Oval Office.

i told the same joke about Reagan when he won in 1980.

I had it first!

He looks exactly like the first dog I remember being part of our family, from when I was 4,hell maybe 3, 50 years ago, til I was 11 or 12.

Sparky. He was very special to me. Like a little brother almost.

starring John Travolta, Andie MacDowell, William Hurt, Jean Stapleton & Robert Pastorelli.

(I'm not a huge fan of Travolta, but he was good in this one)

Secretary of State

Secretary of the Treasury

Secretary of Labor

Secretary of the Interior

etc, etc, etc.....

God doesn't think he's Donald Trump.

Q: What is a joke?

A: Donald Trump.

One is nuts and the other is a healthy snack.

Nothing...It's a trick question.

He grows taller

Just rub him down with Preparation-H.

For Hispanic attacks.

Coincidentally, that's also the way he proposed to all three of his wives......(Conan O'Brien)

He makes sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.

One smells like greasy fried horse turds and the other is a place to buy inexpensive Mexican food.

(Crappy, dial-up Internet connection)

HE is the ultimate joke.

(The joke's on us, unfortunately)

Happy Thanksgiving!

He was told, your ancestors come from Borneo. You're Indonesian. You are an orange haired orangutan.

Wolf

George Washington couldn't tell a lie; Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth; and Donald Trump couldn't tell the difference.

Don Jr.

Eric

Ivanka

for starters.


.

and runs into a local bar near The Kremlin.

Trump - Bartender, give me 7 shots of vodka, and hurry.
Bartender - Of course my friend, but 7 shots at once?
Trump - Yes, 7 shots, top shelf and make it quick.
Bartender - Ok, 7 shots coming up. What's the occasion?
Trump - I'm celebrating my first blow job.
Bartender - Congratulations! But 7 shots at once?
Trump - Yes, if that doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

(I wasn't ready for that one)

Last edited Mon Nov 27, 2017, 08:53 AM - Edit history (1)

The devil tells Donnie Short Fingers that since he's been so evil on Earth, he will get to choose how he spends eternity.

The Devil shows Donnie Short Fingers the "False Prophet" room. Thousands of narcissists were tweeting about how great they are. As soon as the tweet was completed, rabid dogs appeared and ripped them limb from limb. They screamed until dead, were reanimated and the process started all over again. Donnie told the devil he didn't want to spend eternity there.

The devil then showed Donnie the "Glutton Room". Piles of big Macs and fried chicken were on a table. Demons force fed the gluttons until their bodies exploded. They were reanimated and the process started all over again. Donnie told the devil he didn't want to spend eternity there.

The devil then showed Donnie the "Sex Room". Beautiful soft music was playing. A black man was sitting on a golden toilet while a beautiful young lady performed fellatio on him for all eternity.

Donnie said; Devil, I want to spend eternity here! The devil smiled, turned to the young couple and said; "young lady, you're relieved"