I talk about them, I tend to have to explain what happened historically with my friend, saying that she was married on my birthday back in 2000, with her wife who is now her husband.
So, now and then, I reverse, because for a few years, she would also change back and forth, so I am mostly confused... Like Jon Snow, I know nothing.
Glassunion
(10,201 posts)We were discussing the magazine cover at work.
When someone mentioned Bruce Jenner, I replied with a "he", however when mentioning the cover, I replied with a "her". For me I need to watch how the individual is framed and ignore it, if the speaker has framed it incorrectly.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,387 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)to signify the different suffixes for trans (-gender and -sexual being the two most common).
I haven't been corrected on it yet, and I've seen it written like that before.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,387 posts)spelling wildcard, I like it.
F4lconF16
(3,747 posts)Cool.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Trans-genderED vs Trans-gender.
Are both of these terms inappropriate?
NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)eggplant
(3,919 posts)You call people what they want to be called.
To do otherwise suggests that you care what's in their pants. And that's just rude.
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Voice for Peace
(13,141 posts)Lordquinton
(7,886 posts)For everyone who can't say it for themselves.
ismnotwasm
(42,030 posts)It's wrong and it's cruel and it's disgusting
SusanCalvin
(6,592 posts)That stinks. Behave better, whoever you are.