House's "for sale" sign makes suspiciously ominous claim

Take a walk through this beautiful home that is in no way inhabitated by the spirits of the dead, and you'll notice features like its three spacious bedrooms whose previous occupants were definitely not shot to death while they slept, walls that never bleed or moan incoherently, and a beautiful spiral staircase that totally doesn't tremble under the heavy, supernatural bootsteps of a vengeful ghost every morning at 4 a.m. The asking price is $300,000, but we'll give you 500 bucks just to spend one night.