The DU Lounge

Aristus

(66,388 posts) Fri Mar 1, 2024, 12:36 PM Mar 1

Modern Automated Electronic Defibrillators all have one significant drawback:

When you hit the test button, it bellows: "STAY CALM!"

Now, how can I stay calm when you're bellowing at me "STAY CALM!" like Darth Vader?

Can't you just whisper it? Or maybe say it in Kathleen Turner's voice, or something?

We're already all on edge a little here...

19 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Modern Automated Electronic Defibrillators all have one significant drawback: (Original Post) Aristus Mar 1 OP

It's probably set that loud because MutantAndProud Mar 1 #1

Machines yelling at me always calm me down. Think. Again. Mar 1 #2

My car blows the horn Arne Mar 1 #3

My ex had a similar feature JoseBalow Mar 1 #14

LOL Nittersing Mar 1 #4

If they had a sense of humor.. getagrip_already Mar 1 #5

I really do need something that can help me develop a relaxed attitude toward danger. Aristus Mar 1 #6

Try yhe thing out on yourself before you use it....... lastlib Mar 1 #7

Try a galactic gargle blaster getagrip_already Mar 1 #8

As soon as I start drinking liquor again (at least another month; I swear I'm losing some weight) Aristus Mar 1 #9

Here is the original.... getagrip_already Mar 1 #10

Flights to Santraginus V are not as numerous as they used to be. Aristus Mar 1 #11

I think you can get it on ebay.... getagrip_already Mar 1 #12

The one they used on me chanted "Let him go! Let him go!" then they Wonder Why Mar 1 #13

;-/ jfz9580m Mar 2 #15

Many years ago I was working in downtown San Francisco. A group of us were standing around in front of Ma retread Mar 2 #16

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2 #17

It should play this: malthaussen Mar 2 #18

YOU WILL BE CALM OR YOU WILL BE ELECTROCUTED! Hermit-The-Prog Mar 4 #19

MutantAndProud

(742 posts)

1. It's probably set that loud because

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 12:40 PM

Mar 1

Sometimes a room full of screaming/wailing/panicking people have to be heard over. Just a guess. Ordinarily I’d agree and find it funny or shocking (no pun intended), but only so many people stay calm enough to hear the reminder to stay calm in real life.

Think. Again.

(8,187 posts)

2. Machines yelling at me always calm me down.

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 12:45 PM

Mar 1

Arne

(2,027 posts)

3. My car blows the horn

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 01:10 PM

Mar 1

When I open the ash tray.

JoseBalow

(2,392 posts)

14. My ex had a similar feature

Reply to Arne (Reply #3)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 03:57 PM

Mar 1

Nittersing

(6,362 posts)

4. LOL

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 01:20 PM

Mar 1

If I didn't know it was coming, that would definitely NOT help me to stay calm.

getagrip_already

(14,764 posts)

5. If they had a sense of humor..

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 01:58 PM

Mar 1

It would bellow "Don't Panic!".

Aristus

(66,388 posts)

6. I really do need something that can help me develop a relaxed attitude toward danger.

Reply to getagrip_already (Reply #5)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:02 PM

Mar 1

Any ideas?

lastlib

(23,248 posts)

7. Try yhe thing out on yourself before you use it.......

Reply to Aristus (Reply #6)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:11 PM

Mar 1

That ought to be calming.........

getagrip_already

(14,764 posts)

8. Try a galactic gargle blaster

Reply to Aristus (Reply #6)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:17 PM

Mar 1

It may not help, but you won't care.

Aristus

(66,388 posts)

9. As soon as I start drinking liquor again (at least another month; I swear I'm losing some weight)

Reply to getagrip_already (Reply #8)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:19 PM

Mar 1

I'm going to look around for some Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster recipes.

getagrip_already

(14,764 posts)

10. Here is the original....

Reply to Aristus (Reply #9)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:23 PM

Mar 1

Though some ingredients are hard to come by.

One bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit. One measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V. Three cubes of Arcturan mega-gin, properly iced to preserve the benzene. Four liters of Fallian marsh gas. A measure of Qalactin hypermint extract, floated over the back of a silver spoon. The tooth of an Algolian suntiger. A sprinkle of Zamphuor. And an olive.

Aristus

(66,388 posts)

11. Flights to Santraginus V are not as numerous as they used to be.

Reply to getagrip_already (Reply #10)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:24 PM

Mar 1

n/t

getagrip_already

(14,764 posts)

12. I think you can get it on ebay....

Reply to Aristus (Reply #11)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:39 PM

Mar 1

It comes and goes, so check back often.

Wonder Why

(3,212 posts)

13. The one they used on me chanted "Let him go! Let him go!" then they

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Fri Mar 1, 2024, 02:42 PM

Mar 1

dropped me off the cliff.

jfz9580m

(14,529 posts)

15. ;-/

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Sat Mar 2, 2024, 04:57 AM

Mar 2

That should be a part of any deescalation routine.

A machine than bellows “Stay Calm” ;-/

retread

(3,762 posts)

16. Many years ago I was working in downtown San Francisco. A group of us were standing around in front of Ma

Reply to Aristus (Original post)

Sat Mar 2, 2024, 07:43 AM

Mar 2

Bell's downtown central office building taking our mandatory break. A driver in a car on the street in front of us leaned on his horn. A guy in our group stepped toward the street and shook his fist while screaming, "Mellow out Goddamn it!"
Forty some years later thinking of that still brings a laugh.