Dept. of Homeland Security Man is keeping us down man [View All]

Chong: Hey, just a minute, man. Now, how'd he do that, man?

Cheech: Oh, well, man, he took da freeway. How else, man?

Chong: No, man. No, man, how'd he do all that other stuff, man? Like, how'd he make himself small, man. And, how'd he, like, how'd he get the reindeer off the ground, man?

Cheech: Oh, well, man, he had some magic dust, man.

Chong: Some magic dust?

Cheech: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, a little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more...

Chong: And this would get the reindeer off, man?

Cheech: Aw, got 'em off, man?!? Are you kidding, man? They flew all da way around da world, man!

Chong: Hey, that's far out, man! Hey, I come I never met this dude, man?

Cheech: Oh, man, he doesn't do that bit anymore, man. It got too dangerous, man.

Chong: Yeah, I can dig that, man, 'cause that's a dangerous bit, man!

Cheech: Yeah, lemme tell ya, it sure was, man. Like just two years ago, man, he got stopped at the border, y'know, and they took him into another room and took off his clothes, man, and searched him and searched his bag of goodies, man...and then, when he was leaving, man, he was flying through the air and somebody took a chot and his reindeer, y'know.

Chong: Aw, that's a drag, man.

Cheech: Yeah, it really was, man. And then, man, he went down south, man, and they tried to cut of his hair and his beard, man. And all the time, he was getting stopped and pulled over and asked for his ID, man...just everywhere he went, he ran into too much recession, man.

Chong: No, man, you mean he ran into too much REPRESSION, man.

Cheech: Aw, repression...recession...it's all da same thing, man.

Chong: Yeah, man. But, it's a drag, man, 'cause we could sure use a dude like that right now.

And that is how the Dept of Homeland Security, the red states, and archaic drug laws killed Santa Claus.