I'm sure that made Abner Louima feel all warm and fuzzy.

he hid his bigotry

Children learn early how to "play the game." I saw this with my daughter's friend, who was like a second daughter to me. I knew her brothers were growing up on the rough side of the Southern culture and I always wondered how that would affect her tolerant and sweet personality. One day I just came out and said it. "You practically grew up here and know that we're latinos so you know that the stereotypes are not right. But tell me, when you're with us you're one kind of person, but when you're with the redneck group, you fit in there too, don't you?

And she gave me a smile that told me everything I needed to know.

Human social interactions are very complicated. You don't really know someone until you see how they behave on the turf they feel most comfortable.

He still considers him a friend and doesn't think he is racist...

We really need a better education system in this country. That is all I can attribute it too. Grow up in some backwater city with crappy teachers making 20K a year will probably stunt your brain

When I was young, I thought loyalty was everything. Until I realized that "good friends" often take advantage of that friendship and abuse the kindness.

As the case proceeds he will get more information and his opinion might change.

And, yes, in backwater cities people keep things very simple. Loyalty is supposed to count for something, which is why depraved and corrupt status quos can really change people, who are otherwise good at heart.

That's why sociology always held my interest. Psychology will only explain the motives behind one person's actions. But sociology can explain why so many good people can do bad things all at one time.

...that the "friend" in the video knew that Dylann was planning to "shoot up a university" and said nothing about it to authorities.

TYY

I've learned that the hard way.

I would also add in putting them in a situation that makes them feel very good about themselves (including a position of power.) People need to be tested in order to know their true selves.

Check out this case that shows you really don't know people

If there is a danger of one person hiding their true motives, imagine when you have a network of friends and associates who support a cause that requires them to use a different face to everyone who doesn't belong to that inside circle.

Racist people won't make racist remarks around their friends of the ethnicity.

For example, I hear a lot of Asian jokes living the Bay Area. I also have a lot of Asian friends. The people who make Asian jokes never say them around these friends or talk about Asian issues at all. But once the Asian friends aren't around, it's off to the races.

Suffice to say, I don't spend a lot of time around those people. They figure, since I'm white, I'm fine with that commentary.

Not really, no.

Do you not tell them?

You should know by now that most people make assumptions about you because of the way you look. We cannot do much about that unless we want to wear bumper stickers or tattoo ourselves with political slogans.

For instance, I am an old WASP guy. I sometimes have jobs at country clubs and it is common for the golfers there to assume I am a Republican with an attitude toward the 47 percent that Romney mentioned. Of course, since I am working I cannot tell them to go stick it. But I do not associate with them any more than I have to--as the previous poster mentioned in his situation.

I disagree entirely. Any time someone makes a racist comment, you can absolutely do a lot about it, without telling someone to "stick it." Just avoiding someone without telling them why does nothing.

It doesn't happen. Most of the time it is not worth the effort and ends up being a feel good exercise in futility. There are other more effective avenues to put one's energy into.

When I do it, I do so with the goal of changing that person's behavior around me. It may also change the minds of bystanders, or at least make them think. Letting it go is tacit approval, and I won't be a part of that.

What other effective avenues do you put your energy into instead?

Phrases like, "Now now" or "That's not ok." I don't get in their faces about it, but I make my displeasure known. These are nominally friends or friends of friends, and I'm not very much into creating or being around drama in social circles.

Work is different. If I hear anything even slightly bigoted at work, I shut that shit down.

What's really weird is that they know many of the men I've dated are Asian, so why on earth they think I'm on board with them is beyond me.

But being white, there's is a kind of an implicit assumption of my racism. A black friend might make an Asian or Latino joke around me, a Latino friend will make a Black or Asian joke. My asian friends like white people jokes, which I don't really care about. I'm usually the first to make fun of my whiteness.

And, of course, we all make gay jokes about ourselves.

People are weird.

I'm not trying to nail you to the wall, really. It just seems to me that when white people ask what they can do about racism, creating drama in social circles might have to be part of the work.

I'm a shy, quiet type in person and very conflict averse in interpersonal social relationships. Work is different. It's social services, and there I have my crusader hat on. But with friends. You start a fight with one friend who tells other friends, then people take sides, and then there's a lot of talking and arguing and texting, etc. etc. etc.

You're 100% correct that I probably should be more forceful about these things socially, but it's so common among people (of every ethnicity), that picking a fight hardly seems worth it.

Black on the outside...

...to put "friend" in quotes.

TYY

I watched it obviously before I posted it...IE my meter went through the roof

and I doubt Roof said anything remotely close to his manifesto to his friend.

This is hardly a WTF moment, but a human nature moment. As another poster wrote above, sociology is fascinating.