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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhat if "the kiss" was less sinister and more of a tragic miscommunication?
Update: Abort post! Didn't know he was married at the time. Nevermind!
One thing I learned long ago is that most men tend to have huge egos and a lot of them will mistakenly think that you're into them if you're nice or even cordial towards them. And I'm not saying that to be disparaging, it's obviously a crucial evolutionary survival trait.
In this case, I think (based on experiences I've had) that Tweeden was on a COMPLETELY different page from Franken, so much so that she didn't have a guard up and didn't even realize that she needed to give him cues to back off. In those cases, you're going to feel all the emotions that she says she felt because it's so unexpected and so shocking.
In other words, both of these statements could be true:
1) Tweeden's emotional reaction to the incident are completely valid from her perspective, but
2) Franken wasn't being a Trump-style creep who just kisses and gropes random women because "he can."
Perhaps Franken was guilty of thinking he had a chance with a woman who he had regular interaction with? A woman who he mistakenly assumed he was forming a personal connection with?
If someone believes that his or her relationship with someone is moving to the next level, is it OK to go in for a kiss? That's something that we as a society would need to clear up right now, in light of the current Predator Purge. New rules for how to go in for a kiss with someone you're already well acquainted with would change the dating game, for sure. Sometimes taking the initiative to have a first kiss is the only way out of the friend zone, if that makes sense.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,003 posts)There has been no evidence at all that he has ever cheated on his wife; I doubt very much that he was trying to start any kind of affair with Tweeden. He was nothing more than clumsy and dumb, probably trying to be funny and failing badly.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)One would think that would go without saying.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,003 posts)I said he was apparently trying to be funny and failed badly.
dflprincess
(28,095 posts)I think there are a lot of Democrats who have taken the Republican bait on this and if this works look for similar attacks on others.
womanofthehills
(8,818 posts)Randi Rhodes said Al is the least sexual man she ever met. Reporters have been questioning every women who ever worked with Al and so far nothing.
FBaggins
(26,793 posts)Last edited Sat Nov 18, 2017, 01:41 AM - Edit history (1)
There's nothing funny about posing women while they're unconscious and taking pictures of them either... yet he once joked about that too.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,003 posts)What do you want him to do? He's my senator; he's done great work for the citizens of my state, and losing him will hurt US a whole lot more than it would him.
FBaggins
(26,793 posts)Clearly his apology wasn't coming from a personal belief that such behavior was at out of line.
I'm sorry... I don't think that this should cost him his job in the absence of other accusations... but I also don't think that "he's a great Senator" is a reason to give him a pass either.
Are you saying that your Democratic governor doesn't do "great work"? That there's no un-creepy Democrat in the state that could be appointed if he had to go?
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,003 posts)A public flogging? Place him in stocks in front of the capitol building and throw rotten fruit at him? Make him write "I will not be a crude sexist dick" one hundred times on a blackboard in the Senate chambers?
Bill Maher made a pretty good point - something to the effect that there's a difference between a guy who once acted like a dick and a guy who is a dick. Unless some kind of pattern of this sort of thing is discovered - and that seems pretty doubtful in light of the muckraking Norm Coleman did, with Karl Rove's help, during the 2008 senate election (where this incident never came up at all, nor did any like it), I believe Al Franken is a guy who once did a dickish thing but is not actually a dick. He's an excellent senator and a strong progressive who not only represents his constituency very well but who has been one of the strongest, most persistent interrogators of the likes of Jeff Sessions. I do not want to lose that weapon in the Senate.
He could be replaced by another Democrat, most likely Keith Ellison. But why throw the baby out with the bathwater?
FBaggins
(26,793 posts)The exposure and embarrassment is appropriately painful. Absent evidence of a pattern of similar behavior and in light of a seemingly genuine apology (if we ignore that one part) and acceptance of how it harmed his advocacy for women... I wouldn't expect more. Democratic voters can consider it in the next primary in light of how he continues to do his job.
I'm just not interested in minimizing his actions or shaming his victim.
riverwalker
(8,694 posts)The photo analysis says it was 5 pm. Other photos on the plane are all laughing and smiling. It was a packed plane. There are witnesses and hopefully will be hearing from them.
FBaggins
(26,793 posts)Long flights don't ever have periods of wakefulness and periods of sleeping?
Cameras in 2006 could reliably keep track of time zones while flying at 30,000 feet?
Yeah... there were witnesses and we've already hear from one of them. Al Franken. HE says that he understands why she felt violated.
Why do you think he's lying? Because some nut on twitter believes that someone hacked the picture metadata to remove the gps and photographer information but magically forgot to edit the time?
pnwmom
(109,025 posts)everyone in the shot deliberately posed for it, including the guy with the red cap.
FBaggins
(26,793 posts)Odd defense.
He says it's obvious why she would feel violated.
In your scenario, that would be in no sense obvious
pnwmom
(109,025 posts)So he apologized anyway, because he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Good for him -- but I'm more skeptical.
FBaggins
(26,793 posts)"Gee... I don't remember that, but it looks like something I would do, so I should apologize"
Shown a similar photo of myself, I would know that it was fake... because I would never do such a thing.
How about you?
pnwmom
(109,025 posts)assault isn't funny, so he apologized.
pnwmom
(109,025 posts)MFM008
(19,837 posts)And I dont.
ecstatic
(32,798 posts)Hoyt
(54,770 posts)appears to me she's not coming from the same place as Moore or Trump accusers. And neither is Franken attacking the accuser, preferring to apologize for something that might well have been inappropriate. It won't be long before this is a nonissue except to candidates who don't have any other way to attack Franken.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,003 posts)to the same woman, and there has never been even a rumor that he's ever been unfaithful to her.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)I'm good with Franken, just wish this hadn't happened, even if Tweeden is exaggerating things.
pat_k
(9,313 posts)From OP
I reached the same conclusion, but for somewhat different reasons.
Here's my take (from something I posted to another thread):
From her perspective, he was asking her to do something she was refusing to do (even though she didn't bother to tell anyone she was refusing). Being asked to do something you have refused to do is uncomfortable. I think her report of discomfort is honest. And she may have objected to rehearsing as clearly as she describes too. Franken would clearly be in the wrong if he "heard" the objection, and pressed on, but I think he failed to "hear" it because it didn't make sense. No one would expect someone who planned to do something on stage to object to rehearsing. My point is, the exact same sequence of events can seem "way out of bounds" to one participant, and well within bounds to another. Sure, she could be lying or exaggerating, but she could be giving an honest account based on memory and perception colored by her state of mind at the time. Memory is far more malleable than most of us think.
The unequivocally "bad act," as I see it, isn't the rehearsal kiss, it's the photo. There is no denying that it is a shameful display of disrespect, and Franken has expressed his disgust with himself. The only reason this story may not fade away as it should is that we are living in a world turned upside-down by reactionary insanity.
ecstatic
(32,798 posts)that we have to be 100% direct when we are uncomfortable in a situation, whether it's a script or whatever the case may be. Anything less can lead to disaster. Good points!
MichMary
(1,714 posts)I bet every drunk frat boy in the country who has been accused of rape can use the "tragic miscommunication" defense!
Demsrule86
(68,825 posts)and she is wearing a flak jacket and she is lying through her whitened teeth.
Demsrule86
(68,825 posts)The info coming out shows she is a liar...it will backfire on her...why do we even help the GOP in this sort of shit?
Demsrule86
(68,825 posts)rzemanfl
(29,585 posts)a Republican ratfuck Leaann wittingly or unwittingly participated in. I vote the former.
Irish_Dem
(48,094 posts)Women on the other hand have been socialized for thousands of years to read men.
They had no power, rights, money and were totally dependent upon males for the survival of
themselves and their children.
MaryMagdaline
(6,859 posts)May well be some sort of mistake. Al thinking it should be rehearsed. She thinking hell no. The tongue down the throat? No. She was grossed out. She thought he had an agenda with the forced rehearsal and it was confirmed in her mind when he tongued her. He might think she's one of the boys ... she can take a joke. Seems the kiss was a little hostile rather than sexual but hostility plus sex is very unnerving. The fact that she is a RW'r does not really change my view because I think there was automatic hostility between the 2, maybe even because of politics. Gags among friends are ok, but hard to hide the hate when it's there.
Response to ecstatic (Original post)
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