The DUzy Awards for Friday, June 8, 2012 - Part 1

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly delivery of humor of the writing and graphic sort! From the same website that brings you “Your Sunday LOL Cats”, “The Best of DU Hate Mail”, and whatever idiocy Free Republic is spewing!


How it works:

You see a funny post and you want to put it in contention. Great! Send a private-message to “The DUzy Awards” and include a link to the original post and the # of the reply you want to nominate, and then copy-and-paste the OP and the nominated post into the message. That’s in case of a self-deletion or an edit or something.

If a member’s name is in [font color=#800080]purple text[/font], then that member has won a DUzy for the week.

If text is in [font color=#FF0000]red italicized text[/font] that’s a comment from me.

All past DU3 DUzies are in this account’s Journal for your enjoyment. If you want the older ones, go find JeffR’s Journal on DU2… if you can!!! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!




[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by NightWatcher
[big] Thoughts on what Death is like?[/big]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] hay rick [/font]
[big] 2. If you were evil you spend eternity in Meta-discussion. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] ManyShadesOf [/font]
[big] 5. some prepare by spending their lives [/big]
Meta-tating
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] hay rick [/font]
[big] 6. OmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMG. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Wait Wut [/font]
[big] 12. I just finished watching All That Jazz. [/big]
Death has lots of music and dancing. It's better than that whole white tunnel thing. I'm claustrophobic, Heaven or Hell...tunnels are just bad.

The Lounge, 1 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018126207


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by The DUzy Awards
[big] The DUzy Awards for Friday, June 1st, 2012[/big]

<massive snip>

Thanks to: Make7, UnrepentantLiberal, beac, Scuba, LiberalAndProud, scarletwoman, Vanje, dixiegrrrrl, rocktivity, and Mira!


Submitted for shits and giggles,
-Krispos42

[font color=#FF0000]Yeah…. I’m not going to re-post the entire friggin’ DUzy awards!!! I’m crazy, not stupid![/font]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002758525

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] grantcart [/font]
[big] 14. I get the giggles part but why do you post it for [/big]
shits?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] krispos42 [/font]
[big] 19. Depends. [/big]
I'm heavily invested in the parent company of Depends.

GD, 2 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002758525


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by trumad
[big] 30,000 feet up and heading to San Fran...... Ask me anything?[/big]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] taterguy [/font]
[big] 1. Are your arms getting tired? [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Groan.[/font]

The Lounge, 3 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018126824


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] MrScorpio [/font]
[big] There is no Zombie Apocalypse...[/big]
Zombies aren't real.

What's really going on is actually a Cannibal Holocaust.

So, my advice to all of you is to avoid going out in public covered in BBQ sauce while holding an apple in your mouth… You might just look a tad too tempting.

Those cannibals are EVERYWHERE, people!

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Initech [/font]
[big] 4. I'm betting season 3 of the Walking Dead is going to be a reality show at this point. [/big]
:zoiks:

GD, 4 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002763911


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by xchrom
[big] The Navy Thinks This New $7 Billion Ship Is The Answer To All Its Chinese Concerns[/big]
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-uss-zumwalt-ddg-1000-a-silver-bullet-of-stealth-2012-06


DDG 1000 Zumwalt has a peripheral vertical launch system (PVLS), which consists of 20 four-cell PVLS situated round the perimeter of the deck


DDG 1000 will have a 'tumblehome' hull form, in which the hull slopes inward from above the waterline

Looking a bit like an old Civil War Ironclad, the $7 billion DDG 1000 USS Zumwalt will focus on land attacks, relying heavily on its advanced stealth technology to slip in close to shore before unleashing its massive onboard arsenal.
A new take on the Zumwalt was published today by the Eric Talmadge at the Associated Press who points out that in addition to the ship's wide array of conventional weapons the Zumwalt will eventually carry the Navy's much anticipated "railgun".
The railgun is an electrically powered artillery weapon that launches massive projectiles at high speeds without the use of gunpowder or explosives. Instead, an electric current is run through the artillery shell, the current interacts with the magnetic fields in the rails and pounds the shell from the barrel.
The Navy successfully tested the railgun in February, but it has not yet been fielded for service.
The Zumwalt was originally estimated to cost about $3.8 billion, but so much technology crammed on board that its cost has nearly doubled, and after the first three are built, production will stop. Including the exhaustive research and development required by each vessel to total cost jumps to $7 billion apiece.
In addition the Zumwalt will be built to receive the Navy's new electromagnetic rail-gun that can fire projectiles at over five times the speed of sound. All this new technology adds up.


***oy -- boys and there toys.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-uss-zumwalt-ddg-1000-a-silver-bullet-of-stealth-2012-06#ixzz1wp4JVAAV

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Egalitarian Thug [/font]
[big] 16. Dear Dept. of the Navy, I'm awfully sorry about your penis, but please stop making us pay [/big]
for your feelings of inadequacy.

GD, 4 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002762210


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete
[big] Erupting Urinal Soaks House Press Gallery[/big]
Source: National Journal

Erupting Urinal Soaks House Press Gallery

By Billy House
Updated: June 4, 2012 | 6:25 p.m.
June 4, 2012 | 2:36 p.m.

A big splash occurred on Monday morning at the House Press Gallery in the U.S. Capitol.

No, this wasn’t one of those unexpected guest appearances for celebrities to talk to reporters about some favorite cause.

This splash came from an exploding urinal. More specifically, something suddenly broke in the piping of the third-floor urinal, and water began spewing from beneath the men’s room door.

As the water flowed, it first surrounded the Associated Press’s working area, then spread toward both ends of the gallery, which was occupied by fewer than usual reporters and staffers, because the House is out of session until Tuesday.

Read more: http://www.nationaljournal.com/congress/erupting-urinal-soaks-house-press-gallery-20120604

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] pinboy3niner [/font]
[big] 2. Hey, AP. Urine for a real treat! [/big]


LBN, 4 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014136082


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ohiosmith
[big] Help me out here! What kind of tree do you think this is?[/big]


[font color=#FF0000]The thread is hilarious! Everybody in there gets a DUzy!!!

[/font]

The Lounge, 5 June 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018128177


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by lonestarnot
[big] Hey you lurking freeper trolls! Doesn't it bother you that[/big]
your fucking leaders don't give a fuck about you unless you are a richie rich? I mean couldn't you use some of the money that they steal from you to buy some fucking dentures?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] oldhippydude [/font]
[big] 1. why do think they call it ..indentured servitude [/big]
something they can sink their teeth into

GD, 3 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002760342









Thanks to: Wait Wut, eridani, dixiegrrrrl, Renew Deal, jp11, Tx4obama, Make7, From The Ashes, and Matariki!!!


Sorry once again, but this is a two-parter. Hellofa busy week… two kids ballgames, a business meeting after my regular job, the Venus transit, and working on my uncle’s Subaru all conspired to rob me of any evening time!

I’ll try to hammer out a second half tomorrow!


Submitted in desperate hopes of avoiding torches and pitchforks,
-Krispos42