Reply #23: I think a lot of people feel that way.. [View All]

you know, the wondering "why the hell can't I feel this person/ why don't I dream of him/her" etc... we hear so much about how others grieve (or maybe how we're supposed to think others grieve) and it's just, for me at least, very oddly alienating. Like, you know there's a hole in your life, so where are the feelings? There's sadness, or anger, or bewilderment, especially if you lose someone unexpectedly, but I used to feel like a shit when I wasn't just overwhelmed at my grandmother's death in the immediate aftermath (different from a husband but she was just a wonderful woman) and then I saw, one day, as I was rummaging through some boxes a little bead bell she made (she used to make lots of them) and I just had this overpowering feeling of her. Doesn't happen with her photograph (or not many of them) but it does with some of her things, esp. the things she made.

Anyway, it does happen, more often than not, I think, just as it happened to you... something out of the blue pops at you and you say "oh yes, there you are". And I don't think that ever stops happening.