Reply #12: Many women with low self esteem let things happen to happen [View All]

Dating my first serious boy friend was like that for me. He was turned down for homecoming by my prettier, more outgoing sister so he asked me. I accepted because I felt lucky to be going out with a guy. I continued to date him even though he was a loser and was always trying to put me down to feel better about himself because I didn't think that I was attractive enough for the guys who I would have preferred to date. I dated him for a whole year.
I concentrated on my studies and activities before meetinging a hot college guy, originally from the area, at a party. I didn't worry that he appeared to have a serious alcohol problem because I was thrilled that such a hot guy would want me. Perhaps, it was good that he couldn't continue to see after his involvement in the criminal justice system.
I had only a couple more dating experiences before meeting my husband. In none of my experiences was I the pursuer although I had tried to pursue a couple guys before who weren't interested in me. In each case, I accepted because I thought that the guy was more attractive or "popular" than me, not thinking if he was actually someone who was good for me.
As an adult, I realize that many women are like this. We are fed this image that to get a desirable man, who is defined by his attractiveness, social poweress, traditional masculinity, and wealth we have to be a supermodel. If we feel less than a supermodel, we tend to let things happen to us when such a man arrives. We don't pursue men we like. We let things happen to us.