When I first started drinking I was out with my brother and we were sharing a bottle and he could see the face I made when I took a drink and finally he said go ahead and take a good one it won't hurt anymore than the little one does and you won't have to take as many

He asked me why I couldn't keep my mouth shut and do as I'm told.
I replied that "I could do that no matter how much I'm getting screwed around but there's one little problem with that"
"What's that?"
"I don't like the taste of shit"
I thought steam was going to come out his ears.