Reply #24: Stay detached emotionally and romantically from the situation [View All]

Both parties play a role in a domestic violence situation. If you get romantically involved, you are then a part of it. The woman may be a victim, but if she isn't calling the police and/or asking for help from a program like the YWCA or something, than she's not looking to get out, she's looking for a way to make him jealous and provoke a reaction. If the relationship between them is a long-term one, they're hooked on each other and will continue to play games until one of them dies or gets smart. Don't start thinking of yourself as her rescuer, ever. You will set yourself up for some serious disappointment later, when you realize she was just playing you.


If she has contacted the police and obtained a PPO, and you are interested in pursuing a friendship or more with her, give it some time and take it slowly.

I've been observing these relationships for years as a children's service worker (18 1/2 years).