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thomhartmann

(3,979 posts)
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 12:50 PM Jun 2012

Thom Hartmann: Pastor Knapp - get your bedroom & virginity police organized



Kansas Pastor Curtis Knapp of the Hope Baptist Church says that gays should be put to death because that's what the Bible says. And, in fact, in Leviticus, writting between 3and 5 thousand years ago, it does say that, Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. So, if we're going to organize society around Bronze-age legal standards, let's go the whole way. The Bible also says, Leviticus 20 “If anyone curses his father and mother, he must be put to death." And that one is so important, it's even repeated in the bible way over in the book of Exodus, Exodus 21:17 “Whoever treats his father or his mother disgracefully must surely be put to death." So, if your kids talk back - get out the stones! Or, to update things, keep your guns loaded. In fact, to help Pastor Knapp, here's a quick list of people who have insulted their parents, so he can lead the crusade for their death:

-Drew Barrymore has dissed her parents
-As has Macaulay Mulkin
-And Angelina Jolie
-And Michelle Williams

I'm guessing Pastor Knapp has never talked back to his parents, so he doesn't have to ask his congregation to kill him, but I wonder when he's going to ask them to bring in their unruly children so everybody in the congregation can participate in the mass execution? Although it may even get more uncomfortable for Pastor Knapp if he really wants to go the "Full Taliban" and call for the death of people who violated Bronze Age Biblical laws. For example, the Bible also says that, Leviticus 24:16 "anyone who blasphemes the name of the Lord is to be put to death. The entire assembly must stone them." Has anybody in the congregation ever, in their lives, said "God damn"? PUT THEM TO DEATH! Everybody in the congregation should form a circle around the malefactors, and stone them to death! And then, should anybody in the good pastor's church think about going to Dennys or IHOP or MacDonalds afterwards? PUT THEM TO DEATH! After all, the Bible says, in two different places, EXODUS 31:14 "Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; whoever does any work on that day must be cut off from his people." Exodus 35:2 "For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death."

The church should organize a squad that goes from house to house, looking for people who are doing home repairs or mowing their laws on Sunday, and kill them all. And, of course, they could firebomb every open business, and shoot the workers as they flee the flames. After all, it's in the Bible. And how many of those men in the congregation married women who are not virgins? Well, the Bible has a remedy for that - bring those fallen women into the church and put them to death: Deuteronomy 22:20 "[if the tokens of] virginity be not found for the damsel ... then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die..." On the other hand, if any man in the church sees a virgin he likes and wants her to marry him, even if she doesn't like him or doesn't want to get married - then the Bible has a solution. This is called "traditional marriage" - all he has to do is rape her! Deuteronomy 22:28 "If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall giveonto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days."

And this is just the beginning. Anybody with a religious statue in their house - which includes Crucifixes - look out Roman Catholics - has broken the First Commandment. People who eat shellfish - that is, the folks who patronize Red Lobster - are doomed. People who wear clothing made of two types of fabric? You're in big trouble if your shirt is a cotton/poly blend! And all those men in the congregation who might sleep with their wives while they're having their period? BOTH of them get taken out. And remember when Nancy Reagan was choosing the days for Ronnie to sign bills or make speeches? The bible says they should both be put to death. So, Pastor Knapp, get your bedroom and virginity police organized. And start wiring microphones into all the homes of your parishoners so you can catch kids speaking ill of their parents so you can mark them for death the way you have gays. And don't forget to get extra stones for when you catch your parishoners going to seafood restaurants and ordering the Lobster or Crabs or Shrimp. America will be SUCH a better place if people like you are successful at taking us back to Biblical law!

The Big Picture with Thom Hartmann on RT TV & FSTV "live" 9pm and 11pm check www.thomhartmann.com/tv for local listings
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Thom Hartmann: Pastor Knapp - get your bedroom & virginity police organized (Original Post) thomhartmann Jun 2012 OP
Excellent . How to answer to Bible Thumper selective Bible quotes. lumpy Jun 2012 #1

lumpy

(13,704 posts)
1. Excellent . How to answer to Bible Thumper selective Bible quotes.
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 04:01 PM
Jun 2012

Lot of stoning to death in the Old Testament. Sounds like the Taliban.

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