Reply #5: They are strictly sound effects! [View All]

I was joking the other day that would be an impossible feat. You wouldn't want them turning on the audience. :D

They bark every time before I enter. I have fun doing something different each time - shaking my fist out the door. Pretending the door is pushing back, etc.

In another scene I am reading a Red Ryder BB gun ad that Ralphie planted on the back of my newspaper: "Need to plug yourself some varmints, saddle pards? Take a look at this legendary, official...", and the hounds start barking, so I smile and say "hmmmm!" looking into the distance daydreaming... Mother takes the paper way from me and I say "Just a thought! Just a thought!"

When they get the turkey, the crew knocks over the kitchen table, chairs, and (now empty) roasting pan on the floor in the dark. I am on the sofa in the living room with the paper, and with alarm cry out: "Bumpus hounds! Turkey!" Then I run to the kitchen, lights go up, and I run to the kitchen door screaming, "Bumpuses! You songs of business! You frabjabblin wangdoodling Bumpuses!!!" I have to say, the way I wrangle out the word "wangdoodling" works beautifully. :-)

Then Mother and the kids appear, and I turn around to say "The Bumpus hounds got the turkey!"

My favorite part immediately follows - "Here you hounds of hell! Why don't you take the roasting pan too?" And I hurl it out the door. In lightning succession, I grab pots and pans from the stove, and say "And the sweet potatoes!" (throw) "And the rolls!" (throw) "And the creamed corn!" (throw) and then with manic half-crazed energy I almost fly from the door... "WHERE'S THE PIE?"

Mother is crying, and the kids are stunned. I suddenly go sad with regret at my outburst and comfort her. Then after the narrartor does his "turkey gravy, turkey soup, all gone!" bit, I suggest we hit "the chop suey joint".

Comic gold, I am tellin' ya! :D