Reply #16: I guess it depends on what you mean by forgive. [View All]

I had a psych professor once admit that even though he was legally obligated to report child abuse he and his colleagues often didn't because they thought it would be too disruptive to the family to have an abusive person prosecuted. I immediately launched into one of those I don't care if you fail me rants and stated how I was sickened by the idea that most people make allowances for abuse that takes place between people that know each other. If anything the penalties should be more severe when somebody abuses their child. Physical pain means almost nothing in terms of how one recovers. When I was in high school I got into a fight with a girl named Jen. She started it but I made sure I finished it. I later found out that when she got home she was slapped around for losing. I can't help but to think that what her father did to her effected her far more then the bruises she got from me.

Getting back to the point of the thread, if a person was raped, beaten, and/or verbally assaulted by a stranger we would all understand how they could forgive the person yet not want anything to do with them. Yes I believe it is healthy for people who have been abused to let go of any anger they may feel but that doesn't mean they have to embrace their abuser even if they are related to them. It is impossible to go back into ones past and recreate a happy childhood complete with great role models but this is what most people want to do when they talk of forgiving abusive parents.