Reply #33: 1st marriage = hell; 2nd = heaven; 18 years of purgatory in between... [View All]

First time out, I got married *way* too young. Was very immature (both of us were, actually).

Lived and loved the single life as a bit of an ascetic, with occasional dips and plunges into the pool of serial monogamy, but no knot-tying.

After 18 years (give or take a month) of this pattern, I fell crazy in love with a woman who was/is frighteningly terrific in the reciprocity department. We worked in the same office together (but a big office), and got to know each other over some time. (I always thought she was extemely beautiful and intelligent and talented, but, I'm a slow plugger.) Being a bit older and more mature actually helped us both to be closer -- we'd outgrown of some of those adolescent behaviors that tend to tank relationships, like a quarrel pursued for its own sake, or having to be "right" -- the usual corrosive stuff.

We'd been together for a few years before we actually "jumped the broom" -- the second marriage for each of us. We'd talked about it for awhile, but we finally reached a point where we wanted to honor our relationship with that level of public declaration. It just felt so right all around.

So, not only will I step up to the microphone and unequivocally say, "it'll be okay, dude -- you'll be fine," but I'll you one farther, and say, "it'll be great."

Hang in there, FG -- with your highly developed wit and smarts, I can't get too worried about your future!

:toast: