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DFW

(54,436 posts)
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 07:30 AM Apr 10

Is there a medal for 42 years of hardship duty, continuous service, and courage in the face of adversity?

My wife married me 42 years ago today!

She's not an idiot. It wasn't her idea. It was my brother's idea. He invited us to our wedding.

Well, originally he invited us to his wedding, but when I said we'd both be there, he said, well, in that case, why not make it a double wedding? I said it sounded like a cool idea, but I'd half to check with the German half. It takes two to tango, after all. I was in Boston when I was talking to my brother, and my girlfriend was in the Ruhr district of Germany. So, I called her up and said my brother and his girlfriend (she was from Tokyo) were getting married in Washignton, and we were invited. Did she think she could get free then? She said absolutely, she'd be there. Then I told her about his suggestion with the double wedding. She said, "sure, works for me." Not the most romantic of proposals, but after 8 years, it wasn't like it was more than a paperwork formaility for us.

The reception looked like an informal meeting of the UN General Assembly, and the parents' table was the most peaceful ever, even with my atheist parents, my wife's Catholic parents and my brother's Shinto Buddhist in-laws. My parents knew English, French, and some Spanish. My wife's parents knew only German and Pladdütsch, and my sister-in-law's folk spoke only Japanese. Besides the obligatory band hired by my mom and my brother, I played Cletic and Appalachian duets with a fiddle-playing friend from the Netherlands, who also played a Norwegian Wedding March solo. Guests were from all over East Asia, as well as Transylvania, Surinam and Denmark, not to mention exotic places like New York and Massachusetts.

I'll confess that even after eight years, I couldn't believe my luck that a smart, beautiful woman like her saw anything in me--although the simple answer is that maybe she didn't. She is nearsighted, and doesn't like to wear her glasses.

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Is there a medal for 42 years of hardship duty, continuous service, and courage in the face of adversity? (Original Post) DFW Apr 10 OP
Wonderful account of the best day of MOMFUDSKI Apr 10 #1
Ah, what's the use? DFW Apr 10 #22
Happy Anniversary DFW and wife! Congratulations! Cheers! nt LittleGirl Apr 10 #2
Thanks, Little Girl! n/t DFW Apr 10 #23
My wife and I chose 11 April as two fools are better cachukis Apr 10 #3
I'm the only fool in our circle. DFW Apr 10 #14
Well if there isn't there should be and for every year after!!! Fla Dem Apr 10 #4
Thanks! DFW Apr 10 #25
Congrats to you and your wife! 70sEraVet Apr 10 #5
You assume correctly! DFW Apr 10 #16
You DID get the better end of the deal! lastlib Apr 10 #19
Hey, ya think? DFW Apr 10 #20
Happy Anniversary! SouthernDem4ever Apr 10 #6
Thanks! n/t DFW Apr 10 #26
Wow. Very cool story. Joinfortmill Apr 10 #7
Just one among the millions, I'm sure. DFW Apr 10 #27
I needed to read a true love story today, congrats to all of you irisblue Apr 10 #8
How I ever got to be part of this particular story, I'm still not sure DFW Apr 10 #28
Happiest of anniversaries to you and your beautiful lady. What does niyad Apr 10 #9
Thanks, Niyad! DFW Apr 10 #29
Folks look back at his posts IbogaProject Apr 10 #10
One of my favorite photos of that day is this one DFW Apr 10 #18
I thought that was Kate McKinnon at first.... rubbersole Apr 10 #35
I've never met Kate McKinnon DFW Apr 10 #38
How did you happen to meet someone from Suriname ? nt eppur_se_muova Apr 10 #11
She was one of the guests of my brother and his wife DFW Apr 10 #13
Thanks, I was curious because I know Suriname is one of the few countries where Dutch is an official language ! nt eppur_se_muova Apr 10 #48
I think there are as many or more in the Caribbean as there are in Europe DFW Apr 11 #52
What an incredible multi-cultural wedding! PatSeg Apr 10 #12
It was the only wedding I was a part of, so I didn't really get it at the time. DFW Apr 10 #30
What great memories of the start of a great marriage! Happy anniversary, DFW! highplainsdem Apr 10 #15
Thanks! DFW Apr 10 #31
Great story! Happy Anniversary! mountain grammy Apr 10 #17
Thank you, Grammy! n/t DFW Apr 10 #32
Such a sweet story karin_sj Apr 10 #21
Funny you should mention that. DFW Apr 10 #33
My dear DFW! Happy Anniversary to you both. What a great story! CaliforniaPeggy Apr 10 #24
Except for me speaking German, she wasn't impressed with the multi-lingual part at first. DFW Apr 10 #36
You both deserve one KS Toronado Apr 10 #34
Thanks! Next time I'm in Denmark.... DFW Apr 10 #37
See what coffee deficiency does, forgot to say Happy Anniversary! KS Toronado Apr 10 #40
It was implied, so thanks! n/t DFW Apr 10 #47
So cool! Thanks for sharing & happy anniversary! CaptainTruth Apr 10 #39
No, but the reward is more years of the same. malthaussen Apr 10 #41
We don't schedule 42 years into the future DFW Apr 10 #45
DFW.... Upthevibe Apr 10 #42
Thanks! DFW Apr 10 #46
Congratulations on 42 years! GoneOffShore Apr 10 #43
Congratulations yourself, then! DFW Apr 10 #44
I've seen the pictures you've posted over the years. Lochloosa Apr 10 #49
Shhhh! Don't say that too loudly DFW Apr 11 #53
Happy anniversary you two, and many more. 🌈💕🌺 Hekate Apr 10 #50
Mahalo Hekate! DFW Apr 11 #54
Nicely done - you obviously married up. Permanut Apr 10 #51
It's that obvious, huh? DFW Apr 11 #55

MOMFUDSKI

(5,637 posts)
1. Wonderful account of the best day of
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 07:52 AM
Apr 10

your life! Happy Anniversary. And, yes, there is a medal. Go find it

DFW

(54,436 posts)
22. Ah, what's the use?
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:18 AM
Apr 10

My wife would never wear it anyway.

When I told her we were going to meet the President, she just asked, "Why? What do I say to the President of the United States, anyway?" I said to just say "Nice to meet you, Mister President!" She shrugged, and said, OK, if you say so.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
14. I'm the only fool in our circle.
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 09:49 AM
Apr 10

But I try to keep it under wraps as much as possible. I'm sensitive that way....

70sEraVet

(3,512 posts)
5. Congrats to you and your wife!
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 08:39 AM
Apr 10

I assume your brother and sister-in-law are still together, celebrating THEIR anniversary?

DFW

(54,436 posts)
16. You assume correctly!
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 09:51 AM
Apr 10

I just got off the phone with him in Langley. I'll be running over there next week, but my wife has too much to do here, and can't make it. Retirement is a bitch, it seems. She now never has time for anything.

Yes, they are still together back in northern Virginia, near where we grew up.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
28. How I ever got to be part of this particular story, I'm still not sure
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:23 AM
Apr 10

But I know I got lucky, believe me.

niyad

(113,550 posts)
9. Happiest of anniversaries to you and your beautiful lady. What does
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 09:14 AM
Apr 10

she see in you? Heart, soul, intelligence, kindness, a wicked sense of humour, a truly amazing person, as is she. Kindred spirits. Raising a glass to you and your lady today, with wishes for many more.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
29. Thanks, Niyad!
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:24 AM
Apr 10

You always post something I then feel obligated to try my utmost to live up to!

IbogaProject

(2,840 posts)
10. Folks look back at his posts
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 09:25 AM
Apr 10

Happy anniversary!

DFW has posted pictures and maybe described other details in previous years. I think I first read this for their 38th.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
18. One of my favorite photos of that day is this one
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:06 AM
Apr 10

My wife was with her father, patiently waiting to walk down the aisle.

rubbersole

(6,723 posts)
35. I thought that was Kate McKinnon at first....
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:31 AM
Apr 10

...beautiful. Happy Anniversary! Many more, DFW, many more.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
13. She was one of the guests of my brother and his wife
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 09:47 AM
Apr 10

I think she worked at the World Bank's South America desk, and my brother's wife was high up in the Asian desk. She spoke some Taki Taki to me, sort of a Dutch Creole languiage, but that was beyond me, although it soundeed cool, as I remember. I hadn't learned Dutch yet. My fiddle playing friend who was there seemed to be able to talk to her in some version of Dutch.

eppur_se_muova

(36,287 posts)
48. Thanks, I was curious because I know Suriname is one of the few countries where Dutch is an official language ! nt
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 05:31 PM
Apr 10

DFW

(54,436 posts)
52. I think there are as many or more in the Caribbean as there are in Europe
Thu Apr 11, 2024, 12:16 AM
Apr 11

Suriname, Curaçao, Aruba and St. Maarten in the western Hemisphere, and Belgium, Netherlands and (kinda, sorta) South Africa in the Eastern hemisphere.

PatSeg

(47,585 posts)
12. What an incredible multi-cultural wedding!
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 09:43 AM
Apr 10

It must have been an unforgettable event.

Happy Anniversary!

DFW

(54,436 posts)
30. It was the only wedding I was a part of, so I didn't really get it at the time.
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:26 AM
Apr 10

But you're right, it was unforgettable.

karin_sj

(812 posts)
21. Such a sweet story
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:10 AM
Apr 10

Happy anniversary and congratulations on 42 happy years together. My husband and I were also married in 1982 and celebrated 42 years in January. Sounds like you both hit the jackpot when you found each other!

DFW

(54,436 posts)
33. Funny you should mention that.
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:30 AM
Apr 10

She thought it was just a nice summer fling, that America was as far away as the dark side of the moon, and that after the summer, she'd never see me again.

I, on the other hand, thought, if you ever let her get away, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. And so I did everything I could to make sure I didn't let her get away. It has worked, so far.

CaliforniaPeggy

(149,694 posts)
24. My dear DFW! Happy Anniversary to you both. What a great story!
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:20 AM
Apr 10

And I can tell you, from my own experience, that she saw plenty of reasons to marry you! Smart, funny, multi-lingual, curious, sexy, and the list goes on!

You had such a beautiful wedding day! It makes me smile to read about it.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
36. Except for me speaking German, she wasn't impressed with the multi-lingual part at first.
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 10:32 AM
Apr 10

Later on, she got to appreciate that. When we were in Russia, and she couldn't read any of the signs, then she REALLY got to appreciate it, and never left my side!

DFW

(54,436 posts)
45. We don't schedule 42 years into the future
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 12:43 PM
Apr 10

At this point, we barely schedule 42 days into the future. With my job, I can hardly schedule 42 hours into the future.

We figure being alive when it comes is the goal in itself.

DFW

(54,436 posts)
44. Congratulations yourself, then!
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 12:41 PM
Apr 10

This July marks 50 years since we met in that dark cabaret in West Berlin.

If you had told us then that we would be married grandparents 50 years later, I would have said, " wow, lucky me!" and she would have said, "whatever it is you're on, keep your distance, because even possession is enough to get get you arrested!"

Lochloosa

(16,068 posts)
49. I've seen the pictures you've posted over the years.
Wed Apr 10, 2024, 08:34 PM
Apr 10

You definitely got the best end of that deal.

Congrats!

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