And Caitlyn Jenner is one of the bravest people on the planet.

My mom's best friend went out with BJK back in the 70s

I remember all the hate directed at her, the scandal, the slurs, and I remember, this is so sappy, crying when I was reading an article about her because, I guess on some level, I related to what she was experiencing, but I was only in 5th grade. It "prepared" me to understand, that if I "chose" to be gay, I would have a horrible life and be miserable and rejected. I am glad I grew out of that shame.

From your post, the hate directed at BJK increased your negative feelings about your own future. Did she serve a positive role as well?

We have a young gay teen who visits with us often because he feels comfortable with us. He was talking yesterday about how much he enjoys dressing up as a woman. He said that he didn't know if he wanted to be a woman or just dress as one, but he pointed out that it didn't matter because he would never have the money to make the transition as Bruce has to Catlyn. It made me wonder if the publicity surrounding celebrities who are trans is actually depressing rather than uplifting for young people. And then I saw this post of yours about a much earlier time when gay/lesbian role models were few. Net positive or negative?

You have to remember, this was before the internet and media proliferation of an event, so coming across positive articles was rare, but I did see how she handled herself, and thought it was admirable.

There are few issues at play with this situation. First, it does matter if he wants to be a woman. Whether he can afford to physically transition is only part of the issue. Secondly, there is a difference between transgender (mind and body don't match) and transvestitism (dressing in the clothes usually associated with the other gender, usually more relevant to men). Finally, some young gay people, especially men, feel trapped by stereotypes, thus more feminine gay men (more masculine lesbians), may feel they are in the wrong body, when what they really may be fighting is gender stereotyping. I have found that most transgender people know their body and their mind are not matching, and externals such as dress and mannerisms are the least of their concerns. However, I am not transgender and I am treading as lightly as I can because this is not an area of expertise for me.



It's hard to say. People react to the same stimuli in different ways. So, for some, this could be quite positive, for others, it could be dehumanizing. We can talk generalities, but it really comes down to individuals.

As for me, personally, I was very mixed about what it was to be gay. Most gay men were portrayed as sex addicts, perverts, child molesters, very effeminate, depressed, deeply ashamed, and/or diseased. However, for me, anytime I saw someone who was gay in TV or movies, I was secretly elated because there was someone like me! Even if they portrayal was as described above, I finally saw I wasn't the only one. I am much older now, and view GBLT characters in a very different way. Some I like, some I don't, some cause me conflict, but it is still a thrill to see gay people for me.

My sister and I, age 69 and 71, are very unlikely companions for this 15 year-old boy. He stays with his grandparents when he is out of school, and they are neighbors of ours. He has not come out to them, and is terrified of how they would react (they are fundamentalist xtians). He talks a lot about how he has to be someone different when he is here, and that is very stressful. He has virtually no friends in the area...most of the boys he knew when he was younger dropped him when he came out to them.

We know that glbt teens can be very vulnerable, and seeing him so lonely and unhappy when he is staying here makes us worry. He does not ask for any advice, and we would not volunteer any, but we would like to better understand his journey. For now, he seems content to have this haven where he can visit and be his natural self. We are fine with that.