Reply #51: I've had two mastectomies. [View All]

The surgeries were no big deal. Both times, my surgeon wanted to keep me in the hospital overnight, but I insisted on going home. The pain I experienced was from the lymph node removal, and even then the strongest med I took was Tylenol 3. I recall, for example, finding it painful to reach out to pull the car door closed. That sort of thing.

I was warned that it is essential to do stretching exercises to get full use of the arm back. I did that as soon as my doc gave me the okay, which was shortly after surgery. Maybe two or three weeks. I joined a health club so I could sit in a hot tub to warm my muscles, then I "crawled" my hand up the wall of the tub room, my fingers moving like a spider walking. Each day I could "crawl" a little farther. Very soon I had full mobility in my arm.

A not-so-pleasant aftermath of the surgery is the drainage tube that is inserted in the chest. It's coiled inside like a snake and pulls liquid out of the surgery area into a grenade-like plastic container that hangs on the outside of the chest. These have to be emptied several times a day. After a while the plastic tubing is removed (just inhale as the doc yanks it out, and it won't hurt -- I promise ... it's over before you have a chance to cringe).

I strongly advise against reconstruction surgery. The method that uses a woman's own fat is, from what I hear, very painful and it requires foreign materials to be put into the body. This can set up problems. I've met many women who suffered a great deal afterward for no better reason than they wanted breasts. I had implants after my mastectomies and it is the worst health decision of my life. I was very ill because of my systemic reaction to the implants. It was like having the flu every day for several years. I had to go through a big battle to get the implants removed, but once I did, my health improved. It can't be predicted who will react adversely to implants and plastic surgeons will tell you there's no problem with them, but I am the voice of experience and can tell you there can be big problems. I also know LOTS of women who suffered as a result of getting them.

I can also warn you that some surgeons will be very hard-sell in their urgings to women that they get reconstructive surgery. Again, the voice of experience.

When I look at my flat chest and scars, I think of them as my cure. It's been 17 years. There's something comforting for women (with a certain mindset) that comes from knowing those areas of potential spread are removed. It could be helpful for her if you reassure her how beautiful her cure looks to you.

A great resource for information is 1-800-4-CANCER. They will provide your wife with as much free info, at as detailed a level, as she cares to receive about state-of-the-art care for her type of cancer.

I wish her -- and you -- the very best outcome.