Reply #10: About this specific Father's Day, that's up to you. [View All]

But you should keep up an the effort of being social and in contact with him, even if the connection is tenous at best. I say this out of experience. My father was deep in the clutches of untreated manic-depression when I was growing up and well into my twenties. It was an utterly insane lifestyle, one that I had to get away from and recover from when I turned eighteen. Hell, the man even put a shotgun into my face a couple of times, and was serious about it. It was that bad.

However I did keep a link with him, for I remembered the man my father was before his mental issues took over his life. And it finally paid off. When he was sixty he had his first heartattack, and that touch of mortality seemed to be a catalyst for him. He started treating his mental and physical illnesses, and over the course of the last ten years of his life, he and I became quite close. I cried when he passed, was truly moved by his death, whereas a decade earlier I would have celebrated.

And this came about because I still kept a link to him, I didn't blow him off. Sure, it wasn't a strong connection for a long while, but it was still a connection none the less, one that allowed us to reconcile at a later point.

So my advice is to keep a connection with your father. Sure, make it a level that is comfortable for you, but keep that connection nonetheless. Otherwise you might very well regret it later on.