Take it one little bit at a time. Turn it around. Ask them to clarify the questions.

If you don't take it personally, it can actually be fun to watch them twist themselves into a pretzel.

That's what I do. Usually both, in the order you stated.

Help yourself, not help them.

That’s the best thing always to do with toxic people.

And never let them gaslight you!

But if you can, do it.

If you can't, try not to take them seriously.

THEY have the problem.

Don't let them make it your problem.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/10-steps-to-recovering-from-toxic-trauma-bond-0110175

"Trauma bonds occur in extreme situations such as abusive relationships, hostage situations, and incestuous relationships, but also in any ongoing attached relationship in which there is a great deal of pain interspersed with times of calm (or maybe just less pain). "