Reply #17: If you had the money, and the woman [View All]

did appear genuine, you did the right thing.

Currently, there is very little coming into my own coffers. I have none right now, except for food stamps, and a monthly "benefit" of $300. That's IT.

Yesterday, a guy was standing in front of a Dunkin Donuts asking for handouts. Considering I had just come from the welfare office, where I had to be issued a new card, and that I had $30 to my name (quite literally--I have no savings or any other assets), I knew that I was hardly the one to be asked. In the downtown area, there are several shelters, as well as the YMCA and other places, so I didn't think that he was going to go without his "coffee" for very long.

One day I went shopping. My car isn't working, so I've been having to take the bus a lot. I bought food, and asked for the customer service person to call me a cab, which they will happily do. I didn't have any money on me--I was going to use my debit/MC card to pay the cab, which would have been about $5. Well, the cab driver got there, and wouldn't take me home, saying he didn't take credit cards. I had to walk home, in what was about 80 degree heat, and it's over a mile, and for me right now, that's a very long walk, especially with a cart of groceries. I ended up home about an hour later, so exhausted that I took about another half hour or so taking up the groceries, and going into the bed for a few hours. I was still exhausted the next day. I did not have the temerity to "beg" for a handout, and no one even glanced my way on the walk home.

Most people won't ask for a handout, even if they only have a thin dime to their name. Others do it shamelessly. When I was living in L.A., we had one guy who was a "regular" at the end of the exit ramp. He stayed there on that corner as if it were his "job" to work the ramp. He disappeared for a week once, and we all joked he was in Florida on vacation. Most of us wouldn't give him a penny, and rightfully so.

Sometimes there is a legitimate need--I've been stranded once or twice, where I've had to ask (as a last effort) for money, but it's always been like 50¢ to make a phone call. I would never conceive of asking for more than that. And most honest people won't ask for help from strangers--they would call the police, a store manager, or other person who has the authority to help.