We were thick as thieves back in the day. We've stayed in touch in fits and starts via the computer.

Living in Tom Delay's district, though, had a deleterious effect.

Politics is off the table, by mutual consent, and these days, my once open-minded chum is astoundingly intolerant, angry and fearful. All this worrying about what the poor people are going to "get," like they're living large and in charge on a shitty welfare check.

The only thing I can figure is that these Pugs get their information from FOX. I've even asked one friend if that's what she watches for news. She says no, but then quotes them. Now, I know she listens to the radio to fall asleep and when she first wakes up. Our local radio is a FOX branch, but they rarely identify themselves other than their call letters.

Your last sentence is exactly what she worries about. She let "socialism" slip the other day and I just stared at her in disbelief. I then asked what she thought Medicare was.

I know her kids have voted for Obama, so I'm hoping they will convince her to do so, as well. I've given up. We're too old to argue.

and we just cannot talk politics or religion. I have seperated myself from all other Rethugs, including some family.

kinda hard to be friends with somebody you think is an imbecile.

I am not sure what an "association" is. Do you mean, for example, that you would have a hard time working with a bunch of volunteers to raise money for the Meals on Wheels program? They just had their fund-raiser last night here, which is why I asked that. Seems to me that there were Republicans and Democrats participating in that. I feel sure there were some conservatives there. I'd like to think there were some liberals there as well.

Oh the horror.

Or do you mean that you would have a hard time going bowling or going for a cup of coffee with a conservative and being able to have a lively, friendly, mostly unheated discussion about life, the universe and everything?

Myself, I do not do a lot of that with anybody.

I have a couple family members. They didn't used to be very vocal but they are now.

I also work with a few. But we are too busy doing our jobs to talk much politics.

I do my best to avoid any conversations that come even close to touching on anything to do with social issues, political issues or, gawd forbid, religious issues which makes any conversations very short and superficial.

Every time I go to my Mom's house, fox "news" is blaring away, and if I'm not careful, I get blindsided by a rant from either my mom or aunt. Sad to say I don't spend as much time with them as I should, but I can get called stupid, or a terrorist sympathizer only so many times. Add to that several cousins who are enthusiastic tea party members, well, I really do avoid a lot of family gatherings.

On the bright side, I think I may have converted my brother from being a quasi-liberatarian to an almost liberal.

My sister and her husband are Republicans, but my sister is starting lean toward voting for Obama. My brother-in-law and I fight all the time about Obama. He thinks Obama is a total jerk.

our tent.

On Facebook, I have a guy who's been a friend since age 9. He's an orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem with his family. A daughter is in the Israeli Air Force. I've always liked him.

Where we differ: he adores Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin. He hates Obama.

We kind of have an agreement. When we openly post our sentiments and articles, we selectively comment but never anything that's cruel, personal, insulting. I'll read how Sarah Palin is incredibly prescient and intelligent and will save this country. I usually let stuff like that go. I'll comment on something so far off the meter that comment is demanded. Again, no angry rhetoric, just thoughtful analysis (which appeals to his study of the Torah and Talmud).

As friends we agree on lots of other stuff: Crosby, Stills, & Nash, rock, travel, family.

I don't find the need to dispose of a friend, especially as he doesn't even vote in our elections despite his dual citizenship.

You have found the common ground.."thoughtful analysis"

I believe a thoughtful analysis and respectful debate would interest any adult. You are so lucky you have this special friend.


The majority of people described in this thread, are not adults. Mentally they have not fully matured. Stunted. Purposely stunted.

They have been bombarded by media to only care about self. In order to "be" you must have this shiny object, or this thingamagig. To "Be" somebody, you just HAVE TO HAVE IT!

Then they have that same media, telling them, someone is gonna take it away. Going to take it all away, you'll "be" nothing. Have nothing.

Now think, how would a child react? How are the the conservatives reacting? Would any adult react the way Jean Schmidt?

Republicans at the local watering hole. Even they can't believe how far off the map their party has wandered. One of them says he will be voting for Obama because he's afraid of what the Mittens will do to the country. Most of the discussions are pretty mellow.

The loudest, craziest, bar clearing people are the Libertarians.

have any friends at all. It's a red county afterall. It is not without casualty.

Among my closest friends, in the last month, I have had to correct them when they used terms such as "chink" or "loud-mouth Jew" in reference to Debbie Wasserman Schultz. They know my politics and it still slips from their mouth.

So, in sum, do not underestimate the prejudice that pushes their politics and opinions. Not ever. Because, if this is how my Repub friends would talk to me in front of my face, imagine what the others are thinking.

They only care about creating an artificial hierarchy where they land on top, and right now the ones that seem to think they have the power to make community decisions that are over the top (think fraud and conspiracy) are ex-military. The worst are ex-officers. Toxic leaders have to retire somewhere, and they appear to be making a beachhead in my neighborhood.

Just saying.

If those are among your closest friends, it's time to move.

I would rather have no friends than those friends.

You would probably move out, and that doesn't advance our cause, does it?

people throw the term "friend" around far too flippantly. There is a huge diffence between a friend and an aquaintance. I will not be friends with racists and homophobes who want to do nothing but piss on people in need. Like it or not, that sentence describes 99.9% of republicans in Texas. I do not want their friendship- I may have to tolerate the asshats at work and outside my house, but I do not have to like them one iota. As to advancing our cause- you cannot advance a cause with people who cannot or will not be reasoned with.

They are crooked. As soon as we get to measure them with the same measuring stick that they apply to others, the tables will turn.

It's easy for all of you to make snappy decisions, but the reality is a lot more complicated.

Frankly, there are people here who would love to see me high-tail it out of this community, and because of that I will stay to fight. The situation isn't going to get better if we allow white islands to continue creating separate and unequal groups within their own community.

When my friends on this non-political list realized I was against the invasion, most of them left the list. I was as if I had spat at heaven or something. Sad.

get into politics with them though they know where I stand because of my FB rantings and post.
Anyway, the husband is one of those life is good and if it isn't it's because you made poor choices or just didn't work hard enough. You know the type.
We were walking the dogs together and the house next door to me was taken over by the bank. We were discussing how the original owner could lose it since it is a nice ranch, in a nice area, and he had been there for 30 years. My winger neighbor thought that maybe it was left over medical debt from when the guys wife got colon cancer and died. I said that was probably it and went on to say that those kind of things should end now that there will be the removal of coverage caps by the insurance industry. I could see I shook him. He is totally anti Obama and the ACA whether he read it or not and I expect he hadn't. You could see that he was befuddled because the removal of caps was a good thing. Then he recovered and said Yeah, but what are my premiums going to cost me? I said let's cross that bridge when we get to it without making up worse case scenarios.
Makes me crazy, the bottom line, whether good or bad, is what's it going to cost me. Trust me, whatever it is he can afford it.

That, in a nutshell is what they fear and how they think. The whole Republican agenda is me, me, me. They never look at what is best for the whole country. Remember when JFK said, and I may mess up the quote but the message is there, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"? That was the way of thinking until Reagan ask, "Are you better off than you were four years ago?". The conversation and mentality shifted from us as a country to me as an individual. It's really sad what the Republicans have done to our country.

and answering NO separates us from half the population. Isolation and moral superiority are not a path to political and economic justice.

Politics isn't a common interest that is likely to make me friends with someone.

Germans in the 30's used to blame their lot in life on "those" people, too. Of course, then it was the Jews.

is his christian duty. He just happens to be dead wrong on a lot of things, but is not a meanspirited person, unlike the guy I dated for several years recently.

We joke about it. I wouldn't marry someone like him, but he can be my friend.

Most are closed minded Limbaugh-zombies. There are a small few who will put aside politics but not many.

It's easy enough to agree not to talk politics. The problem is that the values behind being republican are so interwoven into every thought, they can't separate it out and I'm unwilling to let the never ending racist/sexist comments go as if I am on board with that.

With my last republican friend, stories about a person always seemed to start with an offensive slur tossed out so casually he wasn't even aware of it. Or he'd be talking about how he'd never want to live in a particular neighborhood because (insert group of people) always trash the area they live in. And he'd be saying this while throwing his cigarette butts on the ground like the entire world is his personal ashtray. At some point politics (for him? for me?) stopped being a conversation topic and turned into a way of living and thinking.

It is in every fiber of their bodies, like some insidious cancer

Acquaintances and people to socialize with to a limited extent. But we have an interest in politics, and these are people who generally can't discuss it intelligently. So we stay away from the subject. That is a big interest not to share.

There probably are some Republicans who would be of help on personal matters, or you could confide in on personal stuff, and vice versa. But then they'd lack tolerance, or some would, on personal issues, too. Like tell you what you should do per their religion and not really hear you out.

I'm sorry anyone who favors higher taxes on the rich and Germany's co-determination model probably doesn't belong in today's Republican party.

and I've given up trying.

They're out to take away everything I've worked for in my retirement years.

Screw them all, and that includes relatives, too.

"I think Sarah Palin is a very intelligent and strong woman." had to be the one that took the cake but still i tried to persevere. Eventually, i couldn't sever ties fast enough. From one in particular, such vitriolic hate of anyone that wasn't in her bubble and a lot of venom even for those that were, all the while spouting off the virtues of God's mercy and love... UGH!!!

after 20 years in the Navy you can't help but get very close to Republicans and their families. War forges bonds that are damn near indestructible.

met while volunteering at the Obama campaign office prior to his election. So I don't really have that problem.

I've had some good conversations with those willing to listen to different ideas and I get some insight as to why they hold the views they do. Living in a red state, if I didn't have some Republican friends, I would have few friends at all.

A lot of good comments so far. Strange thing is that decades ago I used to be more conservative then them ( in relative terms ) mostly due to the fact they always voted Democratic and were more or less single issue labor/working class voters that held their noses to the more socially liberal causes. I largely agreed with them but was never a single issue voter and often voted for Republicans. ( I know, I know, don't laugh ) It should be noted that I was, and am, very much more well read than they.

Now one of them is retired, reasonably financially secure and moved to a small rural town. He's since become more or less a "God & Guns" conservative. ( he was indifferent to guns and religion before ) Still very unread ( despite being VERY intelligent....that's what ego and a hyper-competitive nature will do to somebody ) and gets his information via talking heads on cable news. Can't tell him anything because he's so much smarter than everybody It's amusing for him to try to sound knowledgeable and objective by paraphrasing the same trite talking points of Fox and CNN.

Other one is equally unread, gets his information from 20 minutes doses of spoonfed garbage from cable news a day. Always a short tempered type, has become even more so and is now pretty much the type that doesn't like "them" ( anybody other than christian whites ) A big fan of Sarah Palin. Slap-ably ignorant and it's not even funny to see him try to sound knowledgeable and objective by spouting right wing talking point word-salad, often out of context and just plain factually wrong ( I mean, not an issue of opinion )

This change began to occur, surprise surprise, when our president got elected. We seldom talked politics before, and I try my damndest to steer every conversation away from politics, but they just can't resist spouting their BS. It's a sad thing to know that these are my best friends but they are becoming nasty types I don't care for.

I was never one to really go on rants about politics until recently I was interested and I voted tried to always vote for the best person. Living in Minnesota that seemed rather easy there are or were good people on both sides. But, that has drastically changed Republicans in this state have robbed from children to pay the rich, they took the education fund to cover the budget gap and made some cuts to services for poor people. I was seriously scared Emmer was going to end up being the Governor and ruin this state, but Dayton won by the skin of his teeth and is fixing the mess ups that Pawlenty left behind and is keeping the worst tendencies of Republicans at bay.

What got me to see how nuts Republicans are is their attacks on Obama, I didn't really like him much as a candidate I saw him as marginally better than McCain. I wasn't really paying attention though, I was seriously ill during most of the campaign season. But, when I got better and started paying attention to what political types were saying I was shocked and started to distance myself from Conservative types, then Bachmann came along with her rant about BP having to pay for the oil spill and being chumps if they pay for it, I was done, that tells me the party has gone way too far and they are nuts.

They have absolutely no redeeming qualities.

(republicans) is a loan from some of that Bush Tax cuts! And I mean ONLY. There is no attractiveness about them. NONE.

That makes more than I do. I think that is probably the case with many Democratic Party members on this board. It's like the myth that we don't have guns, either, that we are lazy and unemployed.

It has been my experience that Republicans are the FIRST to take government handouts. Can't have someone else needy getting something you aren't no matter how able bodied you are, don't you know.

Which accounts for, im guessing, 90% of all right voting people

since I live in a notoriously blue area. But I do get into arguments with them a lot on the Internet, mainly on YouTube and YA. I think that a Democrat can be friends with or date a Republican, as long as politics is rarely discussed. There are Republicans who are perfectly functional human beings outside of politics.

For me it is harder to maintain friendships and family relationships with Republicans. It's been so political in Wisconsin and we have been bombarded not only with "koolaide", but investigations, elections, rallies, robocalls etc. Our main "newspaper" and other media outlets are shamefully owned/influenced by the right wing. The John Doe/FBI investigation has been going on for so long Peeps can't imagine it will ever produce evidence against Walker much less justice.

I work with more than a few very right leaning nurses. In the past we never let that come between us in having a good time at parties or functions of work (like our summer barbecue & picnic). Now we find it hard to smile with each other. Some post strange right wing stuff on FB. The politically right sit together, hang together, go out together. Many seem to be ensconced in the same Christian fundamental church. To me it seems as though the liberals have more flexibility in relating with others, but that could just be me.
I have become closer with those who see more of what I see. I don't want to be biased, but I admittedly cannot stomach our so called Governor and how he got there. I really don't feel comfortable being friends with his supporters. My perception and judgement regarding them is that they must be "stupid". On self reflection I feel ashamed that I am putting myself on a pedestal. But I honestly cannot see how they cannot see the corruption.

I have friends from the Marines who are rabidly right-wing, and friends from college. I even have friends who go on TV, pontificate, and get shut down by Tamron Hall. Once upon a time talking about politics was considered uncouth in social settings, and politics was more about ideas than identity. Maybe going back to that would be good.

No.

Several of my very close friends are Republicans. My skiing buddy (actually I snowboard, he skis...after all, he's the Republican) is one of those Republicans who now claims he's a Libertarian who never liked Bush (even though he voted for him twice).

The key is civility. We can disagree, but when we do (which we usually do) we can discuss, and not just call names throw tantrums like the current brand of Tea Bag Republican we see in DC and at The Cave. THOSE are the imbeciles. But in my experience, there are a lot of nice, friendly Republicans out there...as misguided as they may be.

Buddies who like you, know you and share none of your political views. That's life in America.

I love my sister because she is my sister, but I despise her politics and most of the things that she believes in. She's a Republican.

Politics could never truly trump my family & friends. But I find most of the people I know who identify themselves as Republican, are socially liberal. I suppose I could be friendly with a rabid right winger. But can't imagine I'd place myself in that position. That is to say, I just wouldn't attempt to create a relationship. It'd be like "See ya around." then I'd avoid em.

They tend to be fairly sane, despite the influence of Faux Nooze and RW talk radio, and we don't let politics affect our relationships and our caring for and about each other. We even manage to have civil conversations about politics and to appreciate each other's jokes at the expense of our respective political sides.

Political differences haven't cost me a single friend yet.

The type of idiots that are on TV? No.

To me, they're akin to the KKK, though the KKK doesn't begin to compare with the cruelty and ruthlessness the wingnuts exhibit. (I don't think--I so rarely hear anything much about them)
Conservatives are a hate group on steroids.

My politics stay inside the voting booth and in this computer chair. I vote a straight Democratic ticket most times and the reason I come to DU isn't to promote a viewpoint; everyone here already knows who they are. I come here because it's some of the best entertainment I've ever found on the interwebs. Otherwise, I'm as easy to get along with as a kitten, and never more than two breaths away from a chuckle. I don't even talk politics with my wife. In fact, I can't even tell you how she votes. It's not my business and I don't think she'd tell me if I asked.

All this bullshit about "turn on Rachel right FUGGING now!", "Big Eddie is destroying so and so!" and "bonus points for anyone who watched blah blah blah on MSNBC!" amuse me and at the same time make me a little sad. It makes me sad because I consider anyone who can't separate politics from friends, family, and a social life to be partly responsible for the way the country is divided today (WOW did anyone see Maher last night? He killed those repukes!).

I can't remember the last time I heard an angry political discussion in a social situation rather than read about one on DU. I don't remember there ever being anger over politics at a family gathering of mine and I know for a fact that my family's politics run from extreme left to extreme right. My "tribe" consists of about 25 people I've known since high school or before and their families/friends. We have two or three yearly camping trips with as many as 30 people which are really nothing more than drunkfests. Politics? Fuck that... who wants shooters???!!!

I don't have any stories about the insane inbred mouth-breathing right winger with a tooth at the grocery store today or the bumper sticker that really pissed me off. Maybe that's why I've never in my life had a headache and couldn't for the life of me tell you what heartburn feels like.

Learn to separate your politics from life in general. I've found it to be pretty fucking rewarding...

...still live in Texas....most hardcore righties....a lot of my old shipmates too...I don't talk politics to my family unless they throw rhetoric at me.....and I complain if fox is on....I tell them I don't play msnbc while you're at my house please offer me the same courtesy....,

As for my vet friends, we all know we earned the right to our opinions....I don't fault them but we have had some angry debates....but in the end we respect each others service more than our political opinions....aka-we agree to disagree

I do find it very disturbing that a handful of very vocal extremists such as Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, along with some just horrible politicians have been able to polarize the nation. I realize that there have been very turbulent times in our Republic's past, but I am concerned that the rhetoric has become so intense that it is destroying any chance for a middle ground and progress. Hopefully, someone will be able to bridge the widening gap and resurrect a spirit of common goals for the betterment of all Americans.