when i was a kid , half of life was looking for the infernal things . lol

Needless to say, I couldn't find it and assumed it got tossed in the trash.

Two weeks later I found the original prescription in the freezer. (You've got that to look forward to!)

One time, I found the milk in the dishwasher. Empty glass was in fridge. Sad thing was I was only 24 at the time.

Buying cheap readers for every room in the house.

Have a bad habit of stepping on them after they've fallen off the bed, so am down to my last pair.

Which also brought me to one of life's big conundrums:
How in the hell are you supposed to see to tighten that tiny screw on the arm of your reading glasses if all other pairs have been misplaced, broken, or "borrowed?"

That way I discover things I had not yet realized were missing!

you know, life is so distracting its way too full of interruptions. Too many things on the to-do list that you lose; so then start a new one.

My glasses are one thing I never (almost never) misplace, as I'm so nearsighted that they are on my face except when I'm asleep or in the shower.

If I really couldn't find them, I'd have to put on one of my extra pairs in order to look for them.

There's a list?

What is really riling me lately is that I will be seated at my hobby bench, working away, and lose a tool or a part, without moving my buns from my chair, and I mean, really lose it, only to be found hours or days later. Part of my problem is that I am much like a kleptomanic, I will be absent-mindedly holding something, walk into another room, put it down without really registering and then get all bumfuzzled when I can't find the missing item. Thatis not new to me in old age either. I don't think that I will improve with age, but at least maybe I will become less irritated as I become more forgetful.

Brooke Shields is on the cover of AARP Magazine. Remember when she was a kid? Of course you do.

You can thank me later.

I wore my reading glasses on top of my head for years and have also spent more time than I care to admit looking for them while they were perched right there. I finally bought a chain for them and hang them around my neck now. It’s not a perfect solution, however. I guess the chain is too blingy because the cat can’t help attacking it.

It tells me exactly where I'm going, and why I'm going there

so I can find them when I need them.

until my husband told me it was on my shoulder.

I don't wear reading glasses but I'm purely nearsighted. I only need glasses for distance.
I take my glasses off to read. A couple times I put them up on my head and then couldn't find my glasses!
And, I can't see 8 feet without them! "Where the heck did I put my glasses?"
Once, I asked my wife if she saw them. She just pointed to the top of her head. Duh!

because I thought becoming far-sighted would even out my near sightedness…like they’d meet in the middle and I’d be able to see without my contacts.

Nope.

The possessor of a great treasure goes about as a pauper looking for that which s/he already possesses.
This glasses on the head meme as an illustration a certain oddity of the seeker, being already in possession of the sought but not knowing it, needing the guru to point it out.

Of course, then the sought is not glasses (upanatrum* in Sanskrit), but something even closer to the eyes.
* means: near (to) eyes

I was so exhausted afterwards, I had to call out from work on Monday.

I just can’t bounce back the way I used to…

you're probably hitting the Golden Corral Early Bird Special so you can get home in time for Murder She Wrote.

Then when I finally find it, I'm like, "Dammit, NOW I remember putting it there"; why da fuk didn't I remember it before that??

I was looking for something I had lost in some tall weeds. Then my glasses fell off in the weeds. I had to call someone to help me find them because I couldn't see a thing.