End of Life Issues
Related: About this forumShe is gone.
My beloved soulmate, Kathleen Farago May, died today. She was 65 years old, and had been suffering from ovarian cancer for the last five months. In the end the suffering proved too much to bear, especially given that there was no chance of recovery.
Her transition happened as she had wished - peacefully at home, without pain, with serenity, awareness and deep curiosity.
The world will miss Kathy's wisdom, insight, love, humour and her overflowing creativity.
Her spirit will live on in the memories and hearts of all who knew her, as well as in the thousands of sublime works of art she created during her lifetime. Her soul has become an integral part of the world and the deeper Mystery, as it has always been.
Kathleen, we who love you honour your life, and wish you a safe, joyous and transcendent journey.
Kathy was born on May 24, 1952 in Budapest Hungary. She escaped into Austria with her parents in the final wave of refugees in 1956 by walking out across snow-covered marshes, one of the youngest children to take that route. She came as a refugee to Montreal, where she spent the next 16 years. She then spent 11 years in London Ontario where we first met in 1972, 13 years in Rochester New York, and 14 years in Los Angeles, where we were finally re-united. She spent her last seven years in Ottawa, making art full time.
She realized she was an artist at the age of five. She was especially prolific during the last decade, thanks to her embrace of digital art and fractals. She has left us an enormous body of work, literally thousands of digital paintings. Her images have caused many of her fans to say that they feel they are looking at the structure of reality itself, or perhaps getting a glimpse into their own souls. Spending time with Kathleen's work is a transcendent experience. I will always treasure the memory of watching her at work, as her Muses channeled the inspiration that flowed from her hands onto the computer screen.
Bodhi Paul Chefurka
Kathleen has asked me to share this last message with the world.
I have decided to take my leave, based on the current state of my body and quality of life. I regret only that I dont have the energy left to say an individual goodbye to each of you. I celebrate that you have each been in my life and my heart! Your friendship and love have been a pillar of strength in my life and they are treasures that I will carry with me into the mystery that awaits. Please know that the brevity of this note only reflects my waning energy, not any absence of depth of emotion and appreciation. I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life and hope that you can feel how much you each have meant to me. Thank you for all that you have done and been to me I will see you on the other side, or perhaps even before!
Kathleen Farago May
Chasstev365
(5,191 posts)LisaM
(27,850 posts)But, I am very sorry for your loss.
Autumn
(45,120 posts)Peace.
ret5hd
(20,563 posts)Maybe you could share that with us.
The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)raven mad
(4,940 posts)calimary
(81,597 posts)Those images are utterly hypnotic. They just suck you right in. Each one could be an all-day meditation.
Much love and solace to you, The_jackalope. Thank you so much for sharing her story, and telling us about her art. Her name and her work will live on, and will continue to inspire wonder.
xxqqqzme
(14,887 posts)Thank you for sharing.
Sorry to learn of your loss.
dhill926
(16,387 posts)sounds like you guys got it right. Sorry for your loss...
Phoenix61
(17,025 posts)It sounds like her passing was peaceful and on her own terms.
LyndaG
(683 posts)She sounded like a wonderful person.
Ilsa
(61,712 posts)Her farewell was beautifully written. I can see that the world is a lesser place without her obvious presence.
catrose
(5,079 posts)It sounds like her memory will be a blessing to many.
catbyte
(34,538 posts)something of what you're feeling. What a lovely tribute to an extraordinary woman. Again, please accept my deepest condolences.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)both were grateful to be in a time and place that this was an option in an early post.
Take some comfort in knowing she was able to transition as she wished in peace on her own timeline.
Thank you for your inspiring message Kathleen.
onecaliberal
(32,996 posts)Squinch
(51,087 posts)I wish you peace. You have clearly had great love in your life.
shenmue
(38,506 posts)Docreed2003
(16,902 posts)Such a beautiful tribute to her legacy and spirit!
TygrBright
(20,780 posts)...to all who knew her, to all whose lives she touched, to all inspired by her story.
May comfort flow to you in your loss, and may the space of her physical absence be filled with the consolation of memory.
And may the beauty of her legacy live forever.
respectfully,
Bright
blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)BadgerMom
(2,772 posts)MrScorpio
(73,631 posts)godsentme
(73 posts)I've been reading your posts about your journey with Kathleen. I am touched beyond words. I rarely post comments but your beautiful tribute moved me to say Thank you for sharing. Peace to you and Peaceful passing to Kathleen.
Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)handmade34
(22,759 posts)GeorgeGist
(25,326 posts)MLAA
(17,369 posts)CanonRay
(14,142 posts)But treasure the wonderful li you got to share.
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)yardwork
(61,785 posts)pnwmom
(109,024 posts)Rest in Peace, Kathleen Farago May.
And The_jackalope, may you find some consolation in your memories of the years you had together.
barbtries
(28,821 posts)i hope when it's my time i will have so much courage, love and faith.
a tiny bit of advice from a bereaved mother: look for the signs. peace and comfort to you in your grief. PM me any time if you ever need to vent.
chillfactor
(7,588 posts)I am glad it was peaceful....keep her locked in your heart....she will always be there until you see her again.
Amaryllis
(9,527 posts)of you yesterday and hoping it was a very special last day for you with your beloved Kathleen.
denbot
(9,901 posts)Peace to you and yours.
JohnnyLib2
(11,212 posts)and what a wonderful spirit was displayed in her message.
May that spirit, and the good memories, sustain you.
montana_hazeleyes
(3,424 posts)I am glad you had such great love together. Her letter brought tears to my eyes. I could feel the special goodness in her.
Eko
(7,418 posts)Keep on keeponing. I found this after my dad passed, I still watch it and cry for happiness, maybe it will touch you like it touched me.
"The universe is in us"
Peace.
SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)benld74
(9,911 posts)mobeau69
(11,169 posts)Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
The_REAL_Ecumenist
(730 posts)Blessing and peace to you and safe journey home to Kathleen....
Shanti Mama
(1,288 posts)I feel deeply blessed to be a witness of sorts to your lives and her death. May peace be with you.
onecent
(6,096 posts)TNNurse
(6,931 posts)because it replaces the pain they have suffered. We can do it for them.
JHan
(10,173 posts)Sorry for your loss.
ms liberty
(8,626 posts)OldManTarHeel
(435 posts)The loss of a life partner can be devastating . . Godspeed.
democrank
(11,112 posts)Rest In Peace, Kathleen Farago May.
a kennedy
(29,771 posts)To my loved ones:
I have decided to take my leave, based on the current state of my body and quality of life. I regret only that I dont have the energy left to say an individual goodbye to each of you. I celebrate that you have each been in my life and my heart! Your friendship and love have been a pillar of strength in my life and they are treasures that I will carry with me into the mystery that awaits. Please know that the brevity of this note only reflects my waning energy, not any absence of depth of emotion and appreciation. I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life and hope that you can feel how much you each have meant to me. Thank you for all that you have done and been to me I will see you on the other side, or perhaps even before!
Kathleen Farago May
world wide wally
(21,760 posts)volstork
(5,403 posts)snacker
(3,619 posts)Sorry for your loss. Your tribute to her is lovely, and her message to the world is beautiful.
broadcaster90210
(333 posts)nt
Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)No Vested Interest
(5,167 posts)CrispyQ
(36,562 posts)I loved this: She realized she was an artist at the age of five.
FakeNoose
(32,897 posts)It is the absolute worst! The cure for cancer is out there and we just aren't trying hard enough to find it.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry the world has lost Kathleen. Thanks for sharing her story with us.
Peace to you, Jackalope!
mountain grammy
(26,668 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss.
riversedge
(70,445 posts)dflprincess
(28,094 posts)Be kind to yourself in the following days and weeks.
cilla4progress
(24,800 posts)Peace to you now, Jackalope.
I'm sure you are comforted by the many memories and artworks, while missing your soulmate terribly.
Don't hesitate to share. ❤️
kimbutgar
(21,278 posts)She left this dimension knowing she was safe and loved. Take comfort brother.
sharedvalues
(6,916 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person. I hope you carry her fondly in your memory. It's so hard to have one phase of your life end when a loved one dies and find new peace and forge a new life going forward.
murielm99
(30,783 posts)But she sounds like a wonderful person, who went out the way she chose.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
riverbendviewgal
(4,254 posts)The world has lost a wonderful artist. Her works will live on. May you find comfort and peace,
EllieBC
(3,052 posts)may you know no more sorrow.
sinkingfeeling
(51,493 posts)to the Great Unknown. Her art and her spirit will always be with you.
I wish you peace.
Duppers
(28,132 posts)They convey such love and understanding.
You remember, she rests in the grace of the universe. We all are, were, and will always be stars made conscious.
May you continue in her love, peace, and knowledge.
progressoid
(50,016 posts)Pepsidog
(6,254 posts)Though I am new to DU it seems like some very thoughtful people participate. I am sorry this eloquent voice is now silent. RIP
WheelWalker
(8,957 posts)SonofDonald
(2,050 posts)She will live forever as part of the universe as will we all, she will always be with you.
My deepest condolences.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)central scrutinizer
(11,666 posts)And I still cry often. Like your loved one, she was a wonderful person. I don't want to "snap out of it." Somebody that special will leave a hole that can't be filled, that you don't want to fill. I will grieve as long as I breathe. I want to give you a hug and any support I can share.
3catwoman3
(24,120 posts)From you, The-jackalope, from your beloved Kathleen, and from DU members. I cannot think of anything to add that has not already been said, other than to say again how much I respect and admire the strength, grit, grace and determination you have both shown in this most challenging time.
Bettie
(16,147 posts)I can only imagine how hard it was to say good bye to your beloved.
SergeStorms
(19,204 posts)I can't imagine the feelings you're experiencing right now. Kathleen sounded like a very kind, gentle, loving soul, and I'm sorry I never met her. Her suffering is now over. I hope you're doing well, and thanks for letting your family at DU know.
For Kathleen Farago May
jmbar2
(4,920 posts)I checked out her artwork with the help of Google. It is magnificent.
It is said that you are not really gone until no one can remember that you existed. Today, your beloved Kathleen exists for many who never had the blessing to meet her.
My deepest condolences.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)Moral Compass
(1,530 posts)There is no way to make the pain go away. Indeed, it will surge into you later--unanticipated and uninvited--when some random thing triggers your memory.
But you describe a rich life and a parting from that life chosen rather than imposed.
I don't know you, but I've felt loss before and can sympathize and I offer my heartfelt condolences.
Bless you and bless her.
madaboutharry
(40,245 posts)and allowing us to know a little about her. She must have been inspiring to those around her. My warmest thoughts to those who loved her.
MontanaMama
(23,367 posts)on the loss of your beloved Kathleen. These are difficult days to be sure. Please be gentle with yourself. You have touched me by sharing your journey. Thank you dear jackalope. Safe home, Kathleen.
brer cat
(24,651 posts)A lovely tribute, Jackalope.
raven mad
(4,940 posts)jackalope, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. We will always be here for you, always.
AllyCat
(16,263 posts)What a beautiful tribute you have written. Safe passage to Kathleen's incredible energy. May peace find you in your grief.
GP6971
(31,269 posts)I went through the exact same scenario 12 years ago. We all are honored and graced to know and love such a person.
Iggo
(47,596 posts)PatrickforO
(14,604 posts)the transition while we're left here.
But, man, her art! You know what my favorite is? The one of her hugging the tree, called Love of Life. Her memory will live on as long as this body of artwork inspires us.
AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,854 posts)dae
(3,396 posts)gopiscrap
(23,768 posts)you are in my thoughts and prayers what an amazing women!!!
herding cats
(19,569 posts)When it's my time I can only hope someone will memorialize me with such love and passion.
I send you peace and gentle thoughts tonight. May the winds between us carry them to your home and deliver them to your heart.
RestoreAmerica2020
(3,439 posts)Solly Mack
(90,801 posts)Lovely tribute.
KT2000
(20,605 posts)So sorry for your loss, peace to you.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)which says volumes about you also, and how courageously you faced such a hard, and loving, decision.
DarthDem
(5,257 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss. She was clearly a fantastic, beloved person. Your words and hers are deeply moving. Best wishes.
The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)You were blessed.
ATL Ebony
(1,097 posts)R.I.P. Ms Kathleen Farago May.
tavernier
(12,416 posts)Danmel
(4,943 posts)Wishing you strength and peace.
peacebuzzard
(5,184 posts)For the loss of Kathleen.
Words are hard to find.
lostnfound
(16,201 posts)Rest In Peace to your beautiful soulmate.
We feel great pain with great loss, which is a sign that we were truly blessed, and our hearts make a giant hole, to make room for keeping our loved one whole and giving them the space to keep living.
deek
(3,414 posts).
Gothmog
(145,894 posts)marked50
(1,373 posts)lunatica
(53,410 posts)It swells my chest with emotion. You were blessed, but you already know this. I think you will feel her presence always.
I hope my passing will be as dignified.
GoneOffShore
(17,345 posts)NewJeffCT
(56,829 posts)you have my condolences.
Initech
(100,143 posts)Denis 11
(280 posts)Very sorry for your loss.
Borchkins
(724 posts)RIP
gademocrat7
(10,684 posts)NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm glad she went "peacefully at home, without pain, with serenity, awareness and deep curiosity."
iluvtennis
(19,907 posts)CousinIT
(9,273 posts)If this is hers, it's VERY beautiful. Ethereal.
The_jackalope
(1,660 posts)hamsterjill
(15,224 posts)She must've been a very special soul. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your tribute is beautiful, and I'm sure she's smiling down on you.
niyad
(113,927 posts)Lochloosa
(16,084 posts)Dark n Stormy Knight
(9,776 posts)Condolences to both of you for the loss this transition brings. May the memory of the beautiful union always be a part of what sustains you.
redstatebluegirl
(12,265 posts)ck4829
(35,096 posts)Ninga
(8,282 posts)MuseRider
(34,136 posts)Your strength through this has been amazing. I hope it continues to hold you up as you do the grief work still ahead of you. For now please accept my condolences to you. You and your wife are a perfect example of love and the ability to understand one another and do the right thing.
Be at peace, you were a wonderful husband to her. I will be thinking of you both.
RIP Kathleen Farago May May your journey be peaceful and interesting.
sdfernando
(4,948 posts)Moostache
(9,897 posts)May she rest in peace and live on in your memories.
2naSalit
(86,936 posts)Beacool
(30,254 posts)Before commenting I looked her up online. Her art is fantastic, I would have loved to own a piece. It's beautiful work. I uploaded Aries, my astrological symbol, so that others can see her work.
She seems to have been a wonderful person, aside from being a talented artist. My condolences to you and your loved ones.
Permanut
(5,706 posts)Thanks for sharing your journey (and hers) with us.
TrollBuster9090
(5,955 posts)I'll look forward to meeting her on the other side.
In the meantime, my deepest condolences to you.
alfredo
(60,082 posts)NNadir
(33,586 posts)Condolences on the loss, and congratulations on having been with her.