Mental Health Support

vercetti2021

(10,156 posts) Sat Nov 19, 2022, 07:40 PM Nov 2022

Update on my situation

She finally came around to calling me after pressure from her friends. She explained that while she was initially on board with getting married. She didn't wanna hide it from her daughter and parents. Which I understand that. But she should have came to me sooner than last minute with this.

I told her I was 100% committed to her and this was my way of showing it. But the fact she wasn't means she has doubts about marriage or about me. Mainly because of her last fiance broke her heart. I told her yeah I get that but you broke mine by waiting til the last day to tell me. If she had told me sooner it wouldn't have been that bad. But it just further devolved into just fighting and I told her to figure it out and I hung up on her.

So yeah I'm still upset. But what can you do? Can't make someone commit if they don't love you like you love them. Was so close to having my own family. But fate comes in and twists a knife into me again.

8 replies

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Update on my situation (Original Post) vercetti2021 Nov 2022 OP

There are pluses and minuses to all situations bucolic_frolic Nov 2022 #1

Great idea! SheltieLover Nov 2022 #5

Life goes on and remember, there are so many other things to experience out there. And I'm SWBTATTReg Nov 2022 #2

At the end of the day.... OAITW r.2.0 Nov 2022 #3

Some say, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Mister Ed Nov 2022 #4

This is my favorite line from Men In Black. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2022 #8

Relationships are a process, V. SheltieLover Nov 2022 #6

As difficult as it is right now, it's much better to find out BEFORE taking such a major step as BlackSkimmer Nov 2022 #7

bucolic_frolic

(43,511 posts)

1. There are pluses and minuses to all situations

Reply to vercetti2021 (Original post)

Sat Nov 19, 2022, 08:01 PM

Nov 2022

and I find in my life that often seemingly unrelated things keep showing up in unexpected ways in the important parts.

List the pluses and minuses. See how they fit into the big picture. Perhaps a change to this or that will offer a way forward.

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)

5. Great idea!

Reply to bucolic_frolic (Reply #1)

Sat Nov 19, 2022, 09:33 PM

Nov 2022

SWBTATTReg

(22,222 posts)

2. Life goes on and remember, there are so many other things to experience out there. And I'm

Reply to vercetti2021 (Original post)

Sat Nov 19, 2022, 08:21 PM

Nov 2022

not meaning just people either. Best of wishes to you.

OAITW r.2.0

(24,786 posts)

3. At the end of the day....

Reply to vercetti2021 (Original post)

Sat Nov 19, 2022, 08:46 PM

Nov 2022

enjoy your relationship. Marriage is not the end all, be all. Listen to her. if you want to maintain this relationship, you don't need to be married. Marriage is for 1st timers, the rest of us who have been through that, ought to appreciate a relationship without boundaries. IMHO.

Mister Ed

(5,951 posts)

4. Some say, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Reply to vercetti2021 (Original post)

Sat Nov 19, 2022, 08:55 PM

Nov 2022

Others say, "It is better to have loved and lost. Period."

Someday, you'll be able to look back and know which of these applies to your situation. Until then, I hope you can find comfort.

OldBaldy1701E

(5,217 posts)

8. This is my favorite line from Men In Black.

Reply to Mister Ed (Reply #4)

Sun Nov 20, 2022, 11:46 PM

Nov 2022

It still rings true to me. It means that 'better' is a relative term.

Personally, and I do not mean to be insulting or anything, it sounds to me as if you dodged a bullet. Imagine if you had gone through with a marriage and this came up later on? As they say on Barsoom, "A warrior may change his metal but not his heart." I hope things work out for you. HUGS!

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)

6. Relationships are a process, V.

Reply to vercetti2021 (Original post)

Sat Nov 19, 2022, 09:34 PM

Nov 2022

BlackSkimmer

(51,308 posts)

7. As difficult as it is right now, it's much better to find out BEFORE taking such a major step as