Addiction & Recovery
Related: About this forumToday I am 30 days sober
Heading to my PHP (partial hospitalization program) in a short while. My wife will be reading her data letter to me, pretty much saying how my drinking impacted her. Its a requirement of the program, and Im a bit nervous. Im not going to let that spoil my celebration
In the past 30 days I was at a funeral luncheon where booze was all around me. I was at a family reunion where booze was readily accessible. Guests in my house have had their cocktails and I drank my water, or Arnie Palmers. It felt a bit weird but I was proud of myself. I did not envy, and I did not drink.
Today I am thirty days sober.
snowybirdie
(5,251 posts)Keeping on!
At a time
Duncanpup
(12,951 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)ms liberty
(8,626 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)multigraincracker
(32,754 posts)No thanks, Im allergic to alcohol. I break out in hand cuffs. Cuts em right off.
riverbendviewgal
(4,254 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)underpants
(183,019 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)bucolic_frolic
(43,488 posts)you're on the right path!
cate94
(2,816 posts)Lonestarblue
(10,159 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)no_hypocrisy
(46,311 posts)Keep it going!
Proud of your dedication and determination.
cate94
(2,816 posts)Paladin
(28,285 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)BigOleDummy
(2,272 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)Hope22
(1,907 posts)Remember to breathe as you listen. It will be hard but not the hardest thing youve ever done. Love to you and yours. This is a new day!🙏🏼💗💗
NoMoreRepugs
(9,512 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)I think I can!
2naSalit
(86,936 posts)I hope you can do it again! I think you will, the first 30 can be tough.
cate94
(2,816 posts)One day at a time!
SharonAnn
(13,781 posts)Advice was that wherever i was going to be in a group where there was drinking going on, I should have an exit plan in case I felt needed to leave in order to stay sober. Have my own car if I was going somewhere for an event. Have a plan for how I could excuse myself from something in my own house. "I don't feel well" and go to my room or sneak out and go somewhere else.
It worked. Sometimes, just knowing I had an exit plan eased the temptation to drink.
cate94
(2,816 posts)ChazInAz
(2,579 posts)That's a long time!
Just twenty-four hours at a time, each taken singly.
A word of advice from an Olephart who's been there: pay attention when your wife takes your inventory. You have to know that stuff at bone level. You can do this.
I was grateful both for the things she said and my groups reaction.
AmBlue
(3,128 posts)I likely know a lot of things your wife will say as I have walked in her shoes, with my ex-husband. If he had done what you are doing, we might still be married for more than 40 years by now.
I'm proud of you and happy for your future. Keep up the good work!
Tetrachloride
(7,903 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)Niagara
(7,759 posts)You can do this, one day at a time.
roxybear
(19 posts)I know what you're going through. I quit 40 years ago and haven't had a drink since. However, it wasn't as easy as I might make it sound. It took me about 5 years to finally quit for good. During that time I was sober most of the time but there were times I had to try drinking again; it never turned out well. I'd drink alcoholically for a week to a month and then had to quit again because I made a fool of myself and/or was on the verge of losing my job. I put my wife and family through hell and I'm not proud of it. I finally realized that I can't drink safely and quit for good. I hope you're smarter than me and succeed on your first try. I was a slow learner. Even if things do get bad again don't get discouraged or give up hope. Even if the world looks like a dark place, you can make a good life for yourself and your family. I'd also ask your wife not to give up on you. My wife stood by me even though I screwed up and wasn't a nice person to live with; all I can say is that she's a saint. I, and I suspect she, would say the pain was worth it to come out at a good place in the end.
cate94
(2,816 posts)I dont think my wife would either if I slipped. I look at the pain the people in my group have suffered as a result of their relapses, and I hope to never go there.
twodogsbarking
(9,925 posts)Let it slide. They care but can't fully understand.
cate94
(2,816 posts)The data letter went well. At least as well as I could expect.
Chicagogrl1
(422 posts)Thats a great accomplishment. Keep it going!
cate94
(2,816 posts)geardaddy
(24,933 posts)That is great!
cate94
(2,816 posts)AllaN01Bear
(18,779 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)WmChris
(152 posts)I'm always glad to welcome another travler trudging the road to happy destiny. Stick around and the promises on pages 83-84 of the Big Book of AA will materialize, as they have manifested in my life.
cate94
(2,816 posts)My sponsor said wed read that together on Saturday. Great minds
niyad
(113,927 posts)c-rational
(2,600 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)fierywoman
(7,706 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)rzemanfl
(29,583 posts)They keep adding up. Congratulations.
Thanks!
flying_wahini
(6,700 posts)Its hard work but gets easier as you go.
cate94
(2,816 posts)pazzyanne
(6,560 posts)You should be proud of you! Keep on keeping on! We are all in your corner rooting for you!
LoisB
(7,254 posts)Chainfire
(17,757 posts)Been there, done that, and have the tee shirt. It gets easier with time and there will come a point in your life when you no longer think about it. Your life is going to take a turn for the better.
cate94
(2,816 posts)Im looking forward to the time I no longer think about it.
ramen
(793 posts)riverbendviewgal
(4,254 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)onecaliberal
(32,996 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)catrose
(5,079 posts)And instead of walking away, your wife is participating in both your recovery and the familys recovery. Good sign.
I feel very fortunate!
SpankMe
(2,974 posts)Keep it up. It can - and will - be done. (Sobriety, that is.)
My best wishes to your for continuing recovery!
Thank you!
Bristlecone
(10,146 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)vlyons
(10,252 posts)You are well on you way to that day, when the little voice in your head stops saying, "I need a drink." No, you don't NEED it. I used to drink way too much, and had about a dozen grand mal seizures. When I stopped drinking, the seizures also stopped. I can now drink a beer or glass of wine occasionally, as in 1 per 3 or 4 months.
I am amazed at how much alcohol permeates our culture. Watching TV or movies, count how many times someone comes in the door and heads straight for the bar for liquor. Like 3 or 4 fingers of liquor. Eventually alcohol will not interest you at all. You are perfectly capable of dealing with all the obstacles, disappointments, and upsets that come your way.
cate94
(2,816 posts)I doubt I could do just 1 every now and then.
You are so right about our culture. Booze is everywhere. Its just no longer in my glass.
soldierant
(6,958 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)Deep State Witch
(10,478 posts)Keep going - one day at a time!
cate94
(2,816 posts)BlueIdaho
(13,582 posts)There are going to be a whole string of sober firsts First time in a restaurant sober, first time you get sick sober, first time you go on vacation sober
after a while all those things will begin to feel normal. As my friends say - Easy Does It But Do It.
Find yourself a community of like minded individuals - theres plenty of folks that can help you. You dont and probably cant do this on your own. Remember that you need to hear from the people you love and that love you. Alcoholism affects the whole family.
Finally
No Matter What, Just Dont Drink.
We are rooting for you! ❤️
cate94
(2,816 posts)I agree wholeheartedly.
BlueIdaho
(13,582 posts)Waiting out there for you. One day youll realize there are plenty of folks that just dont drink - not because they are alcoholics but because the just dont want to. Then you may look around and realize youve been stuck in some kind of self imposed prison.
With any luck youll discover a whole world of opportunities, new experiences, and serenity.
One day at a time.
cate94
(2,816 posts)I hope youre right!
zanana1
(6,139 posts)Thirty days is quite an accomplishment. (I know how humbling that "data letter" can be). It's also freeing in a way, too. Walk tall and carry on!
Im pretty proud of myself. And the data letter was very loving. It had some hard truths, but the message was so supportive.
moniss
(4,274 posts)rurallib
(62,482 posts)You don't want to lose that feeling.
I quit somewhere @ 30 years ago and never missed it a bit.
cate94
(2,816 posts)ratchiweenie
(7,755 posts)doing yourself a HUGE favor. When people try to press alcohol on my husband and me, we just tell them "We drank our share" and we're tired of it now.
cate94
(2,816 posts)Im lucky to be around very supportive people. Hopefully no one will push the issue.
RainCaster
(10,952 posts)You have done the toughest part already. I general, each day will be easier than the day before, though the changes are subtle.
cate94
(2,816 posts)I hope youre right!
joanbarnes
(1,724 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)GeoWilliam750
(2,523 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)Permanut
(5,706 posts)A grateful member of AA.
There's no way to sugar coat this challenge. It was extremely difficult, and took four tries to get here.
There is also no way to describe how much better my life is.
Congratulations on a great achievement!
No sugar coating needed. I see the number of relapses in my group. Trying to keep in mind, I dont want to go through this again. It wont be any easier if there is a next time.
Mr.Bill
(24,368 posts)I quit smoking 20 years ago, and 32 years ago I quit all drugs except marijuana, which I rarely use anymore, cigarettes and alcohol. I've been toying with the idea of quitting drinking. I recently quit for a week, and I had no physical symptoms at all, so maybe I can do this. It inspires me when I see others do it.
I had quit everything but alcohol. I had to go to detox for alcohol. If you can do it on your own that is wonderful!
byronius
(7,411 posts)orangecrush
(19,665 posts)Goddessartist
(1,887 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(145,894 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)COL Mustard
(5,966 posts)And best wishes for many more days!
cate94
(2,816 posts)MacKasey
(998 posts)Trueblue Texan
(2,451 posts)Stay true to your convictions. You deserve it.
cate94
(2,816 posts)Will do.
LearnedHand
(3,396 posts)Trying and failing to imagine what it would be like to not drink for 20 years. One secret, I found out, was to not quit for 20 years, only for the next 5 minutes. Keep quitting every 5 minutes, and string those drink-free minutes together. That necklace gets long pretty fast. It gets easier. I am so proud of you.
ailsagirl
(22,907 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)And thank you!
keithbvadu2
(37,044 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)ailsagirl
(22,907 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)ailsagirl
(22,907 posts)😁😻😎😃😄😆
crickets
(25,990 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,268 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)diva77
(7,681 posts)1/2 pineapple juice + 1/2 soda water
1/2 cranberry juice + 1/2 soda water
DFW
(54,506 posts)I was spared by an unusual genetic oddity. Otherwise, who knows if I might have landed in the same boat?
Youre lucky.
DFW
(54,506 posts)I gag when I taste a wide variety of things. One is avocados. Another is alcohol. Whether beer, wine, hard stuff, or even ice cream with a few drops of Grand Marnier, I get repulsed. It was that way when I was five, and it's still that way now.The closest I can come is cod in garlic and white wine sauce, and only if the alcohol has completely burned off. But the chance of me downing even an eyedropper of an alcoholic beverage without getting ill is exactly zero. Neither my siblings nor my children have this, so I must be some kind of genetic freak. But since I never had a craving for it, I never missed it, either.
cate94
(2,816 posts)I was born with a predisposed to alcoholism. I ignored the warnings. Not terribly smart, so here I am.
Rhiannon12866
(206,752 posts)I know very well how tough it is in the beginning, wishing you a successful journey - One Day at a Time.
cate94
(2,816 posts)The_REAL_Ecumenist
(730 posts)cate94
(2,816 posts)Maraya1969
(22,509 posts)I wish for you all the very best in your sober journey.
cate94
(2,816 posts)mgardener
(1,825 posts)Congratulations.
cate94
(2,816 posts)lillypaddle
(9,581 posts)Good on you, cate94. It's tough, but I know you are going to keep on. Takes all kinds of courage and strength, and it sounds like you have all of that.