I never even thought of it as gender specific.

'a person in the same position, involved in the same activity, or otherwise associated with another.'

We females have enough problems, elevating such as this is harmful and damaging.

I think we have to get off of singular definitions. A female doctor can become a fellow to study her specialty. She can be granted a fellowship to do so.
A fellow can be a comrade or companion.
A mate to a shoe can be a fellow.

I can say that my fellow members of a group are all females.

Last edited Fri Jun 19, 2015, 12:42 PM - Edit history (1)

Talkin Gender Neutral Blues

Kristin Lems
2005-01-19
words and music by Kristin Lems c 2005
Story

This talkin blues (or is it a pre-rap?) is in the Woody Guthrie, Arlo Guthrie, and Bob Dylan tradition....musing aloud to a chord progression. The song is printed in the "Feminist Dictionary" and some other places.


Lyrics
I was walkin down the street one day
Reading the signs that passed my way
And after a while I started to see
That none of those words referred to me...
Good will towards men, all men are created equal,
Praise Him!

Well I asked some friends if they agreed
That they felt left out in the things they read
They told me yes, and added some more
And soon we all felt pretty sore
You got your Congressman, spaceman, sideman....
But I never heard of no house husband!

Well some men came by and a fight began to grow:
“You girls are so dumb you just don’t know,
These here are called “generic words”
They’re meant to include both the bees and the birds.”
Well gee fellas, how am I supposed to know?
I certainly don’t feel included!

Ok said I, if that’s so true, I’ll just use “woman” to cover the two
“It don’t make a difference to us,” they said
“If you wanna use woman, go right ahead.”
I said, "thanks, that’s really sisterly of you"
"Glad to see you believe in sportswomanship!"
“Now hold your horses,” they started to cry.
" I think I’ll hold my mares, said I.
“You’re leavin all of us guys behind.”
"Why no, we’re all part of womankind.
So don’t fret friends, take it like a woman
You’ll get used to it, just like we all did! "

in answer to your question, no, she was not overreacting. there is a whole lot more than "vestigial
sexism" in this language. it is so ingrained that most people are completely oblivious to it, and when it is pointed out, we get the "you are just too sensitive, you are overreacting" bs.

think about a term like "madam chairman"--sounds stupid when you break it down, yes? what is wrong with finding, and using, gender-neutral terms? it really is not that hard (unless, of course, you think there is nothing wrong with the sexism of the language.

(just an added, small point. the use of the suffixes "ette" and "ess" are actually diminutives meant to denigrate and make whatever word they are attached to "less than" the actual word.)