a church. I'm not often in them, but when I am, for weddings and funerals, and to hear a church's pipe organ, I'm not bothered by other people's beliefs. But, then, I'm rarely bothered by other people's beliefs, unless those beliefs somehow harm others. Then, I'm bothered.

But sitting in a church through a service does not bother me. I can't really imagine why it would bother any atheist, frankly. We know that people have religious beliefs. We just don't share those beliefs.

and it has nothing to do with "people having religious beliefs."

she probably shouldn't attend. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, and I do attend when there is a reason to. I would not skip a friend's or relative's funeral or wedding, for example.

She made her statement. I made mine. I'm not criticizing hers.

but your post kind of read like she was a charter member of the He-Man Believers Haters Club (I saw REO live in the mid-80s). She was just saying she felt like a fraud and that the messages she was hearing made her uncomfortable.

I was offering my own, personal take on it. What this person I do not know does or feels is her concern.

You may not want to phrase your posts in the "Oddly enough this atheist doesn't have these problems" and "I have no idea why she would be uncomfortable" rhetoric, because it kind of makes you sound like you are putting yourself above that person's experiences.

Edited to add: Looks below like I'm not the only one to interpret it this way.

Others have their own. If I were uncomfortable, I wouldn't be there. It's not a matter of above or below. It's just individual.

and that original tone is what at least two people have reacted to. This is also a good example of it:

Well, perhaps you misread my tone. My "not understanding" doesn't mean that others feel the same way. It just means that I "don't understand" those feelings.

Again, I'm not talking about what others should or should not do. That's none of my business. I'm merely stating my own opinion and position.

You're more than welcome to read my posts however you wish, though. I think people should decide for themselves whether to enter churches or not. I assume that they do just that. However, I will attend a church service if there is a reason to do so, and I won't be disturbed by the religious elements of that service.

If, on the other hand, something harmful to others is preached in that church, I will rise and leave in the middle of the service. So far, no such thing has ever occurred in any service I've attended. I included a statement to that effect. But just religious stuff about religious stuff? I'm not bothered by it. I simply don't believe it.

I just avoid the situations that require being in a church.

I feel like a hypocrite and so very out of place.

No one does anything intentionally to make me uncomfortable.

They are not even aware that I am an Atheist.

I found for me personally, it is better if I just avoid churches altogether.

I'm just not bothered.

being preached?

How about a service where women were excluded from the main floor and forced to sit in the balcony?

Getting uncomfortable yet?

Nor would I be. The folks I know are ELCA Lutherans. So, their weddings and funerals tend to be in those churches.

If I were in a church like the one you describe, I would leave at once. However, I know which denominations tend to that sort of crap, and I would not be in them in the first place.

I don't find pipe organs in such churches, either.

you forgot to mention that you were self selecting houses of worship that won't make you uncomfortable. Not quite sure what your original point was.

My wife's relatives include some orthodox jews. Every family event with them is a fucking nightmare of uncomfortability because of their absurd misogynistic rule system, and their equally absurd food fetishism. Odd thing is half of them are very solid progressive liberals who have completely compartmentalized their religious life from their political viewpoint.

Your experiences and choices are different from mine. I'm not going to get into an argument with you over this.

I can understand completely why you just want to treat posting here as a monologue.

"But, then, I'm rarely bothered by other people's beliefs, unless those beliefs somehow harm others. Then, I'm bothered."

Or perhaps not. Again, I'm not going to get into an argument with you over this thread. With that I'm done.

in some churches because I don't take communion, I just feel like I'm disrespecting their religion and lying to them by taking it. I'm taking it from the perspective of being respectful to their faith, but I've had people give me funny looks when I say no to it. I'm just glad I only have to go like once a year.

Generally, there are others in any church I've been in who do not, either. At weddings and funerals, there are usually quite a few who do not, if it is offered, which it generally is not.

I also go to churches from time to time to hear their pipe organs, because I have an interest in pipe organs, and most of them are found in churches. There's a list of all of the pipe organs in churches in Minneapolis and St. Paul, and I have gone to hear the most interesting of those, and have others that I still want to hear. I have to sit through a service, but that's not an issue for me.

In Norwood Young America. I guess if I'd gone to a church in Minneapolis it would probably have not seemed so odd to the other parishioners that I was choosing not to participate out of respect. Small towns for ya, eh?

I probably wouldn't go to that church for anything.

I always thought there was some kind of rule that prohibited me from doing so, but I'm not sure.

I also don't kneel. No one has seemed to mind, but I'm generally not the only person "abstaining".

You are supposed to Catholic to take communion. You can go up and get a blessing from the priest, but shouldn't take communion if you aren't Catholic.

but, probably inconceivable for many in here, I treat it as a matter of respect.

I went to Mass with a couple of Catholics once who knew I wasn't Catholic. They didn't tell me not to take communion, so I did. I wonder if I'm going to hell.

I can't be a member of that church until they change their stance on women (as priests and regarding contraception) and LGBT justice, but I didn't want to make an issue for my friends' sake.

YOU, on the other hand, are burning for eternity

There are plenty of Catholics that I know who don't know that you have to be Catholic to take Catholic communion (via church rules). These same people also don't believe me that transubstantiation is dogma in the church. Why they are actually Catholics, then, is an interesting question.

Someone really needs to tell my rector, though.

Oh, takes me back to the seminary days.

instruction in the dogmas and practices of the Catholic faith.
It's not their fault that their parents, who had them baptized, never followed through with telling them what their faith was all about.

But I can imagine churches that would make me very uncomfortable, indeed. He may be asking her to go to one of those.

As I said, I'm rarely in churches, and usually only for family weddings and funerals.

The Religion: It Burns!

I'm not feeling it, somehow. For me, it just bores.

all i hear is loyalty tests, loyalty oaths, control and manipulation, etc.

it's actually fascinating when approached from that perspective.
not that i can share my findings with others there....

looking at the circular logic, etc. And then there's the music, of course. As a musician, I enjoy that, usually.

Certain sermon topics can be very offensive to an unbeliever.

And I sure understand her wanting to have some alone time.

Now, as the to second letter, what kind of job takes someone away for months at a time?

Please don't get me sucked back into Dear Abby. It took me months to wean off her last time.

Jobs in the oil industry.

Opening a new branch office or business in another state.

That's just seems like a long stretch.

That kind of behavior gives the rest of us a bad name.

No adult should be made to feel compelled to go to church.
It is a choice.
I happen to enjoy being there, but I understand church-going is not for everybody.

And she should remind him that she told him from the beginning that she is an atheist.
Forced church attendance is stupid in the extreme. If he wants to go, good for him. He's able to take his children for company, that should be enough people to keep him from feeling alone.

I've know plenty of people who will find a church while on vacation, and go alone, so as to never miss a week of mass. My grandma took me to Catholic Church when she visited, I got coloring books, she got whatever is it religious people get out of church that makes them happy. My dad never went with her, he did not believe anymore after the abuse by a nun. She previously tried to force him to go, and their relationship improved once he explained why he wouldn't go. I volunteered to go. I didn't realize how boring it would be. Baptist church is way funner. Plus cake, punch, and barbecue most Sundays seemed like a rule.

She had (and has) a beautiful, rich voice and I knew she'd give it her best in her own "element". We had a talk beforehand though. I let her know I wouldn't participate in rituals, expressions of faith, getting saved, etc. She got it right away, no problem.

Loved hearing her performance. And found the rest of it odd. Not uncomfortable so much but just different. (Had never been to an evangelical service before. Nor since.) And boy are they long.

on the husband to bring his wife along?

In the RC Church, it is not unusual for a husband or wife to attend Mass alone.
The other spouse may be of a different religion, or no religion, or could be tending to a young child or children, or may be ill.
There's no reason to make any judgment regarding why a spouse is not attending with his/her mate.