Reply #160: Interesting [View All]

Most of the people in this thread have no clue what they're talking about and it is not based in reality.

None of these people (or hardly any) have any clue whatsoever what it's like to be raised with a disabled sibling and *know* you're going to have to care for that sibling for life.

It's not glorious, or some imaginary sky-fairy's plan or any other such nonsense.

It's thankless and horrible and fucks up your life in ways that people who haven't had to do it will never, ever, ever realize.

All that said, this person still your sibling and even though it sucks more than half the time, you take care of them because the thought of putting them into an institution is much, much worse than what you're taking on. Because being raised with them, you love them, it's part of being human and the thought of hiring people at minimum wage - people who are being forced to do a thankless job because of economic reality won't give a fuck and will treat your family member like shit --- that's what makes you do it - even though it sucks. You didn't choose to have the kid - your parents did -- but you're the one to take it on when they can't any longer. Even if you can't afford it economically or mentally -- And when I say "you're" it's almost always the female siblings. Another shitty fact of life.

And if the person lives beyond all of their siblings, good luck finding someone in the next generation, who hasn't been raised with the person, who hasn't made the sacrifices because they know and love the person as a person - and not some abstract idea -- to take on the burden.

A 50 year sacrifice will be naught because the next generation isn't so personally involved and will probably warehouse the person.

So yeah, thinking about the consequences to all of the people involved would be a good fucking idea.