Last edited Fri Jul 24, 2015, 11:07 AM - Edit history (1)

You were yourself, you still are, things have turned out well. What's not to like ?

Interesting post, as always.

You're an interesting, and very cool gentleman, and with the life you've made for yourself and the places you've been and the people you know, it's terrific.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

And you sure as hell never stop learning things!

My peers in Philadelphia in the early seventies seemed to think that anyone who did not dress like the denizens of Haight-Ashbury, 1968, and go to the same hairdresser was to be held in great suspicion. Not only did I not dress to their rules, I was from the South, grounds for heavy suspicion at the time (like I should have arranged to have been born in New Jersey or Connecticut or some such place. I mean the SOUTH? What the hell was I thinking?). He was remarking that I never gave in to pressure to conform to their norms, though there was plenty of it. He is a couple of years older, and was not a student at the time.

And you DIDN'T get high back then like the other KIDS ... so this guy thinks of you as 'non-conformist'?

Methinks the guy simply doesn't understand the traditional concept of 'conformism'. What 'the kids' of any given era are doing/into is NOT what defines the term. It's about what the 'grownups' are doing that defines it. And the 'grownups' are never supposed to be the ones getting high.

You may've been non-conformist in some other ways, but 'not getting high' has always been associated with 'conforming'.

The beauty of living in this era (at least in this part of the world) is: we're free to 'conform' in whatever ways we like, and not conform in whatever ways we like, and t'aint nobody else's business WHAT we do!

This guy was taking the point of view of our peers, not our parents. There was considerable peer pressure to be like the great majority of my class, and that meant long hair, tie-dyed gaudy clothes, bell-bottomed pants, and smoking, preferably stuff that got you high. He remembered that I caught considerable flak from a lot of people my/our age for not adopting the "correct" look. Since just about everybody we used to hang with DID get high, and thought something was wrong with me because I had no interest in it, that's what made Estéban call me the non-conformist. My parents, ironically enough, didn't care one whit what I did as long as I got good grades and didn't get arrested. It was my classmates who ended up insisting they knew what was best for me, and giving me a hard time when I didn't always go along.

Being non-conformist means you think for yourself. From your description, it sounds as though you followed a steady path and that it suited you, not that you feel you had suppress parts of yourself to do it.
In any event, it sounds like you have had a successful full life. Whatever label others put on it just doesn't matter.

That he was one of the very few who never had an opinion that I had to do this or had to do that, or else I wasn't cool. My two roomies in college were two black guys I knew from my last year of high school where nearly all the white guys thought the world owed them a living. The only guys who knew it wasn't that way for everyone were the token ghetto guys brought in from around the country to show how "modern" the school had become (it was anything but), and though we didn't share a common background, we did share the view that if anything positive was going to happen in our lives, it would be because we did something about it ourselves, and not because Daddy lived on Park Avenue or in Stamford, Connecticut.

It took me a long time to figure out that the labels didn't matter. I always thought for myself. It just took a very long time to figure out that it was OK to do that. It was very liberating when I finally got it.

... they just insist you conform to the standards they think are proper, which at that time was all about showing how "independent" and "revolutionary" you were. It is to laugh. And Esteban only remembers you from then, so he is really viewing you through a glass darkly.

I could go on a long rant here, but I'll just say that the word most often used for me back in those days was "weird," for exactly that reason of not conforming to peer "norms." It's an interesting spin on things, especially since I'd bet at least a nickel that the majority of your peers turned into their parents by 1980.

-- Mal

That school prided itself of its famous alumni (Bush 41 and W, for example), and was always giving us lines about how we should not do this or that because it "wouldn't please the alumni." I was fortunate I was only there for the one year.

As for conforming to being independent or revolutionary, I WAS independent, but a little too much for their tastes. I guess sooner or later, ANY group that develops a set of norms tends to reject anyone who deviates from those norms, and is downright hostile to anyone they encourage to adopt those norms and declines the invitation. But no one was ever able to come up with a coherent answer to my question of "why should I?" So, now, I'm running around the world doing my thing and most of them are indeed on Wall Street or wherever. I doubt the ones who inherited $100 million gave away half of it to charity or cancer research.

Ironically, my best friend these days probably WILL have accumulated $100 million by the time he's 70 (just has the magic touch with ideas and inspiration), and already has made plans in his estate to give away at least 80% to charity. He certainly helped me in my own modest way. He begged and pleaded for me to put my life's savings (this was in 1998 or so) into Berkshire Hathaway. I had enough for all of six shares, about $200,000 at the time. Good move. Wish I had had enough to buy ten times that. He is a big fan of enlightened education (already has started his own nonprofit foundation), which makes him a mortal enemy of the Texas School Board. He was an "odd man out" type as well. Dropped out of Harvard to do his own thing. I was very draftable at the time, and more interested in learning Russian and German than Vietnamese, so I stayed in college (last year of II-S).

Estéban remembers me from back then, but knows what I've been up to, and came out with his comment after I filled him in on the last 40 years. He said I never stopped being a nonconformist. I just never did what people thought I ought to be doing. I still do my music, write some, take more time off than most, and bust my ass the rest of the time. I already have two cardiac incidents behind me, what the hell do people expect me to do, stand around waiting for a medal?

Imagine going back to around 1980 and buying a couple of blocks of Microsoft. That's the second thing I'd do if I could go back (the first is more personal).

I always thought the answer to "why should I" was "because we tell you to." Never worked for me.

My HS guidance counsellor pressed a copy of Dale Carnegie on me. Well, I'm sure her intentions were good.

-- Mal

At the same time as I bought Berkshire, with the leftovers (I didn't have enough for one more Berkshire share), I had bought 500 shares of Apple at $38. It split a few times, and I then had 2000 shares. My Republican-owned outfit (Smith Barney) with whom I had left my stuff when I moved to Germany told me there was an earnings warning on Apple, and to ditch it if it went under $190. It went to $189 and so they sold it. Those 2000 shares split again, and would now be 14000 shares, now worth $125 apiece. You do the math.

Damn, that sucks. Of course, the 7:1 split was not expected. That's almost 2 mil you won't be seeing anytime soon.

But at least you have your health, right?

-- Mal

I figure after taxes, that's $1 million I would have had free and clear. That's a LOT of contributions I could have made...

It can sure-enough rent a fair piece of it, though.

-- Mal

I met this tall blonde model-type from Germany while I was a poor student living in a $179 a month apartment in Philadelphia. She was near-sighted, and didn't realize what she was getting into until it was too late, and then she decided to make me a long term project of hers--she is a social worker by profession. So, not only do I get that part "rent"-free, but I get civilization therapy and gourmet-cooking as part of the package. It's only been 41 years, so my civilization is still a work in progress, but she's very persistent.

I've got 200 shares and using the dividends to buy more.