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LuckyCharms

(17,472 posts)
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 02:15 PM Jan 2018

For all you DIYers, I have some very helpful advice for you.

I've never told anyone here, but I am a published author of a best selling estimating manual for DIYers entitled "Hire a Pro to Do It, Asshole". Here are some estimating techniques that I used in this manual.

ESTIMATING THE TIME IT WILL TAKE YOU TO DO ANY DIY PROJECT

Number of hours you think it will take you
TIMES 20 hours
PLUS 5 days
EQUALS Total number of hours required to do it yourself

ESTIMATING THE COST OF PARTS AND MATERIAL IF YOU DO IT YOURSELF

Cost of the part you think you need to do the job
LESS Credit that you receive when you return the above part
PLUS Cost of the correct part
PLUS Cost of purchasing this part again because you installed it wrong and it broke
PLUS Cost of all the other parts that you broke when you got pissed off
PLUS Cost of the wall you fucking burned down heating a stuck nut with a plumbers torch
EQUALS Total cost of parts and material for the job

**Special hint: Always include the cost for a new wall because you burned the old one down, no matter how small the job is. Even if it is as small a job as changing a light bulb, you're going to burn down a fucking wall.

11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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For all you DIYers, I have some very helpful advice for you. (Original Post) LuckyCharms Jan 2018 OP
I'm pretty handy... Rollo Jan 2018 #1
Congratulations for doing some of the stuff yourself. LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #8
I afraid I do not find your estimates Sherman A1 Jan 2018 #2
Sherman A1, my post was completely a joke... LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #5
You forgot to add in the cost of marriage counseling cyclonefence Jan 2018 #3
and/or divorce attorneys LNM Jan 2018 #4
And therapy. hahaha LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #11
You forgot the cost of tools. surrealAmerican Jan 2018 #6
Yes, and then... LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #10
lol withoutapaddle Jan 2018 #7
You will get there! Go at your own pace, that's the beauty. LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #9

Rollo

(2,559 posts)
1. I'm pretty handy...
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 02:56 PM
Jan 2018

My day job is making stuff.

As a general rule, however, when I tackle a home or car project of a type I've never done before, I usually multiply my best guess on how long it will take by three. And that usually turns out to be accurate.

I'm getting ready to retire and I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't hire somebody to do some of the home repair/maintenance jobs before then. I have been putting some things off, thinking "I'll get to that when I retire and have more time". But then I realize that I'd rather retire and not have to worry about so much.

LuckyCharms

(17,472 posts)
8. Congratulations for doing some of the stuff yourself.
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 05:47 PM
Jan 2018

My rules here are as follows as far as DIY:

No gas lines

No plumbing on Sundays

No plumbing that I won't know how to fix if I screw it up

Only simple electrical...outlets, switches, fixtures. No stuffed junction boxes, no going into the panel.

No roofs.

I'll do just about anything else.

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
2. I afraid I do not find your estimates
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 03:07 PM
Jan 2018

either to be accurate or helpful.

I do many things around my house and help family as I can. I am sometimes slow, but I am much less expensive than hiring a professional.

LuckyCharms

(17,472 posts)
5. Sherman A1, my post was completely a joke...
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 03:35 PM
Jan 2018

I do everything myself. I remodeled my entire kitchen without having a clue what I was doing, after several months of online research. I wouldn't have it any other way. It came out better than any contractor would have done. So good in fact, that the cabinet company I bought my materials from posted my pictures on their website.

You probably know what is involved with kitchens. They are a different animal, and they are difficult. It may take you 16 hours just to figure out cabinet hinges. You have to worry about clearances, fit and form. Not everyone can do them. I will carry the pride of what I've done for my family forever. During a grueling 11 month period, I did my complete kitchen, some hardwood floors, doors, trim, and several other projects. That is why I make jokes about these things.

Congratulations on doing your own stuff.

cyclonefence

(4,483 posts)
3. You forgot to add in the cost of marriage counseling
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 03:11 PM
Jan 2018

after the project sits, still unfinished, after 18 months.

surrealAmerican

(11,369 posts)
6. You forgot the cost of tools.
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 03:56 PM
Jan 2018

There will always be at least one tool needed for the job that you do not already have - usually an expensive one.
Oh, and another tool you think you will need, so you buy it, and do not use it, but will, for whatever reason, be unable to return it for a refund.

LuckyCharms

(17,472 posts)
10. Yes, and then...
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 06:00 PM
Jan 2018

Re-buying a tool you already have because you can't find it and then discover it was right in front of you.

withoutapaddle

(263 posts)
7. lol
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 04:26 PM
Jan 2018

yup. i should a used your table lol.

what i thought was going to be a three month project to save my water damaged floors, well, it's six months later and halfway there! since i don't have the cash to pay a contractor to do it, it all sits undone until i've got energy and the all important_ cash.

and whilst ripping out my bathroom, discovered that i needed to re-plumb the entire house!


p.s. you gotta add the doctor bills from all the scrapes, bruises, tetanus shot, etc. ( and the cost of the wires, tape, and screwdriver handles that my dog chewed up.}

LuckyCharms

(17,472 posts)
9. You will get there! Go at your own pace, that's the beauty.
Tue Jan 23, 2018, 05:59 PM
Jan 2018

Kitchen took three ER visits. Put a chisel through my finger, burned my hands, and threw my back out.

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