Just so I can get off post 666

And they didn't need to be hollered.

from Jefferson Davis.

Dads are much more hands on parents, are more positive in their relationships with the kids, not just the disciplinarians.

I didn't use it on my kids.
It made my mom look weak and ineffectual.

I've always thought it was despicable.

along with "Mother of God!"

And "for the love of heaven will you kids stop making such a racket.
You would wake the dead."

For someone lazy: Useless as teats on a boar.
Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!
You're slower than molasses in January. (Fitting for this week.)

I don't think it would have come to mind for this thread so thanks for the flashback.

call "Momisms" and "Dadisms". It brings back lots of memories.

I wasn't born yesterday

You'd think my mom was a fan of old timey wrestling.

and Dad said it occasionally in HUMOR!

Do you want your face to freeze like that?
There are starving children in India who would love to have those Brussels sprouts.
Don't make me come up there.
What's all the forstyrrelse?? (Norwegian for "disturbance" )
Eat what's in front of you, I'm not running a short order restaurant.

Thought we were SO smart to say "ya mom, name one.". Sounds so horrible now

I was told not to be a smart-aleck. And eat my Brussels sprouts.

I got wise at the age of 6, one time only, took a mouth full of peas, carefully spit them into my napkin and asked if I could be excused from the dinner table, went into the half bath just off dining room, took the napkin and peas, threw them in the toilet, flushed and went back to the good stuff. I was never caught but knew better not to do it again.

the birdie builds his nest.

(I've been rather impatient my entire life.)

up the fat cooks ass for a milkshake.

Whenever my sister or I said, "I'm bored."

"Hello?"

"Is, (my sister there)?"

"No she is at the park, school, softball practice." Basically, wherever she was.

"DON'T SAY THAT!!!! What if it's an axe murderer?!"

It's Billy, Mom. It was never an axe murderer.

Also hell's bells.

Strong language for my mom to use.

He is of course the friend who was allowed to do something that I was not.

Mom 🍃

smack us into the middle of next week.

That always fascinated me, but once she'd issued that threat I wasn't quite willing to find out how that would feel.

or "watch your mouth/ tone mister or you wont sit down for a week"

have crazy over the love of you".

when his car comes down the driveway.

… she thought were dangerous because “you’ll fall down, break your leg, and poke your eye out”.

For some reason (known only to my mother) these three things invariably happened simultaneously.

When my friend, Lynn, actually did fall and break her leg, my mother always looked at her differently – I think she was trying to figure out which eye was the fake one.

with all us teenage girls she would make us all come and then point at the one she was really pissed at. Then she's say "YOU stay here and the other two go think about what your sister did wrong this time".

I will leave it at that ...

Or, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it."

I did hear that a lot!

=========

My grandma would say “A whistling woman and a cackling hen never did come to a very good end”

Whenever I did something dumb.

Not really said passive-aggressively, but when discussing what you were planning on doing - like course of study in college, travel plans, etc. if she thought you had a handle on things, she would say that.

TlalocW

Whenever one of us kids would say "I'm hungry" or "I'm thirsty" she would say "I'm Jean, how do you do?"

She kept all of us fed and hydrated.

She was born in 1922, she had a few classics.

We were always puzzled by that one. Her way of trying not to swear. But she’d slip a few times now and again. Dad was a fan of flipping off shitty drivers and telling us to not A/C the whole neighborhood and stop slamming the damn door on our way out.

And always, always: “Because I said so.” This constant injustice contributed heavily to my rebellious streak.

And me not being a morning person, my mom would torment me coming into my room, open the blinds and say, after who knows how much coffee, “Rise and Shine!” Ever since, I’ve never liked morning people, hahahaha!

I forgot them all... especially after I was taller than her... I just laughed.....
She loved politicians.. She said they all had the same line.. "vote for me, the hell with you!"
There were a bunch of "salty" ones also....
m

there were others that I shouldn't repeat. She did teach me how to swear properly - something she learned in finishing school.

He wouldn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

Mom used that all the time.

WAit til your Dad gets home. We laugh now about the time she yelled, "Get me the belt!" and I said I wouldn't, since she'd just belt me with it. She says that was the day she knew the jig was up.

THen there was "When you get your own place, you can make the rules."

AH, and classic, altho it was only said once. I was 13 and had braces. My Dad was about to hit me on or near my mouth. My mom shouted, "Dear, don't forget the braces cost $1400!"

My Mom knew the jig was up when she grabbed a switch off the tree by the back door, I grabbed it threw it to the ground and walked away.

I Googled it just now, not really sure how to spell it, and can't find anything like it.

=====

and boy was she right

She was right...

I was not a bad kid... Mom would say this to keep 6 children in line.

"Always thinking about yourself, me, me, me. Try thinking about others for awhile. We'd ALL love to just sit on our duffs all day, but there's work to be done, my friend."

"Yes, Mom." (As my mind drifts to thoughts of a certain girl in French class, while I rake up the leaves in the backyard.)

"That's exactly where he belongs, isn't it?" (innocently fluttering her eyelashes).
"If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find it at the end of your arm."
"A promise made is a debt unpaid." (She was a great fan of Robert Service's poems.)

I'm the neck that turns the head.

I think that might have been her own original because I've never heard anyone else say it.

"After a hundred feet, my marksmanship ain't very good!"

"Sh!t in one hand and wish in the other -- see which gets filled faster"

...and often said to me and my sister when we at each other's throats:

"I'm gonna lock both of you in a room and give first aid to the survivor!"

Im gonna steal that one if you don't mind...
m

fun whether you want to or not!" "Just when I'm bragging about you guys, you go and screw it up."

and "Do as I say, not as I do."

and "Get your nose out of that book and go outside and play."

You want me to get that yardstick? -or- You want a lickin'?

Hell's bells!

He was behind the door when God was passing out the brains.

(I never had an answer for that one)

drag your ass.

Always with dinner if something leftover.


Peace

Such an awesome smile when she said that. I'll always picture it. It was reserved for something that really surprised her for the good.

I had a towel etched with those words and keep it in my dresser drawer.

We would all take a ride..

Always loved that one!

also loved that one!

I'll knock your heads together!

The two youngest boys... I heard that one...

It was never just to each his own. She always added "as I always say".

Also, she liked to say "Go soak your head" when she was mad at somebody. She wouldn't say it directly to the person but would say something like "Ronald Reagan can go soak his head".

Heavens to Betsy! Holy Smokes! What a load of hooey! My mom was born in 1922 and grew up in Waukegan, Ill.

The first, upon me complaining something hurt "well stop doing it then" She's a nurse and I'm accident prone, sympathy was in short supply.

The second (and possibly third, but they are related) "you don't have to have a penis (or uterus) to do that 'insert some stereotypically gendered thing like cook, do laundry, change the oil on your car'.

Oh and this wasn't so much a regular saying, but her description of childbirth helped put me off ever having kids "It's like shoving a wet saint bernard through a cat door."