General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA thread for DUers that are MIA
I got an e-mail requesting aid for 'torchthewitch' tonight and it got me thinking about those members of DU that haven't been seen or heard from in such a long while
I am fortunate to be able to help a bit
But, it got me thinking about Bobolink who I haven't seen in several years
So this thread is for those DUers who have disappeared, gone away, whatever, without letting us know they were gone (i.e. no I'm leaving thread)
I hope that Bobolink is okay.
I hope torch is as well, but at least I know she is still around
Please feel free to share a DUers who has gone away and you're uncertain what happened to them maybe there is someone who has kept in touch
I think about Bobolink from time-to-time.
as a request, if you feel the need to say something nasty or mean spirited about people that disappeared -- save it for your own post
silvershadow
(10,336 posts)I started a thread similar to this several days ago. The missing DU'ers are probably in MIRT jail, or otherwise Brock-blocked. Probably caught a review after being trolled, or being otherwise alerted on and catching bad juries. I just went through this myself. Was MIA for 4 days. I was a lucky survivor.
brer cat
(24,662 posts)which you are trivializing as well as making about you. We have lost touch with members who were having extreme personal difficulties and people are concerned about their well being and survival. If you think someone dropping off our radar when they are homeless and/or possibly suicidal is equivalent to your "MIA for 4 days", you need to rethink your connection to humanity.
silvershadow
(10,336 posts)threads over the last many days and weeks-again, I apologize. How can I distinguish them? My brother died by his own hand on Jan 2, 2008- and ripped a hole in my soul. Please tell me how to distinguish a MIA thread relating to homeless an suicidal without prior reference- I am also organizing a Suicide Walk in the fall and might find it useful to watch for them more carefully.
brer cat
(24,662 posts)Suicide of a loved one must be one of the hardest circumstances to deal with. "Ripped a hole in the soul" conveys the feeling well to those of us who have not experienced such a loss.
I thought it was obvious the OP was talking about people who disappeared without explanation, not those banned or on time-out. Maybe it is a difference in mind set...if you are thinking about friends who have been banned vs. knowing about those with real problems.
silvershadow
(10,336 posts)dreamnightwind
(4,775 posts)silvershadow
(10,336 posts)during my hiatus.
rpannier
(24,350 posts)I know that some people went there, but at least I can find some of them
I do worry about Bobolink a lot because I know she was really struggling and then she was gone
I wish I knew how to reach her because it bothers me a lot
silvershadow
(10,336 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Of course there were issues, and many of us would be uncomfortable with, but there were people in real life reaching out to her. I haven't heard anything for a couple years.
I too, hope that she is doing ok.
rpannier
(24,350 posts)I wonder if she thinks about DU at all or if it's even an interest
In really bad times, this place can be a great place and it can be a cruel, obnoxious place
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)rpannier
(24,350 posts)I share your concern
femmocrat
(28,394 posts)Antiquie has not posted since Nov. 14.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)someday.
DLevine
(1,788 posts)Duckhunter935
(16,974 posts)rpannier
(24,350 posts)I miss Magistrate as well
on edit: Even though Magistrate locked a few of my posts
I do miss him
Renew Deal
(81,900 posts)So I'm assuming he left on his own.
mopinko
(70,388 posts)greatauntoftriplets
(175,776 posts)sinkingfeeling
(51,498 posts)ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)ProfessorGAC
(65,427 posts). . .i miss him as well.
msanthrope
(37,549 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)We could use a little of his famous wisdom right about now.
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)are posted they attract a lot of nasty sarcasm.
Orrex
(63,291 posts)what's the goal?
Orrex
(63,291 posts)In broad terms, there are two categories of GBCW posts:
1. Sincere farewells from people whose circumstances require them to leave, whether it be health- or family- or job-related. These DUers post to explain their subsequent absence so that people won't worry about them disappearing suddenly. Such messages are usually well-received, with words of encouragement and a standing invitation to return when conditions permit. Sarcastic responses in threads of this kind are rare and are often sharply criticized for their rudeness in that context.
2. Petulant door-slamming from someone with an axe to grind. GBCW messages of this kind are chock full of criticisms about DU, its structure, the membership in general, unnamed members in particular, the jury system, the culture, etc. They cite old grudges or complaints about how the atmosphere has gotten so toxic that it's not worth the effort, and so on. These often come across as solicitations for (and wind up becoming) ego-massaging love-fests from the GBCW DUer's fan club ("Don't go!" "You're better than that!" "Don't let the haters win!" "Don't give into the purge!" "DU will be worse without you!" and the like), and as such they also elicit a bunch of snarky "don't let the door hit you" responses. This is the popular format for serial GBCW-ers who soak up the praise upon exit and then soak up the praise again upon their return.
In short, a GBCW post garners exactly the kind of response that befits the post and the departing member's history. A positive member exiting on a positive note will typically receive a positive and supportive goodbye, while a polarizing DUer who uses the GBCW post for one (temporarily) final gripe-fest will receive a polarized response.
rpannier
(24,350 posts)You all suck so I'm leaving
I see them periodically
and as I said, I'm concerned about people who just disappear and we don't know why or what happened to them
rpannier
(24,350 posts)but at least I know they left
with some it leaves me wondering whatever happened to them and if something awful occurred and...
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)barbtries
(28,824 posts)and hope she landed on her feet...and random thoughts, i believe he owes me a beer.
Be nice if Bobolink would show up to give it to you
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...he didn't get those things. At least not at DU.
pintobean
(18,101 posts)I'm sure you miss him.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)pintobean
(18,101 posts)Last edited Mon May 2, 2016, 12:56 PM - Edit history (1)
try to figure out how I added another three minutes in the edit history for that post.
Eta - here's the post I replied to, before edits:
Response to pintobean (Reply #69)
ChisolmTrailDem This message was self-deleted by its author.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)pintobean
(18,101 posts)is the usual excuse. I'd go with that.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)Response to ChisolmTrailDem (Reply #73)
pintobean Message auto-removed
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...how is it that you just responded to my post here:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1251&pid=1881640
...which was locked months ago?
And why are you messing around with a post I made in January? What did you post there just moments ago that you then immediately deleted?
Are you investigating me, or what?
Jesus Malverde
(10,274 posts)ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...to know how that poster was able to respond to a months-old hidden post of mine. And I'd really like to know why he was there looking at that post in the first place, so far removed in time and from this particular sub-thread.
But, alas, the poster is uncharacteristically mum on this particular question. Not even a snark. I suspect there's more to that poster than meets the eye.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...months ago?
Or will you offer me an explanation as to what it is you're doing?
Your call...
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)pintobean
(18,101 posts)barbtries
(28,824 posts)Scuba
(53,475 posts)Orrex
(63,291 posts)Or I would if he ever got around to leaving, that big stinker.
rpannier
(24,350 posts)marble falls
(57,540 posts)rpannier
(24,350 posts)Though I am donating 25 bucks in their name (DU name that is) to her cause
marble falls
(57,540 posts)demmiblue
(36,920 posts)I think they both just had enough of the direction DU was/is heading.
countingbluecars
(4,766 posts)I wonder what she is up to these days.
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)even though we are not friends there, we have common friends, since we are both in Kansas, and I am friends (sort of) with many of the Kansas legislators. Not sure if she is still active with the progressive caucus as I stopped going to the conventions when Topeka became hostile to my dogs.
MuseRider
(34,140 posts)She is involved in more things than I even know about.
I saw her a month ago? It was an early morning meeting so there was just time for a quick HI and a hug. She is well.
Topeka was hostile to your dogs? I don't need to know more, Topeka is hostile to everyone and everything. I am so glad that I was able to move far enough away to drop that part of my address, that and the 666 on the front of the zip code!
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)and even ones that do not have laws have groups of busybodies. Topeka does not allow you to keep your dogs in your car which I think is a very hostile law. It basically means you cannot take your dog for a car ride in Topeka. Well, unless you just want to go driving around and not stop anywhere. If you cannot leave them in the car, that means you cannot take them when you go grocery shopping, or to the hardware store, or wherever. Well, I am not driving to Washington Days without taking my dogs.
Lawrence is worse though. It did not learn about their anti dog law until I went to the grand opening of the Douglas County Democratic headquarters and got a ticket. And to think I used to love that city.
MuseRider
(34,140 posts)there might be a way to get people together to find places for them. I would have to run this by my husband but we could certainly take your dogs in for a day or two if you do the overnight. I could send you references from people who know us and our animals. Our Standard poodles are about the sweetest dogs I have ever known, they just love every creature (even the ones they like to eat like moles ewww). I will bring this up to Tom W. He should be back here at my house when the legislature gets shoved back to finish the job. No budget? The schools? They will have to be back. I would imagine there are lots of people like you who would love to be there but can't because of pets. I have to say I agree with those laws but not because I think everyone is a moron who would leave their pets in the car to perish I just think there are so many of those morons these days who either don't know or don't care that the law had to be made. YMMV
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)dreamnightwind
(4,775 posts)I thought she was one of the best posters DU had, miss that one very much. Anyone have any light to shed on what happened there?
CoffeeCat
(24,411 posts)She is doing well and still speaks out frequently on a wide variety of issues.
dreamnightwind
(4,775 posts)I don't do Facebook (yet), a holdout, lol. If I join I will look her up, does she go by EFerrari?
CoffeeCat
(24,411 posts)dreamnightwind
(4,775 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)We haven't communicated, though we were quite friendly here, but I tend to pass on all of her Tweets.
dreamnightwind
(4,775 posts)suffragette
(12,232 posts)Great posters.
Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)We could use a little of his humor, too...
Agnosticsherbet
(11,619 posts)or busy with life,
or simply moved on.
Your absence is noticed,
Return when you can.
brer cat
(24,662 posts)when she dropped out here. Her situation was dire: she was living in her car and very low on money with little hope of improving her situation. She was losing the support of friends and groups that helped her in the past.
Bobolink was a passionate voice for the homeless and those in need of medical/mental health services. One of the most painful lessons I learned from her was of the total loss of dignity that came from being in her situation, and how some people chose to walk away from the "solutions" we as a society offer rather than give up the last shred of their control over their lives. The inadequacy of our society to deal with people requiring understanding and empathy along with meeting basic housing needs and health services is unacceptable, but solving it is very complex.
I pray that she found an acceptable safety net somewhere. We all needed the experience she brought to our discussions, because almost none of us will ever know that total devastation.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)redstatebluegirl
(12,265 posts)I knew from her posts that there were issues I didn't know how dire they were. I'm not here every day so I miss some things. I had noticed she was missing from here and hoped she was ok.
The richest nation in the world and we can't even take care of our own, so sad.
Javaman
(62,540 posts)we would PM from time to time.
then she just vanished.
I still think about her from time to time and hope she is okay.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...library internet access. No reason for that not to continue that I can imagine.
rpannier
(24,350 posts)She just disappeared
Which makes me worry about the worst
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)MuseRider
(34,140 posts)My brother has done the living in his car thing off and on. He is getting ready to do it again. He earned enough money before he was unemployable and saved enough to be able to come inside with a nasty apartment, with no furniture every winter. Then back out. He will not tell me where he is when he does that. He will take no more help even from me. It killed him to be treated the way most places treated him. I hope she is not in that last straw kind of place.
Cary
(11,746 posts)I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be here especially if they love the Democratic Party.
AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)But incivility in general on the Interwebs is SOP anymore, and DU is not immune.
Dragonfli
(10,622 posts)At that time she had lost her car, some bullshit about illegal parking, but really about rousting the poor and homeless out of sight and mind IMO, and not being able to afford to bail it out. (for those that don't know she lived in her car).
I have not been able to reach her by email since, and as many know, she feared people here knowing her exact location because a DUer once gave her a hard time under the guise of helping her but wanting to know way to many personal details for bobbie's comfort zone. I will not name names, but suffice it to say, it was one of the types of liberals that drive expensive cars and look down on others. Long timers here will know who/what I mean.
Well, after she stopped posting, I had always been ale to reach Bobbie by email before I abruptly wasn't, I fear she is a nameless victim of poverty no longer with us. . I know her name but will not repeat it here in case (hopefully) I am wrong and she is OK. She would not be fine with my revealing such full detail about her identity.
I understand very few here understand some things that I do, perhaps a few social workers, and less likely a much smaller number like myself that have lived homeless for extended periods of time, I will tell you why she was not dealt with properly, none of us when homeless ever feel very safe, we feel vulnerable (and truly are) extremely vulnerable while homeless. One also dos not enjoy excessively micromanaged pretenses of help, or even real help excessively intrusive and/or micromanaged, it raises suspicions, we are, or I can at least say now say used to, be prey in a very lonely jungle full of scammers, joy bashers (physical bashing) and predators of all stripes, many pretending to be one's friend.
This encounter with a DUer was what drove her away from posting here. we communicated by email from time to time until she lost her car. Now i'd lay odds she's dead.
In future be careful to treat the homeless with respect and not as she was here.
It is more important that the comfortable know. Homeless human beings are vulnerable, often worried (for good reason) people and they prefer to be talked to as they are, equal and fully human fellow travelers.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)rpannier
(24,350 posts)I have been afraid that she might not have made it
But, I still hold out hope
Hearing from someone she trusts/trusted enough to stay in contact with and then suddenly vanish makes my worst fears seem more probable
I'll be honest, our first encounter on DU is something I am not proud of and, I think and hope she does/did as well, I tried hard to make amends for writing something so stupid
She commented to something I wrote about how great the economy was in the 90's.
She said she didn't do well in the 90's
and I made some jack ass post like, "Well, you were in a small number then."
That was back when after 10 minutes your post was glued there unless a mod pulled it
She saw it and was offended and (I think) hurt by my dismissiveness
I apologized several times.
She explained how difficult the 90's were for her (no great detail, just enough so I'd have some understanding)
I felt so badly for everything
The closest I could come was being without electricity for 4 months in the summer and no heat in sub zero temperatures for three weeks in the winter because I couldn't pay the bill
But that was temporary and I had a roof over my head.
It wasn't the same as what she went through
I commented on a few of her posts trying to be supportive and then she was gone
I don't know why but there was an empty feeling like something bad had happened and I couldn't help
I hoped she'd come back
It may sound stupid or melodramatic, but she was one of the few truly genuine people I saw on the site and I grew a lot from my few interactions with her
I hope you're wrong and that she's out there and just decided DU wasn't worth it any more
dreamnightwind
(4,775 posts)hfojvt
(37,573 posts)if you google a person's name and city often you will find an obituary for a deceased person.
Although her situation is such that a) she could die as a Jane Doe or b) not have an obituary anyway.
me b zola
(19,053 posts)...and then disappear from DU.
I can tell you from my experience, when my world fell apart and when so many people abandoned me I began to just walk away from the people who were still with me. The feeling of being detached feeds on itself.
Wishing our struggling members all the best
mopinko
(70,388 posts)miss his pics.
Anyone know what happened to Swamp Rar?
Haven't heard anything from them in years. They were so talented.
thereismore
(13,326 posts)U4ikLefty
(4,012 posts)This place could use a dose Swamp Rat's artwork.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...for their treatment of bobolink but she (and he, allowed to return from a ban) stuck around for awhile after that. And then she seemed to have dissappeared (though perhaps she announced her departure and I simply missed it).
I also often wonder about her and how she's getting along.
greatauntoftriplets
(175,776 posts)I know that she was ill. She always brightened the place.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)G_j
(40,372 posts)..years ago
Jim Lane
(11,175 posts)I guess she put a lot of effort into helping newbies feel welcome.
Maeve
(42,312 posts)We were moderating buds and she kept an eye out for any newbies to welcome them (and make sure they were legit!)
Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)I'd never been on any sort of message board before and was a little freaked out at getting such a prompt reply, but her warm welcome is likely the main reason I stayed.
Kang Colby
(1,941 posts)I can't say I appreciated his posts, but by golly they were entertaining.
Of course, Tangerine LaBamba (RIP) was fantastic.
NanceGreggs
(27,821 posts)... from time to time. He seems to be well, and happy with his life.
And yes, he was entertaining.
Gidney N Cloyd
(19,847 posts)Bayard
(22,241 posts)I'm not trying to make this about me, but I used to be on DU several years ago as Doodadem. Then ended up with major health problems, and while in intensive care in the hospital, my ex (married 30 years) took off with everything I owned. I lost my farm, filed bankruptcy, evicted, lost many friends. Lost my computer. That was all in Calif.
Now back in Kentucky, and relatively happy. I'll never forget, and will be eternally grateful to, the DU'er who bought me a plane ticket back then to come back for my Dad's funeral.
I'm just saying, people that disappear from here sometimes have a lot bigger fish to fry. I hope Bobolink comes back.
nemo137
(3,297 posts)I was gone for about 4-5 years, and it's good seeing these names, and knowing that DU means something to other folks, as well.
Seems like forever we've been missing Swamp Rat!
Apoeared to be devastated by the experiences surrounding Katrina.
femmocrat
(28,394 posts)We never heard from him after his illness and he did not answer my email. I hope he has recovered and is healthy now.
Also Thom Cat. Someone was looking for him awhile back and I don't remember if anyone knew what happened to him. He also had health problems.
bluesbassman
(19,387 posts)MuseRider
(34,140 posts)He seemed to be doing better He is one of the handful of DUers I have met. What a great guy and smart as can be. **talking about ThomCat**
femmocrat
(28,394 posts)Thank you, bluesbassman!
Egnever
(21,506 posts)Good lord. That grifter has no shame.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)Aristus
(66,530 posts)They've been MIA for years. I'm sure there are a lot of long-time DU-ers who miss them. I sure do...
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)She was fun.
Aristus
(66,530 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)rpannier
(24,350 posts)I do remember him
Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)I know that he wasn't well, wish we could know that he's okay...
bluesbassman
(19,387 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)I think of him often and have checked to see if he's posted. Please tell him that Rhiannon was asking for him and hoping he's doing well. I met him in 2007 when he came north for Rachel's meetup...
bluesbassman
(19,387 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)He's one of the few DUers I've met in real life, not too many of us in NE NY, but I've really liked every single one of them. I got to spend a little more time with him the next day since I lived close enough to stop by Rachel's before he left. He really hit it off with Rachel's little dog. There was a thread on DU.2, with photos, mostly of Thom and the puppy.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)I've been to a few meetups around here, four, I think, LOL, not too many of us liberals in this neck-of-the-woods, which made it even more special. Thom was the guest of honor since he came all this way, and it was such a pleasure to meet him. Any chance you'll make it up this way in the future??
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,869 posts)2005, if I recall correctly...
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)This year I don't think there will be distractions. I'm staying close to home. Day trips only. As long as I don't drive up during Americade it should be an easy drive.
bluesbassman
(19,387 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)bluesbassman
(19,387 posts)Needed a little breather and am easing back in. Pancakes will be hot off the griddle in a minute.
closeupready
(29,503 posts)Odin2005
(53,521 posts)Squinch
(51,090 posts)greatauntoftriplets
(175,776 posts)Also pinto, who died last September.
kentauros
(29,414 posts)You've got host services to mind
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)and I think he is a distant cousin.
Also Time For Change, southlandshari, Forrest Gump, and Kleeb and Revolutionary Acts 04 (my sister (as I called her since we joined DU on the same date, that made us twins)) and Rev. Cheesehead.
kentauros
(29,414 posts)He disappeared not long after we started the group. No more posts, anywhere on DU. His last post was over two years ago: Thu Jan 30, 2014, 01:42 PM
grantcart profile
If you can contact him, let us know how he's doing. And if he's coming back. I always enjoyed chatting with him
Laura PourMeADrink
(42,770 posts)on personal email that you had replies? or was it that you had a message in inbox?
I always liked Grant Cart - could have sworn he had written not too long ago - guess not.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,831 posts)She regularly posts photos of her cats and her garden.
I am amazed at her energy!
Pastiche423
(15,406 posts)are who I miss.
Bonobo
(29,257 posts)AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)She was here almost from the start. Funny, astute, and a spot-on poster. She is the main reason I'm here and is one of the best from the old days.
trumad
(41,692 posts)but I miss him.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Kingofalldems
(38,514 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)I remember he said he'd gotten a "real" job and didn't have time for DU anymore.
Maeve
(42,312 posts)A friend
Response to Maeve (Reply #136)
Name removed Message auto-removed
Maeve
(42,312 posts)Who complained mightily about taking care of a feral "rotten cat", but worried when it didn't show for several days.
Response to Maeve (Reply #151)
Name removed Message auto-removed
closeupready
(29,503 posts)HelloKitty, Swamp Rat, Rowdyboy, ... this would take a while, but yes, too many.
And then there are those who persist here, with ZERO social skills. Funny how that works. Anyway...
shanti
(21,675 posts)I enjoyed her posts. It looks like her last post was in 2013...
Jesus Malverde
(10,274 posts)http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025285596
Think of you sometimes, hope your free and living light.
Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)fizzgig
(24,146 posts)i see heidi once in a blue moon but can't remember the last time i saw gray. she was such a hoot.