Reply #22: From one southerner to another. [View All]

Trof, we southerners can make a party out of just about anything. We're known to drink Hurricanes while storms rage offshore. We call our friends over and have cook-outs when we have the blues. A funeral is just another excuse for a pot-luck dinner.

But this is weird. It's eerie. It will make the guests VERY uncomfortable...not just for themselves, but also for Judson.

I don't know if you are a family elder or not--but if you could talk to the person who suggested doing this and let them know that it's just not really a good idea, that would be great. Why not pass around a card expressing that you as a family continue to keep Jennifer in your thoughts and have everyone sign it on the sly...then one of you could pass it to Judson after the festivities are over and everyone is departing.

That kind of grief is one that he probably would be uncomfortable sharing in such a festive way. At least with the card, he could open it in private--and, to me, it would have so much more significance than putting Jennifer's name on a cake...a cake that people will eat....that's just kinda weird and, well, gross.

:hug: