|
Ever since civilization began Bein' a man meant bein' a man But lately everybody's gettin' so edified And now we gotta get in touch with our feminine side
And it's a hard time to be a man We try to be as sensitive as we can We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, fight, sweat and stink And now we gotta clean up the sink, good Lord! Now we gotta clean up the sink
Yesterday I was puttin' air in the spare (Hard time to be a man) When a chick walked by with a pair out to there! (Hard time to be a man) Well, I thought I might go over and harass her a bit But then the fear of litigation took the fun out of it
And it's a hard time to be a man We try to be as sensitive as we can We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, fight, spit and swear And now we gotta color our hair, good Lord! Now we gotta color our hair
(Spoken) Now, this bar graph represents the thought processes of the average American male in 1957. We see, in descending order of importance, sex, sports, cars, and sex in sports cars. But things have changed since the enlightenment, as illustrated by this 1993 bar graph showing that men now think about sex, sports, cars, and promoting the wellness of the planet and the humanness of all people by creating a caring and nurturing environment in which to have sex in sports cars.
(Sung) Men are brutish and inflexible and violent and lecherous And rude and self-indulgent, and we like it that way! Callous, immature and confrontational and boorish Why hate your nature? That's what we say!
We've been cursed since we were nursed With the hateful traits that women rate the worst But when we take a wife You know we mate for life Or 30 thousand miles, whichever comes first
I was out drinkin' on a Saturday night (Hard time to be a man) There's a big, drunk, longshoreman pickin' a fight (Hard time to be a man) I told him he should try to heal the child within He said, "That's really quite perceptive," And he bit me on the shin
And it's a hard time to be a man We try to be as sensitive as we can We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, fight, fart and flex And think of something other than sex, good Lord! Think of something other than sex
How 'bout them Niners!
|