And also hugs.

Lost a friend to bone cancer in the back, same sort of thing. He made it a couple years after diagnosis but he was only 28 y.o.

Again so very sorry to hear this. We're here for you.



And yes, tolerance to opioids is semi-permanent in the sense that, while it doesn't return immediately if you've been off them for some time (which actually causes a lot of OD's), but it returns much quicker (than it developed initially) once you return to taking them.

So will their physical withdrawal effects.

you need. huggggggggs

Can't imagine the physical and emotional pain that you are experiencing.

I hope the radiation and chemo will help.

I don't know what to say really. I know I hope you can feel relief from your pain while being able to still feel. I hope that makes sense.

Again, I'm so sorry.

and your tolerance for pain extraordinary. You are in our thoughts and prayers here (we deal in real thoughts and prayers) at DU. Pulling any strings we can for you!

I blew out my left knee in 1981 by dropping a motorcycle on it in Alaska but did not get it surgically repaired until 1994,and then had it replaced finally in 2016, I just dealt with it

I was a Bering Crab and Trawl fisherman from 1981-1992 and that beats the hell out of you, but your’e young and it doesn’t hurt so much at that age

I was stabbed by a meth addict in 1996, I walked into a bar to get a glass of water, walked back outside and got stabbed by a 6 inch blade, I never said a word to him or him to me

Open chest surgery, he nicked my spleen and my pericardial sac, I died in the medical flight from port orchard to Seattle washington but they brought me back

Shattered my right leg at the “ Boot Top Fracture” rib and fib area at a job site in mason county Wa putting up a building at the airport

Smashed a whole bunch of fingers over the years including cutting the last half inch of my left hand ring finger off out in the Bering in 1984

Probably forgot about other serious injurys along the way

It’s not so much that I have a high pain tolerance but that I’m always in pain

And that isn’t fun

I miss being normal and pain free, they are bringing palliative care in here later this afternoon

😁

pain. Surely hope radiation gives you some relief. Hear you about being flat and still for radiation. My pain does not approch yous, but when I have to have a whole body MRI which once lasted 3 hours, unable to move a finger, my bad back screams. And that’s without your level of pain.

I am so very sorry. Dang.

sending you all the best vibes!

I have a positive mental attitude no matter what, I figure somebody will survive what i have someday, I’ve read recently that some cancers will be cured by the end of the decade due to the advances flowing from the corona virus work

I will volunteer for any experiments offered to me, it’s best to keep my hopes up and it sure can’t hurt as otherwise I’m going to die

I’m a member of Kaiser Permanante which was Group Heath Washington when I joined after seeing how they treated my parents

I’m now being taken care of by the St Joseph Medical Center oncology ward in Tacoma Wa, Kaiser doesn’t really have an oncology department so they contract with the Christian run program

These people have been absolute Angels to me, 100% all the time, 24/7, I could not be happier than in their care, I’m absolutely blown away about good I’m being treated here

In reality if it wasn’t for their bedside manner I would not be positive and would most likely depressed as hell

But I’m not

I’ve got a long way to go but my attitude sure helps and these wonderful people are who keeps me in the human race with a smile on my face

PRICELESS👌

Will keep you in my prayers.

Have you read anything about Rick Simpson oil? (High dosage cannabis) Supposed to help with pain/quality of life. I was giving it to my dad - he had melanoma - and it seemed to help.

I’ve never heard of it before but I do love the natural herb, I only use that a night and it’s been that way for over a decade

To me its sleep medicine, 1-2 tokes and I’m set for the evening, I quit drinking a little over 26 years ago and will never touch another drop

But the flower really likes me and I it,

Any idea of where to find thrr red Simpson oil?, I’ll look it up but if you’ve done the search I would appreciate knowing what you found

It’s a beautiful day outside so have a great weekend everybody

And thank you for the information on the oil

Mark
😉

If not, there’s a way to make it at home I saw several years ago on YouTube. Easiest is if your state is legal.

One of my favorite memory’s that I took pics of is my 87 year old Mother Walking into a green store buying some roll on rub for her back pain made from marijuana but no thc involved

You should have no trouble finding the RSO. Just be sure to read up on how to use it first, because it’s potent… start with a 1/2 grain of rice-sized drop of it. And also read about how to bring down a high in case you get too much in you as you progress. (There’s some research suggesting cannabis actually fights cancer, as well, but it’s not robust enough to be a sure thing.). Best of luck, and let me/us know how you’re doing.

and I'd love to extend an invitation to you, if ever you can make it over to the island, you're welcome to visit with us and sit on the beach. Sending you lots of love from Vashon...and when we make it over to Tacoma, we can bring you something delicious so you don't have to cook.

He has stayed positive and continued living on his terms. The pain, diminished sight and hearing have been the hardest things for him to overcome. He had gamma knife in Seattle Washington last October and so far no new progression of his cancer. He also lives in Washington and loves it. Right now he is being followed by Dr Rodrigues at Fred Hutchison cancer Center. Stay positive sending you calming vibes.

I struggle to stay positive! Yes, there are good people in the world and they help.

aches for you. I have sadly become familiar with this story; twin sis diagnosed with metastatic bone cancer after stage 4 breast cancer. She refused chemo fearing that would really mess with her remaining quality of life, but did get mammoth amounts of radiation to supposedly shrink the tumors, to no avail. Her biggest complaint is pain, and the pros seem to be having a tough time hitting on the right combo of drugs to make her comfortable. I do hope your pros keep addressing the drugs; seems to me no one should suffer in this day and age, though finding some of the drugs is challenging as pharmacists are reluctant to issue 'the good stuff' for fear of...what? She's a 67 year old woman dying of cancer, not a junkie.
Anyway, I will be thinking of you.

My son was diagnosed with stage 4 acc cancer in 2016. He had a recurrence last year that involved the skull base. Had gamma knife radiation in October. So far no new progression. Sending vibes your way that your radiation has a good outcome

I still believe in miracles.

That your radiation will have a good outcome. And also sending a great big ((HUG)). Keep that positive attitude! Your DU family is here for you.

I hope your attitude makes a difference. I know that it can.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:hug ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Prepare as best you can, rally all the support you can get (including here!) and never feel bad if you decide to just let go. This is too much for anybody. Wishing you all the love and peace possible at this horrendously difficult time.

That I’m going to check out my way if possible, I was the only family member present when my Uncle, my second father passed away, I was working at Lewis/McChord base near Tacoma when the family contacted the army to let them know what was going on, when I arrived his section of the family had already been there all night

They were tired and hungry, so they left me there and went to get something to eat, my uncle deep down had realized that the entire family had been to see them even though he was in agonal breathing at the time

I held him as he passed and told him what he needed to hear and he passed this was July 2008


My father had a stroke right in front of me as I had just retired I was living with him to keep a watch on him as he was getting forgetful then, and my mom had just gotten back surgery and had complications, when I got her home I cared for two invalids by myself for two months, he then lived another two years, 18 months on home hospice

My brother in law and best friend came down with cancer, he passed in 2012

His wife, my little Sister got cancer right after that and I had to follow her wishes and unplug her from the machines in 2015, they wanted her fourteen year old Son to do so, I told them that wasn’t happening and it was my responsibility

It broke my heart when I fulfilled her wish

The same year my moms younger brother came down with an exotic cancer, he was a nuclear power plant operator back east, he passed in 2016

Then both sons of my uncle/father got sick and passed in 2018 and 2019 respectively leaving me as the oldest male member of my family

That’s seven family members in 7 years, one after another

The real problem is that my 87 year old mother has already lost her Husband, her Daughter, her little brother and now maybe me

I’ve watched too many pass away suffuring and not even knowin their names, where they are or what’s going on

I’ll keep fighting but when it’s hopeless then I’m going to choose my own way out

With a smile on my face and love in my heart

Not laying in a bed lost to the world like I watched happen to my Father, I can’t do that to myself

❤️

You should absolutely do as you wish and feel is best for you and your Mom. Wishing you all the comfort and peace possible right now.

We'll be here. You are loved here.

We are with on this journey.

my sister went through the same thing. It hit her all of a sudden with horrible back pain that was misdiagnosed. Physical therapy does not fix what cancer does to a spine. I wish you relief from the pain and more time than they said.

n/t

Healing thoughts and peaceful vibes on their way! Concentrate on bringing as much peace into your life as possible. Time spent with the natural world works wonders.

Praying that fentanyl and radiation works well for you. Keep us updated, and take care!

i am so sorry you are going thru this...i live in a area with clean air, clean water, and the only thing around here is potatoes and whatever chemicals that is sprayed on those....i have lost a lot of friends and family to this disease....to give you a idea of what my area is like i live along the st. john river valley in new brunswick canada.

You are no stranger to pain. Sending you love and light in your continued journey here on this plane.

I just lost a friend to pancreatic cancer.

Her diagnosis was sudden, and an absolute stunner of a diagnosis - because her sister had been diagnosed with it 18 months earlier. She was absolutely determined ot beat it - as her sister had. Unfortunately, the universe had different plans for her and despite her best efforts she died 10 weeks after diagnosis. She had made absolutely no preparations for the possibility that she would not be successful in her fight.

So - if you can - fight, but prepare for all possibilities.

I'm glad to see (above) that you are involved in palliative care. Anyone with any chronic illness should have paliative care. Take advantage of all that palliative care offers. Cancer sucks (I am currently NED with two forms of cancer). Treatment often sucks more. Palliative care helps make it suck less. Make informed choices about quality of life v. quantity of life. You may get both (so far I'm lucky), you may have to choose. It's your choice, but go into it with open eyes. No cancer treatments are cost-free. Treat only if the cost (of treatment/risks of not treatment) is worth it to you. My friend chose fighting above all else, and lost precious time with her family because she was so focused on the fight. I chose to avoid radiation for my most aggressive cancer because the decrease in risk (a small decrease in the risk of local recurrence) didn't justify the cost (immediate and permanent loss of function in my dominant arm)

Also - take some time to get your ducks in a row for your family/friends. Estate planning, if you haven't done it yet. Conversations with them about end of life decisions, what you want for care when you are unable to communicate (even temporarily) with your doctors. My friend had to do all of this with her family after she was already in the process of actively dying - and unable to commucate much of the time, and not legally competent to make estate planning decisions. They were left making decisions based on her determination to defeat the beast until she recovered enough briefly enough to communicate that she had changed her mind.

I wish you the best of luck - however your journey progresses!

Peace and Love to you.

Most of us can not imagine dealing with this much pain. May your optimistic nature and the loving care you are receiving bring you some measure of pain relief. You have many friends here that care. Sending our best wishes to you, friend.

Last month I had a fall and have 3 compressed fractures on my spine. It was such severe pain .still is. . I know how much pain you are feeling. I send you hugs and encouragement in your fight for life. it's good you have help from friends.

For your sake I hope the fentanyl patches work and you will be able to get through the treatment. You may last longer than the end of the year, and may all the days you have left be filled with "peace..., laugh and love" with a whole lot of life.

Sounds like your spirit is strong. Fight on! You have many supporting friends here.

Sending prayers and positive vibes. Hope your pain gets better and you can get around again.

Is weed legal where you are???

I use a vapor pen normally but was smoking the flower recently because it was much stronger for some reason, I can’t seem to find my fall back types for the pen for months now

I use it as a sleep medicine because it lets the little aches and pain flow away and I go to sleep, I only have one to two tokes as night, that’s all it takes for me, I enjoy it and I go to sleep easier, I do not partake during the day

I’ve never had a problem with addiction of opiates, just a dependence on them but I got off morphine after 9 years, wasn’t easy but I did it, I haven’t had s as drop of alcohol in 26 years 3months and 3 days now and I never will again


I’m talking to my mom about bringing me some edibles tomorrow and that will do more to boost my spirits than anything else I can think of

Except for more pain killers and thsts coming in 10 minutes

They just upped my pain meds a bunch again via palliative care taking over now

I’m still hopeful, I’m still happy and I’m still alive, good enough for now 👍😁

I am glad to know you have access to multiple options for pain relief and sleep. Sleep is so important, you do not realize until you lose it. I took Ambien while I was getting chemo. It was wonderful...fell asleep and woke up later. Now, I cannot have it, too old and they won't prescribe. Melatonin helps but still wake up multiple times during the night. I miss that sleep.

Palliative care is such a blessing and an essential part of care.

Wishing you good days and restful nights.

You’re so brave, but please remember we are here for you.

I’m hoping the Fentanyl patches work. They helped so much in the couple of situations I was close to. Be as strong as you can, reach out whenever you want to, and know there are lots of good people on this earth who are pulling for you. Treat yourself well.

Sending a hug from rural Vermont….a place where there is a lot of hope and a lot of love.

I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through. I hope you at least get some relief from the pain soon.

words fail. Please keep us posted and I wish you little pain and much peace.

as it comes and are strong willed.

It sounds horrible. hoping they help you get through the pain.

You are very strong to have gotten this far. Peace and best wishes.

I hope you have made peace with your friends and family and that the rest of your life was one of joy.

My best to you.

Far too many Americans suffer from work-related injuries and just disappear from view with no word of thanks for their service and skills, and little sympathy for their long-term suffering that follows. They should all be celebrated as heroes.

I worked in hazardous industry for many years but came out relatively lucky. At 75, I only suffer from relatively minor back issues, although Mr. Arth Ritis is with me each day, mostly in my hands. In other words, I'm just plum wore out.

I hope you can find ways to discover tidbits of joy around you each day for the rest of your life, perhaps with nature or music and other forms of art. Please post a sample for us when you do discover something that brings you joy.

Thank you so much for sharing some of the details of your life with DU. You have inspired many of us today.

May peace be with you, SonofDonald............

We send life, laughter, and love right back to you!
As well as hugs

nt

you're going to embark upon a lovely transition to a place of health and happiness and an IQ of about 500. I'm sorry if this is offensive, because I know some people don't believe or are sensitive. I'm not one of them. I hate the pain you've had and still have. I have a friend who's just as bad off. We don't see how she copes. One day at a time.

Peace and strength to you!

Wishing you luck & sending hugs 🤗

I'm so glad there are so many caring people here to share in your troubles. Sending love and positive healing vibes your way. I hope they find a good cocktail to make you feel comfortable. Keep that great attitude. It makes all the difference.

I'm happy to give you my info. Do you mind if I ask where it originated? What type of cancer? You sound like a tough Washingtonian living the life of the Pacific Northwest. Have you ever gone geoduck digging? Sending healing energy your way. Take care.

I hope all of your days are filled with love

Glad for your successes wrestling with this monster.
Good wishes to you for strength and peace.

I wish I could give you a hug.

I wish you the very best of luck.

my positive thoughts and vibes to you❣️

I'm sending you good vibes, prayers and a big hug. Stay positive, life can be so unpredictable. I hope that you have a support system of family and friends around you.

everything goes the best way that it can. This must be so hard to face.

Sending comforting vibes.

I hope I can be half as positive and brave as you when my time comes.

And read your post. Gosh I'm sure sorry and wish you the best.

I hope you won't mind my using your first name. I've been using search to look at a lot of your old messages, and I noticed you signed your name to a beautiful and very touching reply you posted for The_jackalope in 2017: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1285294#post2 .

I wish so much you weren't in so much pain, and I hope the radiation treatments that are scheduled will bring it under control.

I hate cancer. I've lost relatives (including both my grandmothers) and other loved ones to cancer, but I've also had other relatives and loved ones recover from it. The treatments are so much better now than they used to be, and they're constantly finding new ones. It's good that you haven't given up hope.

That pain, though...

I've had some pain at least part of every day for 40 years, due to a bad fall on an icy sidewalk. Even at its worst it was trivial compared to what you're going through now, but I couldn't take prescription painkillers because my brain seems to check out when I do (and I'd only realize later that I'd screwed something up), so it was still enough to make my existence a living hell for a while, especially with the disability that went along with it for a while (couldn't climb stairs, couldn't sit at a desk, had to use an overbed table as a desk). I got terribly depressed and had to learn a lot of coping skills I'd never bothered to learn before, especially using meditation and music to tune out the pain. I noticed quite a few of your old posts were about music. I hope you have the music you love in the hospital. It might not seem like something that could help with such extreme pain now, but it might. My pain level was also trivial compared to what other family members with back problems have had - they've been on prescription painkillers for years, and one has a morphine pump implanted - but it sounds like your pain is worse than theirs.

Reading about what you're going through makes me feel like screaming because we don't have better painkillers for those who truly need them.

I noticed, going through your old messages, that you were raised Catholic (ditto) but left the church long ago (ditto). I don't belong to any religion now, but because of my own experiences and those of so many people I've known who've lost loved ones, I do believe we all have homecomings and reunions with loved ones (including pets) when we finally cross over. I have no idea how it works, but I don't think it has anything to do with our beliefs, or lack of them.

I'm hoping a successful treatment for both the cancer and the pain will be found, and that you'll have more years with your loved ones here, before those reunions on the other side with all your loved ones there (including Kittymonster, whose name I love).

Wishing you peace and healing, happiness and love.

I’m gobsmacked by the response to my post
And never thought I’d get anywhere near this response, in fact I wasn’t even really looking for it

I just wanted to tell my tale with a positive message in case it helped anyone deal with their issues

It sounds like it has been beneficial in some ways but it was cathartic for me myself

You can’t imagine the anxiety I felt when the doctor gave me my prognosis in front of my oldest Daughter and my Mother, all I could do was sit there and take it and try to stay calm, it was quite hard

But I’ve accepted it now and will stand up to it with a smile on my face and love in my heart

And all of you here are helping me remain that way, believe me

All the positive support helps me stand upright

And gives hope for the future, no matter what comes

Mark

how well you've been handling this.

I can't imagine DU not being supportive, either. This is a very caring community, and I hope you'll never hesitate to post here. We're here for you, and no matter when you post, this is a large enough and widespread enough community that a lot of DUers should be online.

You're helping us, too. Inspiring us to try to be as strong. But please don't think you have to be strong every minute. All of us need to be able to vent at times, and ask for help at times, and this is a safe space for that. Especially when you're doing all you can offline to stay calm for your family's sake.

The diagnosis is what it is, but I hope you find plenty of time without pain to live, laugh, and love as much as your heart can take.

For the pain easing to to the least discomfort. Keep growing in spirit and looking and living forward, in all your being, as you are already. May hope and peace be healers and guides. Blessings to you.

Hearts 💕 to you and a painless 🌈 bridge 🌉 transition when your body says it's time.

You are an inspiration and have helped me to take a more positive view of my health issues. Peace and love to you.

Dealing with constant pain at that level has to be a full-time occupation. I hope you are rewarded with some pain-free moments to savor.

My father went through something similar (pancreatic cancer, told there was nothing else that could be done for him). He,my mom, and all of their siblings were laid low by cancer, so with my family, it's likely we will be following you, whether you are around too hear of it or not.

My dad was a print journalist, one of the longest-serving (50 years) ever in D.C. His last column, appearing only 8 days before he left this world, contained the following: "Only time sets the parameters. Until the body gives out (for the spirit never will), then I will have to call it a life."

Time sets the parameters. The spirit never gives out. Those are thoughts worth holding on to.

I'm sorry that you got diagnosed with that horrible illness

and just a little thought -- something that has comforted me: knowing what my father's favorite song was -- maybe you can share what your favorite tune is with your daughter

prayers and support.

I am so sorry to hear this news. This can be a rough road. I have stood by friends who have gone through this -- some have survived some have not.

Sending hugs and healing thoughts.

hope that you are surrounded by those who may have more options than I have considered and likewise the love of friends and family. I'd love a miracle. I'd love for you to find comfort and peace. You are in my thoughts. We care.

Least difficult journey back home as possible. (Please forgive me if I offend with my spiritual beliefs about the afterlife.)

I hope you will have compassionate and excellent care, and I hope you will have many good days before you journey to what comes next.

We cry for you.

I was recently diagnosed with stage III-B of a "high-grade" aggressive cancer. I'm almost halfway through chemo and then will have radiation. Time will tell whether all this poisoning will give me some good healthy time on the other side!

It's weird to realize my life will be shorter than I'd hoped, like the time for everything I wanted to do just sped up, and at the same time I slowed down. I'm sorry you are in such pain. That I do not have at this point.

I'm glad Kaiser has been good to you! I have Kaiser on the east coast and it's been pretty bad - understaffed, so they keep sending me out to other facilities in all directions.

Hope you can keep your spirits up!

They really do help me along my journey and everything helps me keep the positive mental attitude going now

This is my third week in the hospital starting last Saturday and all the nurses here have told me that they all like me because I’m always cheerful and respectful no matter what to everybody

It’s free, it doesn’t cost anything and I think they have enough bad feelings running around here as it is

Positive mental attitude is the only way I can approach this and I’ve kept that attitude since day one hour one

Mark

I wish I had words of comfort but here's a virtual hug with caring vibes.

A friend just told me of her stage 4 diagnosis a few weeks ago so your post was hard to read. Last week I read a headline that some company is close to a blood test for cancer. I wonder if we spent even half the pentagon budget on cancer research where we'd be in that fight today? It's hard living in a country with such misplaced priorities. Have you seen Michael Moore's movie "Where to Invade Next?" Highly recommended! It's not about healthcare, it's about priorities. You can rent it on Amazon for $4.

I hope the radiation helped the pain.

Prayers for your pain relief.

My sister also wasn't diagnosed until Stage 4 and it makes me want to run down the street screaming about the lack of diagnosis. It seems that there is a glimmer of hope for using AI in cancer diagnosis and it can't come too soon.

One example:
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/promising-new-ai-can-detect-early-signs-lung-cancer-doctors-cant-see-rcna75982

I am just so very sorry.

I wish you relief from the pain with the fentanyl patches and as easy a journey to what comes next, as humanly possible.

I wish you comfort from your loved ones now as you prepare to cross, and if you believe in heaven or something nice on the other side, I hope it’s okay for me to say I hope it is even more nice than any of us can imagine, and there is more joy and happiness than we’ve ever felt in our lives, and I hope your loved ones there will meet you and help you cross. Please forgive me if you don’t believe in an after life, or in heaven etc. I just wish you all the best, that’s all I mean. And I’m sorry for your suffering now and wish the doctors could help you be pain free.

I have heard in a documentary that people facing death have benefitted from a single, medically-supervised dose of a hallucinogen like LSD or psilocybin. The response was that the experience helped them feel so differently about the scheme of life in general, they no longer had apprehension about death.

(I'm hoping that will be available to me when the time comes.)