I can certainly relate to this post.

Like some kind of Tribal reconnection .........

K&R

I like that - it really does feel like a soul group, tribal type connection.

Annette

I had written (as nl) of my conductor, with whom I had a dual relationship off and on over nearly 3 decades. By day he conducted the chorus I sang with in the 80s and early 90s, and we had a tumultuous relationship. By night we were together in dreams. At first I thought the dreams were a psychological working out of our daytime relationship. And then the night before a concert I dreamed I was with him at his apartment. Several men started banging on a door or window and he jumped up and yelled, "There's a fire! We've got to get out of here!' and ran out. I tumbled through space and ended up hovering near the ceiling in the corner of a kitchen. He was sitting at the end of the kitchen table, with 2 young women, drinking coffee. He said, "They won't let us back in the building because there are still hot spots." I woke up; it was 2am. I fell back to sleep and by morning had forgotten the dream.

That afternoon I headed to the concert. John was there (early for him) in his street clothes. I overheard him telling the concert manager that the fire department had not them back in his building because there were still hot spots. He conducted without music in a borrowed tux that night. Our dreams continued and then I started to go into trances and have clairvoyant experiences that, like the dream, later proved to be true.

Our careers simultaneously took off in 94 and I stopped singing. I didn't see him again until '04 when he started appearing in dreams and asking "What happened?" Angry and hurt, I blew him off even in my sleep until Sept. 07 when he appeared clairvoyantly. We had a conscious, clairvoyant relationship for 3 months and then one evening I "popped in" and found him very upset. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but told me he couldn't be with me right now. I didn't 'see' him again until February 08 or so, when he told me he wanted to take care of me. I told him to do what he needed to do, that whatever happened I loved him, had always loved him and would always love him. I remember laughing/crying with a friend to leave it to me to be dumped by a fantasy!

3 years later, in January '11 he reappeared. That was when I learned he had been admitted to a nursing home with early onset alzheimers in '09. I have since learned that in early 08 he "curtailed his activities" due to his disease. He was 'with me' throughout my clinical training last winter and spring.

I was hoping to visit him during a break, but he told me he didn't want me to see him this way, he wanted me to remember him the way he was. I had a vision of calling the nursing home after my clinicals ended and being told I was too late, he had died 2 days earlier.

So instead, against my better judgement, I googled him the weekend before finals week and found his memorial site; he had died 3 days earlier.

Since his death last may, I have had 2 brief conversations with him. I am healed in our relationship. For nearly 30 years I carried the pain -- a knot in the thymus area -- of an unrealized relationship. I am free of that now, and he has taken it on. Apparently he returned not to start our relationship anew, but to say goodbye.

I remember reading your story in the past but I didn't know the latest update. I'm sorry for your loss, but don't have to tell you that he isn't gone - he will be there to cross you over and is as close as a thought away.

Your story could be a book or movie, you know? And how interesting that you are able to "straddle" timelines and alternate realities in your dream state. That is a gift. Have you tried to flex this spiritual muscle in any situations besides this relationship of spirit? Have you done any research on lucid dreaming? Sounds like you are a natural.

Shine on,
Annette

but haven't found a way into the book yet. I did come up with another way to approach it this past summer. Possibly this winter; I need to work out my finances first, or we'll all freeze by spring

And, I've tried, but the more I try the more elusive lucid dreaming, etc. becomes I've had rare clairvoyant and precognitive dreams in other situations, and a few times conscious clairvoyant visions that were emotionally highly charged, with certain of my animals. I communicate with my old gelding, Algiers, with Jake and with other animals, through mental 'pictograms.'

I communicated regularly with my spirit guides until the spring of 2001. Then everything fell silent. The same thing happened to a friend of mine (and her colleagues) who is a gifted astrologer and polarity therapist. All of us suddenly "shut down" in the same time period after years and decades of strong connection.

Okay..I used to have regular clairvoyant dreams (mostly just remembered later as deja-vu) UNTIL spring 2001. However, I've always put their cessation down to the fact that my fiance died suddenly then..in May. I wonder...

An dear friend who I haven't seen in about 15 yrs. we recently got in touch through fb. He e-mailed me fri nite and said he would be in town Sun. He works for the airlines now and had a layover for the day. It was so great to see him after all these years, we were room mates for about 6 yrs. we laughed and had such a good time, like all that time between us never happened. I really needed that.

I have found that the true friendships can just pick up where they left off.