Regret, Repent, Repair (For Mopaul & Others w/Bush Voting Relatives) [View All]

I'm preaching for one of the smartest things I ever learned about Forgiveness: We forgive others because it benefits US.

So, I will start this post by stating that I believe we should FORGIVE those who voted for Bush, and welcome them back into the fold -- but not without them doing something about the problem THEY helped create.

You see, forgiving others does NOT mean there are no consequences for their actions.

The previous Pope was shot. He publicly and privately forgave the person who shot him, but NEVER requested he be released from prison. The consequence of aiming a gun and shooting it at a person was prison. Forgiveness did NOT mean a release from CONSEQUENCES.

One of the most difficult things I have had to learn was how to "forgive" acts of physical violence perpetrated by those who claimed to love me. I had been raised with the story of "forgive them seventy times seven times", and believed this with all of my heart -- AND I loved the ones who were doing it to me. A very wise person pointed out the teachings I was attempting to emulate were also telling me TO LOVE MYSELF, and that if I loved myself, then I would *NOT* put myself in a place where physical abuse could occur. I could love the folks who were doing it, and I could forgive them their transgression -- BUT THAT DIDN'T MEAN I NEEDED TO BE AROUND THEM.

To love and forgive someone FROM A DISTANCE was one of the most important lessons I have ever learned. For all abuse victims everywhere, I encourage them to emulate this ideal: Love yourself, and love your perpetrators FROM A DISTANCE.

But when someone truly seems to be sorry for what they have done, and they want things to be better, what then? That is where "Regret, Repent & Repair" comes into the picture.

When someone who has perpetrated acts of violence (or stupidity) against you (or your country) gets to the point where they TRULY REGRET what they have done, I believe it is incumbent on all of us to offer them a chance to REBUILD the relationship.

But its not free. There are consequences, and if someone TRULY wishes to make amends, then I suggest "Regret, Repent & Repair."

Regret -- where the person acknowledges they have done something wrong, and apologizes for it.

Example: "I am sorry I voted for Bush. I was wrong."

Repent -- where the person promises to do better next time.

Example: "I will not be supportive of Bush and his agenda any longer."

Repair -- where the person DOES SOMETHING to REPAIR the relationship.

Example: "I will put an anti-Bush bumper sticker on my car. I will phone bank for a Democratic candidate during the next election. I will write a letter to my local paper expressing my dissatisfaction with Bush and his administration. Etc..."

If someone truly wants to REPAIR a broken relationship, I believe they should be offered the opportunity to do so. Give them a specific "do this" task. (Only you can determine what you need them to do; be reasonable, please, and make it something attainable.) It is a concrete way of SHOWING they are sorry. If they aren't willing to do it, you can still forgive them, but remember this:

You can love them from a distance, too, and a hearty "F*CK Y*U" is something you can always repent about later.

:)