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mommymarine2003

(261 posts)

41. Unless you are 12 years old and your molester is a "highly respected" minister

Thu Oct 13, 2016, 11:25 PM

Oct 2016

That happened to my daughter. We did not find out until 12 years later. She repressed it and went from a very happy child to someone who had many issues. We thought she was safe attending youth group. He took her to a private area of the church. The church is over a 100 years old and had a secret room behind the pipe organ. He started out with flattery and made her feel special.

We took her to a sexual assault counselor when we found out. We wanted to have him arrested, but first the statute of limitations had ended. Second, she had to be emotionally ready to handle what she would face in court. The Presbyterian church has lots of money for good lawyers. She is still not ready to this day. I know where he is, as he has moved several times, but I make it a point to periodically check on where he has relocated. I know that she must not be the only one he has molested through the years.

We have not been able to attend church after this. Our sons do not want anything to do with organized religion. And then I watch the Evangelicals support a monster like Trump. It turns my stomach.

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Highlight:

Why didn't you tell someone when it happened? [View all] boston bean Oct 2016 OP

knowing that the police, hospitals, etc., will probably treat you like crap (like the niyad Oct 2016 #1

Not hospitals in my experience elias7 Oct 2016 #71

women who have gone to catholic hospitals have had quite different experiences. niyad Oct 2016 #73

Boston, with love and gratitude, it's not just about feelings Small Accumulates Oct 2016 #2

That is the truth. Thank you! boston bean Oct 2016 #3

Thank you. Small Accumulates Oct 2016 #8

I had some today myself. Michelle Obama's speech brought it all home. boston bean Oct 2016 #10

She was WUNNNNderful! calimary Oct 2016 #48

^^^Thank you^^^ onecaliberal Oct 2016 #18

Jack Kingston, a Trump surrogate, sarae Oct 2016 #4

Kingston should have been asked why he hadn't read the article she wrote csziggy Oct 2016 #17

And when it comes to us, how the (male-centric)world treats us BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2016 #31

^ BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2016 #29

Well, duh: The problem isn't want he DID, it's that she stayed QUIET about it!!! Beartracks Oct 2016 #39

The fear of being sued awoke_in_2003 Oct 2016 #40

Yep... sarae Oct 2016 #61

Also blogslut Oct 2016 #5

True. boston bean Oct 2016 #7

yes. BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2016 #32

And look at the reaction right now gratuitous Oct 2016 #6

And the women participating in it provides a different piece of hell. boston bean Oct 2016 #12

Maybe being treated like it was YOUR fault that you were assaulted if you do report it. 4lbs Oct 2016 #9

All very true! boston bean Oct 2016 #13

It is a silent crime. sheshe2 Oct 2016 #11

So true, she!! boston bean Oct 2016 #16

And even worse when the abuser is a sue-happy billionaire with a team of lawyers bhikkhu Oct 2016 #14

One only has to look to Bill Cosby to understand how this all works in real life for women. boston bean Oct 2016 #15

K&R Solly Mack Oct 2016 #19

kick . . . annabanana Oct 2016 #20

This message was self-deleted by its author kestrel91316 Oct 2016 #21

I accepted it was all my fault. erinlough Oct 2016 #22

K&R... spanone Oct 2016 #23

Because I was six years old LiberalLoner Oct 2016 #24

My deepest sympathies, LiberalLoner MotorCityMan Oct 2016 #38

Thank you so much. I am sorry for what you endured, too, LiberalLoner Oct 2016 #52

I am so sorry that happened to you and your mother abused you again. nt raccoon Oct 2016 #62

Thank you. It happened to way too many of us, male and female both. LiberalLoner Oct 2016 #64

I was molested by a man twice my weight and 6" taller than me when I was 21 years old.... George II Oct 2016 #25

This message was self-deleted by its author Kathy M Oct 2016 #26

There's a #WhyDon'tWomenReport iandhr Oct 2016 #27

I was 7 MFM008 Oct 2016 #28

You confided in a friend at a time who told you spooky3 Oct 2016 #30

boston bean, you have me in tears here MotorCityMan Oct 2016 #33

I'm glad you are still here, I'm glad you had a fighting spirit and didn't let the evil win. LiberalLoner Oct 2016 #53

Another reason: moonscape Oct 2016 #34

Yes, that. SticksnStones Oct 2016 #57

That one too! Very true for me as well. boston bean Oct 2016 #60

You can't sacrifice your career. herding cats Oct 2016 #35

Because I was 11 when it started and deeply conflicted. manicraven Oct 2016 #36

I'm gonna share this with a friend who I've been very angry with. BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2016 #37

Unless you are 12 years old and your molester is a "highly respected" minister mommymarine2003 Oct 2016 #41

Or if you're 22 and convinced yourself you deserved it Rose Siding Oct 2016 #65

BECAUSE HE SAID, SHE SAID. we WERE NOT BELIEVED BEFORE. pansypoo53219 Oct 2016 #42

There was a time, and in some relationships today, asiliveandbreathe Oct 2016 #43

I am so often embarrassed to be a male. Stonepounder Oct 2016 #44

The denouement of your story reminds me of another ColemanMaskell Oct 2016 #49

Thank you, BB. brer cat Oct 2016 #45

All outrageous; but Child sexual abuse is the worst; and it is so appallingly commonplace ColemanMaskell Oct 2016 #46

Because it's emotionally exhausting LeftyMom Oct 2016 #47

....and many more. N/t Mira Oct 2016 #50

Not about feeling. TygrBright Oct 2016 #51

Maybe it's because madamesilverspurs Oct 2016 #54

Because all of the above Pachamama Oct 2016 #55

You will be blamed for it Behind the Aegis Oct 2016 #56

K&R betsuni Oct 2016 #58

K&R smirkymonkey Oct 2016 #59

So many people decry what Trump said, yet deny women's claims of mistreatment. alarimer Oct 2016 #63

Long time ago, recently "recovered" but long time repressed... CTyankee Oct 2016 #66

Message auto-removed Name removed Oct 2016 #67

With regard to reporting groping (sexual assault) ecstatic Oct 2016 #74

Federal law on groping (aka "Abusive Sexual Contact") ColemanMaskell Oct 2016 #77

Fear Of Job Loss EOM otohara Oct 2016 #75

Feeling like you did nothing to have someone grab you like that kimbutgar Oct 2016 #76

At the time Donald was as good as a NOBODY sanatanadharma Oct 2016 #78

Interesting Article on this very topic in Huffington Post today ColemanMaskell Oct 2016 #79

Dec 1969 #