A former colleague's memorial was yesterday. She wrote her own incredible eulogy.

Her husband posted it on Facebook today.

As some may know, after Peg passed away I went back to her office to turn off her computer. Up on the screen was the last document she'd been working on, her "auto-eulogy." While it was bitter-sweet to see this, it wasn't a surprise. She told me she was working on it and gave me firm instructions, it was to be read at her funeral or memorial, that no changes could be made to it, and that I was not allowed to be the one to read it.

Peg's memorial service was held on Saturday, May 7th. Peg's longtime beloved friend, NPR reporter Rob Stein channeled Peg as he read her last words. Below is what Peg wrote as she wrote it. There may be a few typos, or phrases that still needed some work, so please don't judge her, the deadline got moved up before she could put a final polish on it.

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There’s a common saying that, on their deathbed, no one says “I wish I had spent more time at work.” I’m an exception to that: a central tragedy in my life is that I couldn’t work longer, if only to convince someone I was right about something. (pause for chuckling). I also wish I had divided my life to spend more time with my family, especially Beth, Helen, Irv, Natalie, Lianna and Annie, whom I order around and love like a niece. Well, maybe not much more time with my parents. (chuckle here). And my friends, including the myriad of best friends, you all know who you are. And you’ve all been the best of friends to me, especially in the last xx years.

OK, now that’s over with, I’m taking a few minutes when you have to listen to me. I’m only sorry I couldn’t be there for your rapt attention and adherence to my advice. Here we go:

1. For folks with Stage 0 or less cancers, especially DCIS and prostate, watch and wait. I understand, I was one of those people who says “Get it out of me.” Please resist that temptation. At least half (CK) of these don’t go on to become invasive cancers, why should you do all kinds of bad things to your body unnecessarily. And, by the way, it costs waaaay too much.

If you are one of those people who can’t resist the call of the surgeon, do not get a lumpectomy, a.k.a. “breast conserving” surgery. I can tell you that from personal and observational experience, IT DOESN’T CONSERVE the breast. After the surgery, which often has to be twice to get clean margins, there is the whole nightmare of radiation, which shrinks tissue and makes for painful inner scarring. Anecdotal evidence is only meaningful if it involves me, Peggy Girshman. Otherwise, trust the scientific method. Especially when it comes to what you put in your body. OK, I know there’s a lot of eye-rolling out there right now. Setting aside my own body (oh yeah, it really is set aside now) Everyone

2. Biggest mistake of my life was to do that. And there are a lot of mistakes to choose from. If I only convince one of you to at least convince one other person, I’ve accomplished something. I know, I’ve done so much good work blah blah blah. But even one person not having surgery would be the crowning achievement of my life. I am not kidding.

3. Let’s talk a little about evidence. If you get nothing else from this memorial service, please think about evidence, truth as best it can be determined. Anecdotal evidence is only meaningful if it involves me, Peggy Girshman. Otherwise, trust the scientific method, where similar groups are compared. With large sample sizes, if possible. Especially when it comes to what you put in your body for medicinal reasons. Why would you take anything that hasn’t been proved to work? Belief is powerful. The placebo effect exists.

4. While we’re at it, please stop with the lifestyle advice. Don’t hock people about what they’re eating, how much or when. Yes, if you eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and cut down on fat, you have lowered the chances you’ll get cancer or heart disease. But that is just one of so many factors that to judge people about their quantity of fruits and vegetables is simply unfair. Don’t ask, if someone has lung cancer, if they smoked. Try really, really hard not to even think it

in your head. It shows, believe me. It adds pain to an already painful, scary time. Try to convince yourself that people get sick for so many reasons that we don’t know about. One little mutation in one little cell. Two people eating the same amount of sugar or carbs every day for years: one might develop diabetes and the other doesn’t. Please don’t examine what one person eating to cast disapproval in your head while the other one gets a pass. When 10 studies can’t find any connection between x and y, please believe it. Don’t think about your friend or even yourself where it seemed to go the other way. Of COURSE it sometimes goes the other way, but why wouldn’t you want to live your life based on your friend (who is lovely but might have another claim next week

Don’t say “I don’t know how you can find anything in your office/house/car.” In other words, wow, you’re a slob. Yes, I’m messy, what do you care? Neat, vegetable-eating people are not morally superior to anyone else.

5. Be nice to people. Sounds really corny and pedestrian, but it’s how I managed to succeed at work, no shit.

6. Always make sure there are cookies or something tasty to eat at any in-person meeting. As there should be, right now, in the back. You’ll get to them very soon, I promise. After this:

Finally, I want to give a shout out to Mitch Berger. One of our many ongoing contretemps was that I didn’t mention his name when I collected an Emmy in 1996 for the team of us that did an hour magazine show called “Killer Virus.” He wasn’t in the audience. I didn’t know anyone there except for the 3 people I came with. It wasn’t televised or recorded. This was pre-Internet. I maintain, ‘til literally my dying day, that there’s no point in thanking your spouse when a) he’s not there; and b) no one in the audience has a clue. I thought it was more important to thank the folks on the whole team, which I botched anyway. But now, Mitch, though I’m not standing here with a heavy cheesy statuette, I’m giving you a giant thank you in front of all these people. It will have to do. We’ll always have Paris and Indonesia and Hawaii and Franklin BBQ and too many movie theatres to count. I love you for the way you put so much respect, love and meaning into my life. Thank you sweetie.